{"id":3484,"date":"2005-09-07T12:10:49","date_gmt":"2005-09-07T19:10:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/09\/07\/white-foragers-report-threat-of-black-looters\/"},"modified":"2019-12-17T16:24:56","modified_gmt":"2019-12-18T00:24:56","slug":"white-foragers-report-threat-of-black-looters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/09\/07\/white-foragers-report-threat-of-black-looters\/","title":{"rendered":"White Foragers Report Threat Of Black Looters"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:7781,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.theonion.com\\\/content\\\/node\\\/40305&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/www.theonion.com\\\/content\\\/node\\\/40305&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>From <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/content\/node\/40305\" title=\"The Onion: God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again\">The Onion<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n  NEW ORLEANS\u2014Throughout the Gulf Coast, Caucasian suburbanites attempting to gather food and drink in the shattered wreckage of shopping districts have reported seeing African Americans &#8220;looting snacks and beer from damaged businesses.&#8221; &#8220;I was in the abandoned Wal-Mart gathering an air mattress so I could float out the potato chips, beef jerky, and Budweiser I&#8217;d managed to find,&#8221; said white survivor Lars Wrightson, who had carefully selected foodstuffs whose salt and alcohol content provide protection against contamination. &#8220;Then I look up, and I see a whole family of [African-Americans] going straight for the booze. Hell, you could see they had already looted a fortune in diapers.&#8221; Radio stations still in operation are advising store owners and white people in the affected areas to locate firearms in sporting-goods stores in order to protect themselves against marauding blacks looting gun shops.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>They&#8217;re somewhat on-again\/off-again, but when the Onion is on, they&#8217;re <em>dead on<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>They&#8217;re somewhat on-again\/off-again, but when the Onion is on, they&#8217;re _dead on_.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2042],"tags":[6],"class_list":["post-3484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3484"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3484\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}