{"id":8259,"date":"2010-01-16T10:32:28","date_gmt":"2010-01-16T18:32:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/?p=8259"},"modified":"2019-12-23T14:54:45","modified_gmt":"2019-12-23T22:54:45","slug":"to-pat-robertson-your-pal-satan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2010\/01\/16\/to-pat-robertson-your-pal-satan\/","title":{"rendered":"To: Pat Robertson. Your Pal, Satan."},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p>\n  Dear Pat Robertson,<\/p>\n<p>  I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I&#8217;m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I&#8217;m no welcher.<\/p>\n<p>  The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth &#8212; glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven&#8217;t you seen &#8220;Crossroads&#8221;? Or &#8220;Damn Yankees&#8221;? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there&#8217;d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox &#8212; that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it &#8212; I&#8217;m just saying: Not how I roll.<\/p>\n<p>  You&#8217;re doing great work, Pat, and I don&#8217;t want to clip your wings &#8212; just, come on, you&#8217;re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That&#8217;s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.<\/p>\n<p>  Best,<\/p>\n<p>  Satan\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Written by Lily Coyle of Minneapolis, first printed as a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.startribune.com\/opinion\/letters\/81595442.html\" title=\"Star Tribune: Letter of the day: Haiti suffers, and Robertson sees the hand of Satan\">Letter to the Editor in the Star Tribune<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I&#8217;m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I&#8217;m no welcher.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2042],"tags":[6,14,103],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8259"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8259"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8259\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}