{"id":2190,"date":"2004-01-30T14:41:29","date_gmt":"2004-01-31T06:41:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2004\/01\/30\/lord-of-the-rings-dating-tips\/"},"modified":"2019-12-09T15:33:08","modified_gmt":"2019-12-09T23:33:08","slug":"lord-of-the-rings-dating-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2004\/01\/30\/lord-of-the-rings-dating-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"Lord of the Rings dating tips"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:11860,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.alternet.org\\\/story.html?StoryID=17664&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20040610083224\\\/http:\\\/\\\/www.alternet.org:80\\\/story.html?StoryID=17664&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.alternet.org\\\/story.html?StoryID=17664&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-24 16:44:31&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-02 22:11:33&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-07 00:30:56&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:404}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-07 00:30:56&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:404},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:11861,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.droyer.org\\\/~rachel\\\/blog\\\/archives\\\/001181.html&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20040811004935\\\/http:\\\/\\\/www.droyer.org:80\\\/~rachel\\\/blog\\\/archives\\\/001181.html&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-11 20:00:41&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:530},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-24 16:44:31&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:530},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-02 22:11:34&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:530},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-07 00:30:58&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:530}],&quot;broken&quot;:true,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-07 00:30:58&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:530},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.alternet.org\/story.html?StoryID=17664\" title=\"LOTR Dating Manual\">Epic fantasy as a dating manual<\/a>?<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>When you&#8217;re trying to catch the cute guy&#8217;s eye is the exact moment the dwarf will pick to approach you;<\/li>\n<li>Eating raw fish is no longer a sign of a sophisticated date. (That said, you have to admit the Atkins plan is working for Gollum.)<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;re the only girl among 100 guys you&#8217;ll still fall for the only one who has a girlfriend;<\/li>\n<li>When overused, terms of endearment such as &#8220;precious&#8221; lose their meaning;<\/li>\n<li>All couples fight, but battles shouldn&#8217;t last so long that one of you has to get up and stretch your legs or use the bathroom;<\/li>\n<li>It doesn&#8217;t matter if you look like Liv Tyler; your pining and whining will still get on people&#8217;s nerves;<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t blame your friends just because they can see right through your creepy little partner;<\/li>\n<li>If you can get along on a road trip, the relationship will probably last;<\/li>\n<li>There will come a point when it seems like the relationship should be over. Don&#8217;t drag it out. Just end it there.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>  And finally, the mother of all dating wisdom:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Some people will go to any lengths to get a ring; others, having had one for awhile, will go to any lengths to chuck it into a volcano.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>(via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.droyer.org\/~rachel\/blog\/archives\/001181.html\" title=\"Dating Lessons from Middle Earth\">Rachel<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p><strong>iTunes:<\/strong> &#8220;Moron&#8221; by K.M.F.D.M. from the album <em>WWIII<\/em> (2003, 5:05).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some people will go to any lengths to get a ring; others, having had one for awhile, will go to any lengths to chuck it into a volcano.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2036,2037],"tags":[23,6,1853],"class_list":["post-2190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-tv-and-films","tag-film","tag-humor","tag-the-lord-of-the-rings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2190"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2190\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}