{"id":3354,"date":"2005-06-02T21:18:26","date_gmt":"2005-06-03T04:18:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/06\/02\/kumquat-mania\/"},"modified":"2019-12-16T13:53:23","modified_gmt":"2019-12-16T21:53:23","slug":"kumquat-mania","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/06\/02\/kumquat-mania\/","title":{"rendered":"Kumquat Mania"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:8138,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\/wiki\\\/Kumquat&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\/wiki\\\/Kumquat&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:8139,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/forums.fark.com\\\/cgi\\\/fark\\\/comments.pl?IDLink=1503110&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20050721084834\\\/http:\\\/\\\/forums.fark.com:80\\\/cgi\\\/fark\\\/comments.pl?IDLink=1503110&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-10 04:45:10&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:403},{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-15 04:03:27&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:403}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-04-15 04:03:27&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:403},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:6221,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/click?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>&#8216;Kumquat&#8217; has long been one of my favorite words. It&#8217;s rather silly, fun to say, and sounds like it might be something slightly perverse, but it&#8217;s nothing more than a <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Kumquat\" title=\"Wikipedia: Kumquat\">little orange fruit<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I just stumbled across <a href=\"http:\/\/forums.fark.com\/cgi\/fark\/comments.pl?IDLink=1503110\" title=\"Fark: Theme: Replace a word in a song or movie title with the word 'kumquat' and photoshop the result\">this Fark Photoshop competition<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n  Theme: Replace a word in a song or movie title with the word &#8220;kumquat&#8221; and photoshop the result\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I generally skip most of Fark&#8217;s photoshop threads, as they&#8217;re generally only of fair-to-middling quality, and the level of humor is often lower than I generally get a kick out of. This one I had to check out though&#8230;and I&#8217;m glad I did.<\/p>\n<p>As it turned out, there were lots of good gags. As images posted to Fark tend to be transitory, I&#8217;ve snagged the best of them here. One to start with, then the rest behind the cut (it&#8217;ll be a bit image-heavy, modem users beware)&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/darksideofthekumquat.jpg\" height=\"368\" width=\"490\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Dark Side of the Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/2010kumquat.jpg\" height=\"425\" width=\"285\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"The Year We Make Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/0531429cd5e0d475e.jpg\" height=\"475\" width=\"333\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Kumquatsi\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/14812444883.jpg\" height=\"650\" width=\"490\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/AmericanKumquat.jpg\" height=\"550\" width=\"380\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"American Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/clock_kum.jpg\" height=\"600\" width=\"400\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Clockwork Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/finding_kumquat.jpg\" height=\"725\" width=\"490\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Finding Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/giantkumquat9xb.jpg\" height=\"600\" width=\"425\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"James and the Giant Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/h2gk5ms.jpg\" height=\"514\" width=\"394\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/holykumquats.jpg\" height=\"343\" width=\"343\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Houses of the Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/Kumq007.jpg\" height=\"578\" width=\"400\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Kumquats are Forever\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/Kumquat.jpg\" height=\"469\" width=\"490\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"The Passion of the Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/kumquat-1.jpg\" height=\"300\" width=\"300\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Kumquat Pie\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/kumquats.jpg\" height=\"516\" width=\"330\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Attack of the Killer Kumquats\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/kumquottmay.jpg\" height=\"426\" width=\"490\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Kumquat May\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/pulp-kumquat.jpg\" height=\"840\" width=\"490\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"Pulp Kumquat\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/vukumquat4fg.jpg\" height=\"291\" width=\"300\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"The Velvet Underground and Nico\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/warofthekumquats.jpg\" height=\"680\" width=\"443\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"The War of the Kumquats\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/graphics\/2005\/06\/graphics\/wrath0ug.jpg\" height=\"520\" width=\"416\" border=\"0\" hspace=\"0\" vspace=\"0\" alt=\"The Kumquats of Wrath\" \/><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/click?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"iTunes\" border=\"0\" width=\"61\" height=\"15\" src=\"http:\/\/images.apple.com\/itunesaffiliates\/logos\/iTunes_sm_bdg61x15.png\" \/><\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"http:\/\/ad.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/show?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;bids=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0\" \/> &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FsongTerm=Basket Case%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"Search for 'Basket Case' on the iTMS\">Basket Case<\/a>&#8221; by <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FartistTerm%253DEon A%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"Search for Eon A on the iTMS\">Eon A<\/a> from the album <em><a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FalbumTerm=Aural Ecstasy: The Best of Techno%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"The Best of Techno on the iTMS\">Aural Ecstasy: The Best of Techno<\/a><\/em> (1992, 5:43).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I generally skip most of Fark&#8217;s photoshop threads, as they&#8217;re generally only of fair-to-middling quality, and the level of humor is often lower than I generally get a kick out of. This one I had to check out though&#8230;and I&#8217;m glad I did.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2035,2037],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-3354","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music","category-tv-and-films","tag-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3354","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3354"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3354\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3354"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3354"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3354"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}