{"id":2551,"date":"2004-05-31T17:45:24","date_gmt":"2004-06-01T07:45:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2004\/05\/31\/most-naturally-beautiful-women\/"},"modified":"2019-12-10T13:40:07","modified_gmt":"2019-12-10T21:40:07","slug":"most-naturally-beautiful-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2004\/05\/31\/most-naturally-beautiful-women\/","title":{"rendered":"Most naturally beautiful women"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:10888,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.theage.com.au\\\/articles\\\/2004\\\/05\\\/31\\\/1085855500654.html&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20140827041850\\\/http:\\\/\\\/www.theage.com.au:80\\\/articles\\\/2004\\\/05\\\/31\\\/1085855500654.html&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-11 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17:22:37&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:10904,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/images.google.com\\\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Ingrid+Bergman&amp;btnG=Search&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/images.google.com\\\/imghp?hl=en&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:10905,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/images.google.com\\\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Kim+Novak&amp;btnG=Search&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20021001203319\\\/http:\\\/\\\/images.google.com:80\\\/images?hl=en&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-11 10:23:29&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-28 13:10:15&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-05 17:22:35&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-05 17:22:35&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:10906,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/images.google.com\\\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Raquel+Welch&amp;btnG=Search&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/images.google.com\\\/imghp?hl=en&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>A &#8220;panel of experts&#8221; (beauty and fashion editors, make-up artists, model agencies and photographers) has just released a list of the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theage.com.au\/articles\/2004\/05\/31\/1085855500654.html\" title=\"Top 100 Beauties\">top 100 most naturally beautiful women<\/a>. Here&#8217;s the <a href=\"http:\/\/news.bbc.co.uk\/2\/hi\/uk_news\/3763887.stm\" title=\"Audrey Hepburn tops beauty poll\">top 10<\/a>, in reverse order (just pretend the numbers count from 10 to 1 instead of from 1 to 10, HTML can&#8217;t do reverse-ordered lists &#91;why not, dammit?&#93;&#8230;oh, and the links are to Google Image Searches, and may not be worksafe):<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Elle+MacPherson&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Elle MacPherson\">Elle MacPherson<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Helena+Christensen&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Helena Christensen\">Helena Christensen<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Halle+Berry&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Halle Berry\">Halle Berry<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Juliette+Binoche&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Juliette Binoche\">Juliette Binoche<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Natalie+Imbruglia&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Natalie Imbruglia\">Natalie Imbruglia<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Grace+Kelly&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Grace Kelly\">Grace Kelly<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Angelina+Jolie&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Angelina Jolie\">Angelina Jolie<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Cate+Blanchett&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Cate Blanchett\">Cate Blanchett<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Liv+Tyler&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Liv Tyler\">Liv Tyler<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Audrey+Hepburn&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Audrey Hepburn\">Audrey Hepburn<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>I don&#8217;t agree with all of the list (Liv Tyler at &#35;2?), was pleasantly surprised at some of it (hooray for putting Cate Blanchett in the top ten &#8212; while I&#8217;ve often thought that she&#8217;s gorgeous, she has a somewhat odd &#91;angular?&#93; look that some people I&#8217;ve talked to don&#8217;t appreciate as much), but putting Audrey Hepburn in the number one spot?<\/p>\n<p>That is so, so, <em>so<\/em> absolutely perfect.<\/p>\n<p>(Swoon&#8230;)<\/p>\n<p>Personally, though, I&#8217;d knock Liv entirely off the top ten and put <a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Nicole+Kidman&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Nicole Kidman\">Nicole Kidman<\/a> in her place. Part of what caught my eye about this story, though, was seeing it posted on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.fark.com\/\" title=\"Fark\">Fark<\/a>. Each link submitted to Fark gets a small category tag associated with it &#8212; &#8220;amusing&#8221;, &#8220;asinine&#8221;, &#8220;boobies&#8221;, and the like &#8212; and the tag assigned to this story was &#8220;unlikely&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p><em>Unlikely?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>My lord.<\/p>\n<p>Reading the <a href=\"http:\/\/forums.fark.com\/cgi\/fark\/comments.pl?IDLink=976744\" title=\"Audrey Hepburn tops list of most naturally beautiful women\">comments on Fark<\/a>, I was quite gratified to learn that I wasn&#8217;t the only person to take umbrage at that &#8220;unlikely&#8221; tag&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n  (leans out of van, grabs poster by lapels, pulls him into van)<\/p>\n<p>  Okay, nodog, drive, drive!!<\/p>\n<p>  (turns to poster)<\/p>\n<p>  Just shut up and don&#8217;t scream and you&#8217;re going to be okay.<\/p>\n<p>  (lights cigarette)<\/p>\n<p>  Lissen, you. My friends and I just wanted to take you for a little ride so you could clear your head.<\/p>\n<p>  Now what exactly is your problem with Audrey Hepburn?<\/p>\n<p>  (smacks poster)<\/p>\n<p>  Hey! Don&#8217;t you f&#42;ckin&#8217; turn away from me when I ask you a question! I said, WHAT IS YOUR F&#42;CKING PROBLEM WITH AUDREY HEPBURN?<\/p>\n<p>  (looks at poster)<\/p>\n<p>  What, are you going to cry now? You scaaared?<\/p>\n<p>  Well, you should be scared. Running around town with no taste whatsoever, you gonna get in big trouble someday, punk.<\/p>\n<p>  (draws on cigarette)<\/p>\n<p>  How old are you, kid? 30, 31? Don&#8217;t you know anything?<\/p>\n<p>  You dare sit there and badmouth Audrey and what do you bring to the table, huh?<\/p>\n<p>  (searches pockets of poster, looks at what he&#8217;s found)<\/p>\n<p>  This is your ideal of a beautiful woman? BRITNEY F&#42;CKING SPEARS? And what&#8217;s this? <a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;c2coff=1&amp;safe=off&amp;q=Aria+Giovanni&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Aria Giovanni\">ARIA GIOVANNI<\/a>? What are you, f&#42;cking ten?<\/p>\n<p>  Listen, I&#8217;m going to tell you once, so you listen good. Audrey Hepburn, <a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Ingrid+Bergman&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Ingrid Bergman\">Ingrid Bergman<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Kim+Novak&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Kim Novak\">Kim Novak<\/a>. Before you were a f&#42;cking squirt on a towel these women ruled the earth. <a href=\"http:\/\/images.google.com\/images?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;safe=off&amp;c2coff=1&amp;q=Raquel+Welch&amp;btnG=Search\" title=\"Raquel Welch\">Raquel Welch<\/a>, Grace Kelly. GRACE F&#42;CKING KELLY.<\/p>\n<p>  You get me? Don&#8217;t you ever&#8211;and I mean ever&#8211;bring your taste for dried up, pre-fabbed, over-hyped, no-talent, unattractive coozes around here again.<\/p>\n<p>  (flicks cigarette in poster&#8217;s face)<\/p>\n<p>  Now get the f&#42;ck out of here before i do something you regret.<\/p>\n<p>  (throws him out of the moving van).\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8212; LarsThorwald<\/p>\n<p><strong>iTunes:<\/strong> &#8220;Earth Chakra&#8221; by Azukx from the album <em>Return to the Source: The Chakra Journey<\/em> (1996, 8:21).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A &#8216;panel of experts&#8217; (beauty and fashion editors, make-up artists, model agencies and photographers) has just released a list of the top 100 most naturally beautiful women. Here&#8217;s the top 10.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2028],"tags":[39],"class_list":["post-2551","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-links","tag-links"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2551","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2551"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2551\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2551"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2551"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2551"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}