{"id":3539,"date":"2005-10-18T11:53:42","date_gmt":"2005-10-18T18:53:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/10\/18\/the-vampire-club\/"},"modified":"2019-12-18T16:39:05","modified_gmt":"2019-12-19T00:39:05","slug":"the-vampire-club","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2005\/10\/18\/the-vampire-club\/","title":{"rendered":"The Vampire Club"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:7544,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253Fs%253D143441%2526playListId%253D41978962%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7545,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253Fs%253D143441%2526playListId%253D6928124%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7546,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253Fs%253D143441%2526playListId%253D61793686%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:6168,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.livejournal.com\\\/users\\\/the_vogue&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7547,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D6928096%2526playListId%253D6928124%2526s%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7548,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D6928122%2526playListId%253D6928124%2526s%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7549,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D61793627%2526playListId%253D61793686%2526s%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7550,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D6928112%2526playListId%253D6928124%2526s%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>Since I only had one album by Voltaire (<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253Fs%253D143441%2526playListId%253D41978962%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Voltaire: The Devil's Bris\">The Devil&#8217;s Bris<\/a>), I decided to see if the iTMS had any available, as they&#8217;ve been doing a rather remarkable job of expanding their underground\/goth\/industrial\/anything non-mainstream collections. It turns out they had two others in addition to The Devil&#8217;s Bris: <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253Fs%253D143441%2526playListId%253D6928124%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Voltaire: Boo Hoo\">Boo Hoo<\/a> and <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253Fs%253D143441%2526playListId%253D61793686%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Voltaire: Then and Again\">Then And Again<\/a>, both of which I snagged.<\/p>\n<p>Some of the songs I&#8217;d heard already, either at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.livejournal.com\/users\/the_vogue\/\" title=\"[the_vogue]\"><strong>the_vogue<\/strong><\/a> (<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D6928096%2526playListId%253D6928124%2526s%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Voltaire: Boo Hoo: Future Ex-Girlfriend\">Future Ex-Girlfriend<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D6928122%2526playListId%253D6928124%2526s%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Voltaire: Boo Hoo: Caught a Light Sneeze\">Caught A Light Sneeze<\/a>) or at his show last year (<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D61793627%2526playListId%253D61793686%2526s%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Voltaire: Then and Again: Goodnight Demonslayer\">Goodnight Demonslayer<\/a>, a beautiful lullaby to his son). Others I hadn&#8217;t heard yet, including a new favorite: <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=http%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZStore.woa%252Fwa%252FviewAlbum%253FselectedItemId%253D6928112%2526playListId%253D6928124%2526s%253D143441%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"iTMS: Voltaire: Boo Hoo: The Vampire Club\">The Vampire Club<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n  Oh, the moon was full<br \/>\n  and the color of blood<br \/>\n  the night the pirates came<br \/>\n  to the Vampire Club.<br \/>\n  Their leader was tall and snide and slim &#8212;<br \/>\n  he looked like a gay Captain Morgan.<br \/>\n  Well, he recognized a Vampire<br \/>\n  from his school,<br \/>\n  he did something that was<br \/>\n  most uncool, he said,<br \/>\n  &#8220;Hey everybody, see that fool in the cape?<br \/>\n  His name&#8217;s Bernie Weinstein<br \/>\n  and he&#8217;s in the 8th grade!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  Fangs were flying, capes were torn,<br \/>\n  Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.<br \/>\n  The number one rule in this game:<br \/>\n  never call one by his real name!<br \/>\n  Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed<br \/>\n  by pointy boots in a rush,<br \/>\n  and Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,<br \/>\n  &#8220;It&#8217;s just another night at the Vampire Club.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  Missi lost a fang in the ladies room,<br \/>\n  and we all laughed and called her &#8216;Snaggletooth!&#8217;<br \/>\n  Dee was mad cause he broke his cane,<br \/>\n  and he flushed his contacts down the drain.<br \/>\n  There was so much angst after the fight,<br \/>\n  Vlad and Akasha broke up that night,<br \/>\n  while some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo<br \/>\n  that used to be &#8220;Father&#8221; you-know-who!<\/p>\n<p>  Fangs were flying, capes were torn,<br \/>\n  Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.<br \/>\n  The number one rule in this game:<br \/>\n  never call one by his real name!<br \/>\n  Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed<br \/>\n  by pointy boots in a rush,<br \/>\n  and Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,<br \/>\n  &#8220;It&#8217;s just another night at the Vampire Club.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  Well, it&#8217;s hard to believe but we&#8217;re still around,<br \/>\n  and when we hang out it&#8217;s always upside down.<br \/>\n  Dressed in black from toe to head, singing<br \/>\n  &#8220;Bela Lugosi&#8217;s still undead!&#8221;<br \/>\n  A gaggle of goths is a peaceful sight,<br \/>\n  we&#8217;d do anything to avoid a fight,<br \/>\n  but if you really want to see some gore and blood &#8212;<br \/>\n  wait &#8217;til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club!<\/p>\n<p>  Fangs were flying, capes were torn,<br \/>\n  Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.<br \/>\n  The number one rule in this game:<br \/>\n  never call one by his real name!<br \/>\n  Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed<br \/>\n  by pointy boots in a rush,<br \/>\n  and Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,<br \/>\n  &#8220;It&#8217;s just another night at the Vampire Club.&#8221;\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Since I only had one album by Voltaire (The Devil&#8217;s Bris), I decided to see if the iTMS had any available, as they&#8217;ve been doing a rather remarkable job of expanding their underground\/goth\/industrial\/anything non-mainstream collections. It turns out they had two others in addition to The Devil&#8217;s Bris: Boo Hoo and Then And Again, both of which I snagged.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2035],"tags":[6,80,2366],"class_list":["post-3539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music","tag-humor","tag-music","tag-voltaire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3539"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3539\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}