{"id":9273,"date":"2011-11-22T13:39:38","date_gmt":"2011-11-22T21:39:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/?p=9273"},"modified":"2019-12-23T15:48:29","modified_gmt":"2019-12-23T23:48:29","slug":"essentially","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/2011\/11\/22\/essentially\/","title":{"rendered":"Essentially"},"content":{"rendered":"

Part 1: The Event<\/h2>\n

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Part 2: The Spin<\/h2>\n

Gawker: ‘It’s a Food Product, Essentially’: Fox News Starts Spinning Pepper Spray Cops<\/a><\/p>\n

\n “I don’t think we have the right to Monday-morning quarterback the police,” O’Reilly says, “particularly at a place like UC Davis, which is a fairly liberal campus.” God forbid! We’d never want to question Lt. John Pike’s decision to generously and indifferently dust peacefully sitting protesters with pepper spray from only a few feet away. Especially given that Davis is, you know, a liberal campus! And, gosh, even if we were going to Monday-morning quarterback the police, shouldn’t we remember, as Megyn Kelly tells O’Reilly, that pepper spray is “a food product, essentially”?\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Part 3: The Science<\/h2>\n

Scientific American: About Pepper Spray<\/a><\/p>\n

\n …commercial grade pepper spray leaves even the most painful of natural peppers (the Himalayan ghost pepper) far behind. It\u2019s listed at between 2 million and 5.3 million Scoville units. The lower number refers to the kind of pepper spray that you and I might be able to purchase for self-protective uses. And the higher number? It\u2019s the kind of spray that police use, the super-high dose given in the orange-colored spray used at UC-Davis.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Part 4: The Humor<\/h2>\n

Product Reviews<\/h3>\n

Amazon: Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band\/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray<\/a><\/p>\n

\n Accept no substitutes when casually repressing students<\/a>: Whenever I need to breezily inflict discipline on unruly citizens, I know I can trust Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band\/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray to get the job done! The power of reason is no match for Defense Technology’s superior repression power. When I reach for my can of Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band\/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray, I know that even the mighty First Amendment doesn’t stand a chance against its many scovil units of civil rights suppression.<\/p>\n

More than just pepper spray!!!<\/a>: First, this baby has everything you would expect from Defense Technology brand pepper spray. It burns like hell. Whether you’re spraying directly into eyes or mouths – this will cause excruciating pain.<\/p>\n

Second, and I know it’s not explicitly listed as one the uses on the can, but it’s also an amazing human arm de-linker. So if you have this gigantic public space and a dozen people are sitting there with their arms linked – this will really help in your effort to de-link those arms.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

#MegynKellyEssentials<\/h3>\n

The #MegynKellyEssentials<\/a> tag is worth watching on Twitter. It seems to have grown out of the comments to the Gawker post<\/a> linked above. Some choice bits snagged from the Gawker comments:<\/p>\n

\n Megyn Kelly on fire hoses: “It\u2019s a sports beverage, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on rubber bullets: “It\u2019s a pencil eraser, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on hand grenades: “It\u2019s a Fourth of July firework, essentially! God bless America.”
\n Megyn Kelly on nightsticks: “It’s an olive branch, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on waterboarding: “It’s a Neti Pot, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on genital mutilation: “It’s a Brazilian wax, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on zip-tie handcuffs: “It’s a Livestrong bracelet, essentially.”
\n Megyn Kelly on HIV: “It’s a common cold, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on the rack: “It’s a chiropractor, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on mustard gas: “It’s a hot dog condiment, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on nuclear weapons: “It’s a microwave dinner, essentially!”
\n Megyn Kelly on sound weapons: “It’s a boom box, essentially!”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Commentary on reactions to the UC Davis pepper-spray incident, in four parts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[2042],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9273"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9273"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9273\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9273"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9273"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelhans.com\/eclecticism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9273"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}