{"id":1447,"date":"2003-07-16T12:35:07","date_gmt":"2003-07-17T02:35:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2003\/07\/16\/lie-clocks\/"},"modified":"2019-12-05T11:27:39","modified_gmt":"2019-12-05T19:27:39","slug":"lie-clocks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2003\/07\/16\/lie-clocks\/","title":{"rendered":"Lie Clocks"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:14155,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.jacobsen.no\\\/anders\\\/blog\\\/archives\\\/2003\\\/07\\\/16\\\/political_joke_politicians_entrance_to_heaven.html&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20250615093751\\\/http:\\\/\\\/www.jacobsen.no\\\/anders\\\/blog\\\/archives\\\/2003\\\/07\\\/16\\\/political_joke_politicians_entrance_to_heaven.html&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-12 17:49:31&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-23 08:14:13&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-23 08:14:13&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<blockquote><p>\n  Donald Rumsfeld died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St.Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, &#8220;What are all those clocks?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  St.Peter answered, &#8220;Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  &#8220;Oh,&#8221; said Rumsfeld, &#8220;whose clock is that?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  &#8220;That&#8217;s Mother Teresa&#8217;s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  &#8220;Impressive,&#8221; said Rumsfeld. &#8220;And whose clock is that one?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  St.Peter responded, &#8220;That&#8217;s Abraham Lincoln&#8217;s clock. The hands have moved twice,telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  &#8220;Where&#8217;s Bush&#8217;s clock?&#8221; asked Rumsfeld.<\/p>\n<p>  &#8220;Bush&#8217;s clock is in Jesus&#8217; office. He&#8217;s using it as a ceiling fan.&#8221;\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>(via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jacobsen.no\/anders\/blog\/archives\/2003\/07\/16\/political_joke_politicians_entrance_to_heaven.html\" title=\"Anders Jacobsen's blog: Political Joke: Politicians' entrance to Heaven\">Anders Jacobsen<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2042],"tags":[6,14],"class_list":["post-1447","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-humor","tag-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1447","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1447"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1447\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1447"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1447"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1447"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}