{"id":2663,"date":"2004-07-10T16:52:17","date_gmt":"2004-07-11T06:52:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2004\/07\/10\/toilets-of-doom\/"},"modified":"2019-12-10T16:43:05","modified_gmt":"2019-12-11T00:43:05","slug":"toilets-of-doom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2004\/07\/10\/toilets-of-doom\/","title":{"rendered":"Toilets of Doom"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>While much was made about the fancy-shmancy <a href=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2004\/03\/toilet_tourism.html\" title=\"Toilet Tourism\">automated self-cleaning public toilets<\/a> that popped up here in Seattle a few months ago, I&#8217;ve yet to actually give one of them a shot myself.<\/p>\n<p>This is primarily because while I&#8217;ve seen more than a few people go <em>into<\/em> them&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;I&#8217;ve yet to see someone <em>come out<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m convinced that they&#8217;re not really toilets at all. They&#8217;re population control. Self-contained extermination booths. The fifteen minutes that are allowed? That&#8217;s actually how long it takes for the acid showers to dissolve everything down to the bones, after which the floor opens and drops any bits that couldn&#8217;t be eaten away (watches, fillings, jewelry, etc.) down to a collection bin to be distributed to pawn shops throughout the city.<\/p>\n<p>Or then again, maybe I&#8217;m just paranoid.<\/p>\n<p><strong>iTunes:<\/strong> &#8220;A Deeper Love (Underground Club)&#8221; by Clivill\u00e9s and Cole from the album <em>Pride (In the Name of Love)<\/em> (1991, 6:00).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While much was made about the fancy-shmancy automated self-cleaning public toilets that popped up here in Seattle a few months ago, I&#8217;ve yet to actually give one of them a shot myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2043],"tags":[13],"class_list":["post-2663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2663"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2663\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}