{"id":3328,"date":"2005-05-18T10:44:38","date_gmt":"2005-05-18T17:44:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/05\/18\/top-12-things-a-klingon-programmer-would-say\/"},"modified":"2019-12-13T14:56:31","modified_gmt":"2019-12-13T22:56:31","slug":"top-12-things-a-klingon-programmer-would-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/05\/18\/top-12-things-a-klingon-programmer-would-say\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:8251,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/hardware.slashdot.org\\\/comments.pl?sid=149912&amp;cid=12566310&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<blockquote>\n<ol>\n<li>Specifications are for the weak and timid!<\/li>\n<li>This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual processors if I am to do battle with this code!<\/li>\n<li>You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you&#8217;ve read it in the original Klingon.<\/li>\n<li>Indentation?! &#8212; I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!<\/li>\n<li>What is this talk of &#8216;release&#8217;? Klingons do not make software &#8216;releases&#8217;. Our software &#8216;escapes&#8217; leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.<\/li>\n<li>Klingon function calls do not have &#8216;parameters&#8217; &#8212; they have &#8216;arguments&#8217; &#8212; and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.<\/li>\n<li>Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.<\/li>\n<li>I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.<\/li>\n<li>A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!<\/li>\n<li>By filing this SCR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!<\/li>\n<li>You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!<\/li>\n<li>Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>  Seeing as how old school programmers think like Klingon programmers, I believe that it can be reasonably assumed that all old programmers are Klingon.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>(Found on <a href=\"http:\/\/hardware.slashdot.org\/comments.pl?sid=149912&amp;cid=12566310\" title=\"\/.: Re:And the use would be?\">\/.<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Seeing as how old school programmers think like Klingon programmers, I believe that it can be reasonably assumed that all old programmers are Klingon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2047,2038],"tags":[6,875,4097],"class_list":["post-3328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-star-trek","category-tech","tag-humor","tag-klingons","tag-star-trek"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3328"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3328\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}