This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on November 14, 2001). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.
If any of you kind souls out there who check this page (yes…all five of you) could find it within your heart to do so, I’ve found my perfect Christmas grovel.
I know it’s a bit pricey. That’s why I’m grovelling. Really grovelling. I’m actually on my knees right now. It’s a little hard to type, but it’s worth it. As an added bonus, if I get this from someone, I’ll pay to have one of your shoes shipped down here and I’ll plant a big ol’ sloppy kiss on it — close as I can get to kissing your feet — then ship it back. Really.
Please?