A penny saved...is a penny.

-- Leanne McClurg

Innocent until proven broke.

-- Neal Wozniak, commenting on the American philosophy of whoever can afford the best lawyer wins.

I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it now!

-- Queen, "I Want It All"

This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

-- Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams

Mike...dumping J*** for J***** would be like dropping a first-class plane ticket to pick up a bus token.

-- Royce Williams

Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.

-- The man in black, The Princess Bride, William Goldman

I don't particularly like sex...unless it's specifically directed at me!

-- a marine friend of my dad's

Stay-puft marshmallow corn trix...

-- Kevin Hanscom, on sugar cereals

Never rub another man's rhubarb!

-- The Joker, "Batman"

Where can I hide when my mind is my own battlefield?

-- Stephanie Dickens

Excuse me, I want to rape you.

-- Neal Wozniak

God only knows - and even she's guessing!

-- John Hanscom

Who cares?

-- Bartlett Apathy Club motto

Gary - either listen to everything, or listen to nothing, but don't listen to half of what is said and make the rest up!

-- me

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.

-- Janice Joplin, "Me and Bobby McGee"

The eternal peanut guides our lives like a patient father. Quietly, with no advice, an occasional nudge is given to help us along our path in life. No thanks are given, or even asked. Just to see us make a contribution to our planet, however great or small, is thanks enough for the eternal peanut.

-- Rod Remily, from the Bartlett tech booth

There is no problem so vast that you can't add a little guilt to it and make it worse.

-- Calvin & Hobbes

Love is like 7-UP...never had it, never will!

-- Jenny Jones

Reality is for people who lack imagination.

-- Jaci Hudson

McMahon's Maxim: Intelligence is directly proportional to intelligence, and, in some instances, insanity.

-- Matt McMahon

My God! That bowling ball! That's my wife!!!

-- The J. Giles Band, "Hold the Anchovies"

...I retain the feeling that it's the nightmares that are real and my life here and now that's a dream...

-- The Healer's War, Elizabeth Ann Scarborough

"You've lost your grip on reality!"
"Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash, and I'm quite happy to say that I have no grasp on it whatsoever!"

-- "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen"

I don't create problems - I observe existing ones.

-- Susan Beller

Are you going to take me home tonight?
Oh, down beside that red firelight.
Are you going to let it all hang out?
Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round!

-- Queen

I'm always quiet if you don't listen to me!

-- Woody

Yestenday won't be over until tomorrow, and tomorrow began ten thousand years ago.

-- William Faulkner

Living anywhere in the world and being opposed to any race on color is like living in Alaska and being opposed to snow.

-- William Faulkner

If wishes were horses, beggaws would wish for saddles.

-- Spanky

In medium empathy, Jay entered the minds of his former worshippers, and heard them think it and say it. Gravely they repeated:
"God is dead!"
Jay smiled as he pushed the Hold button.
"How wrong they are...but it's true...I had a close shave, once..."

-- Creator, David Lake

The girl was committing suicide again on the lower afterdeck. They told me I'd get used to it, but after four times I could still only pretend to ignone it, pretend that I didn't hear the body go over, hear the splash, and the scream as she was sucked into the screws. It was all too brief and becoming all too familiar.

-- Dance Band on the Titanic, Jack L. Chalker

Three things should never be broken -- toys, hearts, and promises.
Two things should never end -- friendship and happiness.
One thing should never be said -- goodbye.

-- Laurie McCoy

Money is the sincerest form of flattery.
Women love to be flattered.
So do men.

-- James Clark

Voulez-vouz couche avec moi, ce soir?

-- Karyn Moore, Laurie McCoy, and dad, at various times and with various degrees of sincerity.

Accept change, for change is a constant.

-- Laurie McCoy

Carpe diem.

-- "The Dead Poet's Society"

Deaf dumb blind boy sure plays a mean pinball!

-- The Who, "Tommy"

Chivalry is, in short, an oath. It is an oath to: speak the truth, to maintain right, to practice courtesy, and to defend and protect to the utmost women, the poor and the oppressed.

-- Anonymous

My work has nothing to do with reality.

-- M. C. Escher

The ancients had a great advantage over us in that their armies were not trailed by a second army of pen pushers.

-- Napoleon Bonaparte

I don't need to be intelligent. There ane moments I am a complete idiot, and others when I'm less of an idiot. That's all.

-- Gerard Depardieu

It'll be very!

-- "Heathers"

There are tears in the heart
that never reach the eye.

-- Shakespeare

The rules change when they change and everything is true unless it isn't.

-- Mindplayers, Pat Cadigan

All my life I've been saying "Why me?" I finally figured out why - I'm the only one stupid enough to actually do all of this. And you know what? I think I like it.

