{"id":3307,"date":"2005-05-06T13:51:20","date_gmt":"2005-05-06T20:51:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/05\/06\/you-wont-succeed-on-broadway-if-you-dont-have-any-jews\/"},"modified":"2019-12-13T14:43:57","modified_gmt":"2019-12-13T22:43:57","slug":"you-wont-succeed-on-broadway-if-you-dont-have-any-jews","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/05\/06\/you-wont-succeed-on-broadway-if-you-dont-have-any-jews\/","title":{"rendered":"You won&#8217;t succeed on Broadway if you don&#8217;t  have any Jews!"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:8314,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FplayListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8315,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.montypythonsspamalot.com\\\/low_band\\\/index.html&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;new&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8316,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/tg\\\/detail\\\/-\\\/B00005O3VC\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/tg\\\/detail\\\/-\\\/B00005O3VC\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8317,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D59580618%2526playListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8318,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D59580643%2526playListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8319,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D59580524%2526playListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8320,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\/wiki\\\/Andrew_Lloyd_Webber&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20260209124226\\\/https:\\\/\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\/wiki\\\/Andrew_Lloyd_Webber&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-10 09:09:53&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-08 10:06:13&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-08 10:06:13&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8321,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\/wiki\\\/The_Phantom_of_the_Opera_%281986_musical%29&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20260302223910\\\/https:\\\/\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\/wiki\\\/The_Phantom_of_the_Opera_(1986_musical)&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-10 09:09:57&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-10 09:09:57&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8322,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/tg\\\/detail\\\/-\\\/B0007OY2TE\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20260310104308\\\/https:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/tg\\\/detail\\\/-\\\/B0007OY2TE\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.amazon.com\\\/exec\\\/obidos\\\/tg\\\/detail\\\/-\\\/B0007OY2TE\\\/djwudicom-20&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-07 01:12:42&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-07 01:12:42&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:6221,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/click?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FplayListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Spamalot\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/05\/graphics\/spamalot.jpg\" height=\"149\" width=\"150\" border=\"0\" align=\"right\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Spamalot\" \/><\/a>I spent most of the first part of my morning in tears today &#8212; because I couldn&#8217;t stop laughing. Last night I noticed that the iTunes Music Store had the <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FplayListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Spamalot\">Broadway cast soundtrack to Spamalot<\/a>. Of course, that was a no-brainer impulse buy.<\/p>\n<p>So far I&#8217;ve only listened to it once straight through, and that was while working, so I didn&#8217;t catch quite everything, but it&#8217;s <em>hilarious<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.montypythonsspamalot.com\/low_band\/index.html\" title=\"Spamalot!\">The show<\/a>, of course, is &#8220;(lovingly) ripped off from the motion picture <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/tg\/detail\/-\/B00005O3VC\/djwudicom-20\" title=\"Amazon: Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones: 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Special Edition)'\">Monty Python and the Holy Grail<\/a>,&#8221; and much of the best-loved elements from the movie are in the show, along with a few other bits and pieces from the Python canon (including &#8216;<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D59580618%2526playListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Spamalot: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life\">Always Look on the Bright Side of Life<\/a>&#8216;, and even the fish slapping dance).<\/p>\n<p>Some of the best parts that I&#8217;ve found so far, though, are lampooning Broadway itself, with two obvious standout tracks.<\/p>\n<p>The first is &#8216;<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D59580643%2526playListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Spamalot: You Won't Succeed on Broadway\">You Won&#8217;t Succeed on Broadway<\/a>&#8216;, which points out that there&#8217;s no way for any show to be a hit unless there&#8217;s a Jew in the story. It all starts (as I&#8217;ve found thanks to a few reviews) after Arthur and his knights are given a task by the mighty Knights of Ni: they must open a hit Broadway show.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n  <strong>Arthur<\/strong>: Have you heard of this&#8230;&#8217;Broadway?