{"id":2064,"date":"2003-12-25T14:05:08","date_gmt":"2003-12-26T06:05:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2003\/12\/25\/the-miracles-of-christmas\/"},"modified":"2019-12-06T15:01:30","modified_gmt":"2019-12-06T23:01:30","slug":"the-miracles-of-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2003\/12\/25\/the-miracles-of-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"The miracles of Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:12584,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/ASIN\\\/B00005QCVY\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/ASIN\\\/B00005QCVY\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:12585,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/ASIN\\\/B0000AYJUW\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20260312003401\\\/https:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/ASIN\\\/B0000AYJUW\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/ASIN\\\/B0000AYJUW\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>The real miracles of Christmas, according to me:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Miracle One:<\/strong> In thirty years of Christmas seasons, to the best of my knowledge, I have never seen either <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/B00005QCVY\/djwudicom-20\" title=\"It's A Wonderful Life\">It&#8217;s A Wonderful Life<\/a> <em>or<\/em> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/B0000AYJUW\/djwudicom-20\" title=\"A Christmas Story\">A Christmas Story<\/a>. Never. Not once. I haven&#8217;t gone out of my way to avoid seeing them, but I certainly haven&#8217;t gone out of my way to attempt to see them, either. For one reason or another, it just hasn&#8217;t happened.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Miracle Two:<\/strong> That despite having no less than three different versions of &#8220;I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus&#8221; programmed into the in-store Muzak at work, resulting in my having to listen to that insipid song no less than 240 times over the past month (three times in a two-hour repeating block of music over eight hours, twelve times a day, 40 times a week, 240 times since Thanksgiving), not to mention being treated to innumerable different versions of every other Christmas song ever recorded every time I stepped out of the house since Thanksgiving, I <em>still<\/em> managed not to devolve into a gibbering psychopath and start randomly destroying speakers, PA systems, stereos, and random carolers whenever I passed them.<\/p>\n<p>It was really, really, <em>really<\/em> tempting, though.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The real miracles of Christmas, according to me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2035,2043,2037],"tags":[2449,13],"class_list":["post-2064","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music","category-personal","category-tv-and-films","tag-its-a-wonderful-life","tag-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2064","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2064"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2064\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2064"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2064"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2064"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}