-- Belgarion, somewhere in the Mallorean (I think), David Eddings

I'll never let you go,
You're always on my mind.
You're the only one for me,
You're all I need,
And I'll never, never let you go.

-- Steelheart, "Never Let You Go"

I hope you got fat.
I hope you got really fat.
'Cause if you got really, really fat
You just might want to see me come back
I hope you got fat.
Don't matter how heavy, how skinny
Just gimme, gimme,
Something, something, something to love.
A little extra weight
Would never look no nicer on nobody else but you.
And I could always use
A little something to hold on to.
And when I get scared in the middle of the night
I'll cling to you.
I hope you got fat.
I hope you got truly fat.
'Cause if you got fat, fat, fat
You just might want to see me come back
I hope you got fat.

-- The Violent Femmes, "Fat"

Religion and sex are powerplays
Manipulate the people for the money they pay
Selling skin, selling god
The numbers look the same on their credit cards
Politicians say no to drugs
While we pay for wars in South America
Fighting fire with empty words
While the banks get fat
And the poor stay poor
And the rich get rich
And the cops get paid
To look away
As the one percent rules America
Spreading the disease

-- Queensryche, "Spreading the Disease" from "Operation: Mindcrime"

How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

-- Bob Dylan, "Like a Rolling Stone"

And is one, two, three, what
we are fighting for, don't ask me
it don't make a sense, next
stop in Vietnam!

-- found on a German school desk, as is

Kein blut fur $ ol!

-- graffiti on the school in Leverkusen

"You keep teasing me and I'm gonna get you!"
"You've already got me."

-- Meryl Streep, then Albert Brooks, in the movie "Defending Your Life"

The killer awoke before dawn
He chose a face from the ancient gallery,
And he walked on down the hall.
He came to the room where his sister slept,
And then he
Paid a visit to his brother,
And then he walked on down the hall!
And he came to a door.
Father?
Yes son?
I want to kill you.
Mother?
I want to...
Aaaaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhh...

-- Jim Morrison in The Doors' "The End"

Oh Randall. Dear Randall. You are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.

-- Evil, in "Time Bandits"

...and the waitress is practicing politics,
as the buisnessmen slowly get stoned.
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call lonliness -
but it's better than drinking alone.

-- Billy Joel, "The Piano Man"

Yikes - this young lady is extremely pretty. Oh, well, she probably has a boyfriend allready. It seems like all the best-looking, nicest people are allready attached to someone. Therefore, the nice guys like me have to settle for what we can get. Fortunately, those women who are less than gorgeous often have much better personalities, and are more real people because of that - and sometimes that can make a person nore beautiful than any model or movie star around. Wow - Woody waxes philosophical. Not! It was a try.

-- me, babbling as I go onto a piece of paper during a class one day

My moral standing is lying down.

-- nine inch nails

mother do you think thy child is sick?
why are my walls built so very thick?
i hide myself so i can feel no pain
but you crack my walls again and again
bringing emotions, people who care
when all i can do is sit and stare
while the feelings i try so hard to suppress
escape, exerting so much stress
that the walls explode, and i feel the pain
of love, and i build my walls again

-- me, in typing class, inspired by Pink Floyd's "The Wall" (of course)

Through the fish eyed lens of tear stained eyes,
i can barely define the shape of this moment in time.
and far from flying high, in clear blue skies,
i'm spiraling down, to a hole in the ground, where i hide.

--Pink Floyd, "The Final Cut"

I've got wide, staring eyes,
And I've got a strong urge to fly --
But I got nowhere to fly to...

-- Pink Floyd, "The Wall"

La vrai disette, c'est l'absence de livres.
(Real poverty is the lack of books.)

-- Colette

A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind as to which way to go.

-- Tripo

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

-- Tripo

Friday is a dangling oasis that hangs at the end of the week.

-- Tony Mello, writing bad (sorry Tony!) yearbook copy

Subj: RE: sheesh
From: Robert A. Iris #87 Last on: 3/23/92
To : Woodstock #120
Date: Mon, Mar 23, 1992 7:58:03

I attended drama school there for a year and we would go downto the science center on group trips. (HAH!) The room goes dark. Speakers come on around and above and below you. A deep voice says welcome. A tiny dot of green light appears high above you, about where venus would be in the sky. And then the scream And the sky errupts into red and yellow. People and objects fly throught the air. Butterflys and cash registers. Strange patters of visual rythym. Your mouth keeps falling open and you try to keep it closed but things, beautiful things keep falling out of the sky. It should never end. Then it does. And the lights come on and the deep voice says thank you and the speakers go quite as the lights turn night into day as you applaud.

