{"id":244,"date":"2001-10-30T11:47:15","date_gmt":"2001-10-30T19:47:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/?p=244"},"modified":"2019-11-25T15:25:00","modified_gmt":"2019-11-25T23:25:00","slug":"mullet-haiku","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2001\/10\/30\/mullet-haiku\/","title":{"rendered":"Mullet haiku"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:16789,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.mulletlovers.com&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20250926103132\\\/https:\\\/\\\/mulletlovers.com\\\/&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-14 14:28:40&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-24 09:12:28&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:503},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-31 11:22:00&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:503}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-31 11:22:00&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:503},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>This got handed to me at work a while back. I&#8217;m no expert on haiku, so I can&#8217;t gaurantee that these all follow the rules as far as syllables and such&#8230;but I thought they were hilarious.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, and by the way, just in case you&#8217;ve not yet heard the term &#8216;mullet&#8217;, just let <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mulletlovers.com\/\" title=\"Mullett Lovers\">Mullet Lovers<\/a> fill you in.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<table border=\"0\" cellpadding=\"2\" cellspacing=\"1\">\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">Shampoo stings my eyes,<br \/>I will never feel that twice:<br \/>slick hair smells like gas<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">O! SQUIRREL brother,<br \/>Your tail, my hair We are one<br \/>Yet I must eat you<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">I liked that foreign<br \/>legion movie so much, I<br \/>grew me one them hats<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">Brown edged tank top sticks<br \/>to my white clumpy armpits<br \/>Somehow I get laid<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">Flowing down the back<br \/>helps to keep mind closed, hate<br \/>released by short top<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">My hair: slammin like<br \/>Stone Cold Can I get a Hell<br \/>yeah? Hell yeah Hell yeah<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">This super cool hair<br \/>and a bucket of chicken:<br \/>What more could I want?<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">Lynyrd Skynyrd didn&#8217;t<br \/>win no spelling bees Who cares?<br \/>They rock the trailer<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">Metallica is<br \/>for first graders Nothing rocks<br \/>harder than Winger<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">Dogs urinate where<br \/>they so choose And so do I<br \/>Red and blue lights flash<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">Short like your schooling<br \/>Long like your prison sentence<br \/>The penal haircut<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">With long hair in place<br \/>How else can I rebel?<br \/>Hand me the bong uncle<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">Under the Christmas tree<br \/>Tight black jeans and a comb<br \/>I&#8217;ve been extra good<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">New white tank top tucks<br \/>Neatly into tight black jeans<br \/>Redneck romeo<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">Short for dad<br \/>Long for the daughter mom always wanted<br \/>Everyone&#8217;s happy<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">You smoke me up and jerk me off<br \/>You are the best<br \/>And I love you, sis<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">Ponytails are for wimps<br \/>But if you let that hair loose<br \/>You are my brother<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">Razor set to one<br \/>Do front and sides and then stop<br \/>Reaffirm my style<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">Teen runaway<br \/>I hate my dad. Yet I am one<br \/>Fly, thunderbird, fly<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">Bald on the top<br \/>and long on the back<br \/>Behold my glorious skullet<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\">My mullet and me<br \/>like to climb up a tree<br \/>We&#8217;re the best friends that could be<\/td>\n<td align=\"center\">Dad likes my Mullet<br \/>The nurse calls it a critter carpet<br \/>My head breeds<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Short like your schooling \/ Long like your prison sentence \/ The penal haircut<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2043],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-244","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=244"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}