{"id":4194,"date":"2008-04-19T08:07:28","date_gmt":"2008-04-19T15:07:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2008\/04\/19\/the-queens-own-english-base-knave-dost-thou-speak-it\/"},"modified":"2019-12-23T09:26:25","modified_gmt":"2019-12-23T17:26:25","slug":"the-queens-own-english-base-knave-dost-thou-speak-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2008\/04\/19\/the-queens-own-english-base-knave-dost-thou-speak-it\/","title":{"rendered":"The Queen’s own English, base knave, dost thou speak it?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A bit of pseudo-Shakespearean silliness, originally by ceruleanst<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\n ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter a carriage, with JULES and VINCENT, murderers.<\/p>\n

J: And know’st thou what the French name cottage pie?
\n V: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
\n J: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
\n    Are strange to ours, with their own history:
\n    Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
\n V: What say they then, pray?
\n J: Hachis Parmentier.
\n V: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
\n J: Cream is but cream, only they say le cr\u00e8me.
\n V: What do they name black pudding?
\n J: I know not;
\n    I visited no inn it could be bought.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

\n J: My pardon; did I break thy concentration?
\n    Continue! Ah, but now thy tongue is still.
\n    Allow me then to offer a response.
\n    Describe Marsellus Wallace to me, pray.
\n B: What?
\n J: What country dost thou hail from?
\n B: What?
\n J: How passing strange, for I have traveled far,
\n    And never have I heard tell of this What.
\n    What language speak they in the land of What?
\n B: What?
\n J: The Queen’s own English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
\n B: Aye!
\n J: Then hearken to my words and answer them!
\n    Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
\n B: What?
\n JULES presses his knife to BRETT’s throat<\/em>
\n J: Speak ‘What’ again! Thou cur, cry ‘What’ again!
\n    I dare thee utter ‘What’ again but once!
\n    I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
\n    Now, paint for me a portraiture in words,
\n    If thou hast any in thy head but ‘What’,
\n    Of Marsellus Wallace!
\n B: He is dark.
\n J: Aye, and what more?
\n B: His head is shaven bald.
\n J: Has he the semblance of a harlot?
\n B: What?
\n JULES strikes and BRETT cries out<\/em>
\n J: Has he the semblance of a harlot?
\n B: Nay!
\n J: Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
\n B: I did not!
\n J: Aye, thou didst! O, aye, thou didst!
\n    Thou hoped to rape him like a chattel whore,
\n    And sooth, Lord Wallace is displeased to bed
\n    With anyone but she to whom he wed.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(via Boing Boing<\/a><\/em>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A bit of pseudo-Shakespearean silliness, originally by ceruleanst…:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2037],"tags":[23,6,2671],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4194"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4194"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4194\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}