&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Robin<\/strong>: Yes sir, but we don&#8217;t stand a chance there.<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Arthur<\/strong>: Why not?<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Robin<\/strong>: Because! Broadway is a very special place, filled with very special people. People who can sing, and dance &#8212; often at the same time! They are a different people, a multitalented people, a people who need people, and who are in many ways the luckiest people in the world. I&#8217;m sorry sire. We don&#8217;t have a chance.<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Arthur<\/strong>: But <em>why<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Robin<\/strong>: Well&#8230;let me put it like this&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>  In any great adventure<br \/>\n  if you don&#8217;t want to lose,<br \/>\n  Victory depends upon<br \/>\n  the people that you choose.<br \/>\n  So listen Arthur, darling,<br \/>\n  closely to this news &#8212;<br \/>\n  We won&#8217;t succeed on Broadway<br \/>\n  if we don&#8217;t have any Jews!\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The second, and so far my favorite piece from the soundtrack, is &#8216;<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D59580524%2526playListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Spamalot: The Song That Goes Like This\">The Song that Goes Like This<\/a>,&#8217; a deliciously perfect sendup of the \u00fcber-schmaltzy headlining track in far too many modern Broadway shows, most notoriously those of <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Andrew_Lloyd_Webber\" title=\"Wikipedia: Andrew Lloyd Webber\">Andrew Lloyd Webber<\/a> (apparently, this song is sung in a boat surrounded by candles as a chandelier descends from the ceiling&#8230;<a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Phantom_of_the_Opera_%281986_musical%29\" title=\"Wikipedia: The Phantom of the Opera (1986 musical)\">sound familiar to anyone<\/a>?).<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n  <strong>Lancelot<\/strong>: Once in every show,<br \/>\n  there comes a song like this,<br \/>\n  it starts off nice and slow,<br \/>\n  and ends up with a kiss.<br \/>\n  Oh, well. Here&#8217;s the song<br \/>\n  that goes like this.<br \/>\n  Where is it? Where? Where?<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Lady of the Lake<\/strong>: A sentimental song,<br \/>\n  it casts a magic spell,<br \/>\n  They only hum along,<br \/>\n  we&#8217;ll overact like hell.<br \/>\n  Oh this! Is the song<br \/>\n  that goes like this.<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Both<\/strong>: Yes it is. \/ Yes it is! \/ Yes it is! \/ Oh yes it is!<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Lancelot<\/strong>: Now we can go straight<br \/>\n  into the middle eight,<br \/>\n  a bridge<br \/>\n  that is too far for me.<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Lady of the Lake<\/strong>: I&#8217;ll sing it in your face,<br \/>\n  while we both embrace.<\/p>\n<p>  <strong>Both<\/strong>: And then!<br \/>\n  We change the key!\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>And it just goes on&#8230;it&#8217;s <em>wonderful<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Pick it up <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FplayListId%253D59580420%2526originStoreFront%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Spamalot\">from the iTMS<\/a>, or if you&#8217;re partial to physical media, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/tg\/detail\/-\/B0007OY2TE\/djwudicom-20\" title=\"Amazon: : 'Spamalot (2005 Original Broadway Cast)'\">from Amazon<\/a>. It&#8217;s well worth adding to your collection.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/click?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"iTunes\" border=\"0\" width=\"61\" height=\"15\" src=\"http:\/\/images.apple.com\/itunesaffiliates\/logos\/iTunes_sm_bdg61x15.png\" \/><\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"http:\/\/ad.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/show?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;bids=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0\" \/> &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FsongTerm=Diva's Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"Search for 'Diva's Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)' on the iTMS\">Diva&#8217;s Lament (What Ever Happened to My Part?)<\/a>&#8221; by <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FartistTerm%253DRamirez, Sara%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"Search for Ramirez, Sara on the iTMS\">Ramirez, Sara<\/a> from the album <em><a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FalbumTerm=Spamalot (Original Broadway Cast)%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"Search for Spamalot (Original Broadway Cast) on the iTMS\">Spamalot (Original Broadway Cast)<\/a><\/em> (2005, 2:32).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I spent most of the first part of my morning in tears today &#8212; because I couldn&#8217;t stop laughing. Last night I noticed that the iTunes Music Store had the Broadway cast soundtrack to Spamalot. Of course, that was a no-brainer impulse buy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2035],"tags":[6,2241,2067,80,2752],"class_list":["post-3307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music","tag-humor","tag-monty-python","tag-monty-python-and-the-holy-grail","tag-music","tag-spamalot"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}