‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the land,
\nnot a critic was stirring, for stirring was banned.
\nA thousand brown prisoners, snug in their cells,
\nall held without charges or tinsel or bells;<\/p>\n
And mamma was wrapped in the national flag,
\nwhile we sang “Where there’s never a boast or a brag.”
\nWhen out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
\nI sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.<\/p>\n
Away to the TV I flew like a flash;
\nI then watched “Survivor” and reruns of “Mash.”
\nThe fireworks, exploding above the new snow,
\ngave a luster of objects to people below.<\/p>\n
When what saw my wondering eyes in the flashes:
\na miniature George Bush and eight tiny fascists!
\nTheir jerseys were blue and said “WORLD DOMINATION”;
\nI knew right away this was not just claymation.<\/p>\n
More rapid than eagles the warlords they came,
\nas the little Bush whistled and called them by name:
\n“Now, Daschle! now, Ashcroft! Now Strom, don’t relent!
\nOn, Poindexter, Rumsfeld! on Henry and Trent!<\/p>\n
To the top of the globe, while the crowd’s at the mall,
\nnow bomb away, bomb away, bomb away all!”
\nHis sack had a war game for each girl and boy;
\nhis pocket, four billion from just Illinois.<\/p>\n
Far up on his high seat the driver did mount,
\nwith more massive weapons than Kofi could count.
\nAnd then, I heard sounds from away off somewhere,
\nthe booming of bombs that were bursting in air.<\/p>\n
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
\ndown the chimney old Dick Cheney came with a bound.
\nHe said not a word, nor disclosed his location;
\nhe wiretapped my house in the name of the nation.<\/p>\n
Then holding the strings of his little Bush puppet,
\nhe went to the chimney and quickly rose up it.
\nThe sleigh was still running, but Dick didn’t hurry;
\ngas guzzlers, it seemed, were no longer a worry.<\/p>\n
He popped the champagne and exclaimed as he served it,
\n“The world is now ours, and GOD DAMN, we deserve it!”<\/p>\n