{"id":3637,"date":"2006-01-04T14:27:55","date_gmt":"2006-01-04T22:27:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2006\/01\/04\/the-future-is-not-what-it-used-to-be\/"},"modified":"2019-12-19T15:59:49","modified_gmt":"2019-12-19T23:59:49","slug":"the-future-is-not-what-it-used-to-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2006\/01\/04\/the-future-is-not-what-it-used-to-be\/","title":{"rendered":"The Future is Not What It Used to Be"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='__iawmlf-post-loop-links' style='display:none;' data-iawmlf-post-links='[{&quot;id&quot;:7188,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.sfsite.com\\\/fsf\\\/2006\\\/pdf0602.htm&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20250522011903\\\/http:\\\/\\\/www.sfsite.com\\\/fsf\\\/2006\\\/pdf0602.htm&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-09 19:27:14&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-09 19:27:14&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:206},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7189,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/www.boingboing.net\\\/2006\\\/01\\\/02\\\/sf_story_internet_co.html&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;https:\\\/\\\/web-wp.archive.org\\\/web\\\/20100602143801\\\/http:\\\/\\\/www.boingboing.net\\\/2006\\\/01\\\/02\\\/sf_story_internet_co.html&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-09 19:27:18&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200}],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:{&quot;date&quot;:&quot;2026-03-09 19:27:18&quot;,&quot;http_code&quot;:200},&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:6221,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/click?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7190,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FartistTerm%253DParallax1%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;},{&quot;id&quot;:7191,&quot;href&quot;:&quot;http:\\\/\\\/click.linksynergy.com\\\/fs-bin\\\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FartistTerm%253DParallax1%2526albumTerm=Parallax1%26partnerId%3D30&quot;,&quot;archived_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;redirect_href&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;checks&quot;:[],&quot;broken&quot;:false,&quot;last_checked&quot;:null,&quot;process&quot;:&quot;done&quot;}]'><\/div>\n<p>A funny short-short story by Paul Di Filippo set in the near future <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sfsite.com\/fsf\/2006\/pdf0602.htm\" title=\"Fantasy and Science Fiction: Plumage from Pegasus: Brother, Can You Spare a Hyperlink?\">after the collapse of the Internet<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\n  I HAD TO run a few errands downtown, but I hesitated to go.<\/p>\n<p>  What if I ran into bloggers?<\/p>\n<p>  Ever since the total, irretrievable collapse of the Internet in a chaos of viruses, worms, spam, terrorism and busts by the FBI anti-porn squad, that archaic species of human had become a bigger street menace than mimes, Jehovah&#8217;s Witnesses, or panhandlers ever were.<\/p>\n<p>  [&#8230;] I had almost gained the security of the lobby of my bank when my luck ran out, and I was accosted with no easy means of escape by a wild-eyed figure.<\/p>\n<p>  Backed into an embrasure by the advancing apparition who had been cleverly lying in wait for prey, I was startled to recognize \u2014 beneath the grime, elf-locked hair, tattered clothing, and unkempt beard \u2014 a man I had known from his earlier life.<\/p>\n<p>  [&#8230;] The recognition was plainly one way. Doctorow&#8217;s crazed eyes betrayed no familiarity with my face. I was only another potential flesh-and-blood &#8220;hit&#8221; for his &#8220;site.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>  Doctorow carried a mud-splattered messenger&#8217;s satchel over one shoulder. From this bag he now removed an old-fashioned wirebound spiral notebook and pen. He made a tick mark on paper, recording my &#8220;visit.&#8221; Then he launched into his spiel.<\/p>\n<p>  &#8220;Welcome to a directory of wonderful things, my friend! Get ready to be amazed, thrilled and astounded! I&#8217;m going to show you stuff you never believed existed, stuff that will brighten your life, enhance your senses and enlighten your consciousness! For instance \u2014 &#8221;\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>(via &#8212; no, no irony here &#8212; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.boingboing.net\/2006\/01\/02\/sf_story_internet_co.html\" title=\"Boing Boing: Sf story: Internet collapses, bloggers become street-people\">Boing Boing<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/click?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0\" title=\"Get iTunes\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"iTunes\" border=\"0\" width=\"61\" height=\"15\" src=\"http:\/\/images.apple.com\/itunesaffiliates\/logos\/iTunes_sm_bdg61x15.png\" \/><\/a><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"http:\/\/ad.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/show?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;bids=78941.10000170&amp;type=4&amp;subid=0\" alt=\"\" \/> &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FartistTerm%253DParallax1%2526songTerm=Future is Not What it Used to Be, The%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"Search for 'Future is Not What it Used to Be, The' on the iTMS\">Future is Not What it Used to Be, The<\/a>&#8221; by <a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FartistTerm%253DParallax1%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"Search for 'Parallax1' on the iTMS\">Parallax1<\/a> from the album <em><a href=\"http:\/\/click.linksynergy.com\/fs-bin\/stat?id=xLsJkztrnNY&amp;offerid=78941&amp;type=3&amp;subid=0&amp;tmpid=1826&amp;RD_PARM1=itms%253A%252F%252Fphobos.apple.com%252FWebObjects%252FMZSearch.woa%252Fwa%252Fcom.apple.jingle.search.DirectAction%252FadvancedSearchResults%253FartistTerm%253DParallax1%2526albumTerm=Parallax1%26partnerId%3D30\" title=\"Search for 'Parallax1' on the iTMS\">Parallax1<\/a><\/em> (1996, 5:46).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever since the total, irretrievable collapse of the Internet in a chaos of viruses, worms, spam, terrorism and busts by the FBI anti-porn squad, [bloggers] had become a bigger street menace than mimes, Jehovah&#8217;s Witnesses, or panhandlers ever were.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2028],"tags":[6,599],"class_list":["post-3637","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-links","tag-humor","tag-weblogs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3637","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3637"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3637\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3637"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3637"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3637"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}