-- Robert A. Iris, about the Pink Floyd laser show

Mike and I are just as stupid as everyone else...we're just intellectual about it!

-- Royce, talking to Jana

"What would I do without you?"
"I don't know...probably something really evil."

-- me, then Jess

Is something wrong? she said
Of course there is
You're still alive, she said
And do I deserve to be?
Is that the question?
And if so, if so,
Who answers?
Who answers?

-- Pearl Jam, "Alive"

I pledge allegiance to this way
Of insanity, corruption and decay

-- Machines of Loving Grace, "Burn Like Brilliant Trash"

I can think of only three words to describe the female species. And none of them are worth mentioning.

-- Orlando, Orlando, Virginia Woolf

I want you,
I need you,
But there ain't way I'm ever going to love you.
Now don't be sad...
'cause two out of three ain't bad.

-- Meatloaf, "Two Out Of Three"

If everything's under control you're going too slow.

-- Mario Andretti

Funny thing about weekends when you're unemployed...they don't mean quite as much. 'Cept you get to hang out with your working friends....

-- Primus, "Spegetti Western," Frizzle Fry

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-- License agreement from the Emergency Broadcast Network cd-rom data on Telecommunication Breakdown

This next set of quotes (from Popular Mechanics to Bill Gates) were sent to me as a set. I originally had them in a page of their own titled 'Noteable quotes, or things people said that they probably wish they didn't.'

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year. -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 But what...is it good for? -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. -- Western Union internal memo, 1876. The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s. The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible. -- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp. Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? -- H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927. I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper. -- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind." A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. -- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies. We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. -- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962. Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. -- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895. If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this. -- Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads. So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet." -- Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer. Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools. -- 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work. You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training. -- Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus. Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. -- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859. The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives. -- Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project. This fellow Charles Lindbergh will never make it. He's doomed. -- Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast. Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau. -- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929. Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. -- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre. Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances. -- Dr. Lee De Forest, inventor of the vacuum tube and father of television. Everything that can be invented has been invented. -- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899. Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. -- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872 The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. -- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873. If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one. -- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on April 14, 1954. For the majority of people, smoking has a beneficial effect. -- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in "Newsweek", Nov.18th 1963. 640K ought to be enough for anybody. -- Bill Gates, 1981

You can't really enjoy it unless you can identify it.

-- Kate Pittman

James & Chad go manipulate
Woody's elaborate scrotum
In hot weak tiny chains
& go show it to the Brutal Little Wench
The one with the legs at V.I.

-- Chad, James, and Aimee, playing with poetry magnets

Franticaly languid lick moan heave pant,
Please?
She the blackness up top a symphony
why fall in sad head hair to man
rip in their skin bed gift after
nearly flooding the forest
in her vision of bloody play drool.

-- Chad, James, and Aimee - more magnet fun

Hey, Mike. Smile! It might help your face.

-- Wednesday

By the tickings and tockings of my tiny tiny Timex the time is now two twenty-two and two tenths.

-- Rick, babbling away. You try saying that quickly...

Make way for the ones who walk with two sunsets on every horizon, for they shall be known as the criminally insane.

-- Grafitti in the restroom at VI

I am a card carrying member of the cult of willing participation.

-- Miranda

I'm not a complete idiot. Parts of me are missing.

-- Suzee Vlk

It's got kind of a cajun/hip-hop feel to it...

-- Miranda, trying to describe a country song to me

Sex doesn't ruin relationships - relationships ruin sex.

-- Adri Cowen

Relationships are mules. You start with friendship and sex - a horse and a donkey. Combine them and you get a mule, a pointless beast with no future.

-- Adri Cowen

giggle of girls
scrape of skaters
mope of goths
trip of ravers
lick of lesbians

-- myself and random friends, coming up with group names

On one hand, you have Unix weenies who will swear forever that MocOS is as stupid and lame as a jar of rocks painted like jellybeans...
On the other you have people who have actually taken a look at OX X and can see that Apple's done a remarkable job at modernizing their OS to a Unix kernel.
Apple's finally succeded at breaking the Unix ranks into those who like Unix because it's better and those who like Unix because it makes them feel superior.

-- Kevin Fox, commenting on a Slashdot article about Mac OS X

And the word "PROJECT" flashed before his eyes....

-- Me, James, Casey, Chad...or just about any of us whenever we get in over our heads.

I told the priest,
"Don't count on any second coming,
Got got his ass kicked
the first time he came down here slumming.
He had the balls to come,
The gall to die and then forgive us."
No I don't wonder why -
I wonder what he thought it would get us.

-- Concrete Blonde, "Tomorrow Wendy's Going To Die"

My propensity for locquaciousness and parenthetical diatribes.

-- Me, describing one of my main character traits

---

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