Just what I always wanted!

This is so, so, so, so not on my Christmas Wish List:

Amuse your conservative friends and annoy your liberal neighbors with the brand new Ann Coulter Talking Action Figure. This incredibly lifelike action figure looks just like the beautiful Ann Coulter, and best of all . . . it sounds like Ann, too!

[…]

This highly collectible doll comes in a display box with information highlighting Ann’s unique contributions to America’s political discourse. If you can’t get enough Ann Coulter, you’ll want to order the Ann Coulter Talking Action Figure today!

At first I thought this was a joke or a prank or something, especially given the quotes that are apparently programmed into the doll (“Liberals hate America, they hate flag-wavers, they hate abortion opponents, they hate all religions except Islam, post 9/11. Even Islamic terrorists don’t hate America like Liberals do. They don’t have the energy. If they had that much energy, they’d have indoor plumbing by now.”), but as far as I can tell, this is completely serious.

There is an entire series of “Talking Presidents” action figures available on this website that all have included quotes that seem to be meant to honor the person in question, including George W. Bush (“Freedom itself was attacked by faceless cowards, and freedom will be defended.”), George H. W. Bush (“I don’t see how you can be President if you didn’t believe in a being greater than yourself. I don’t see how you get the strength that you need at quiet moments, the tough moments.”), and Dennis Miller (“The only way we were going to get the French to go into Iraq was to tell them we thought there were truffles in there.”). There’s even one for Donald Rumsfeld (“The only choice one has is to proceed and use coercion.”), which I find at least as disturbing as the Ann Coulter action figure. The most obvious exception is the action figure for Bill Clinton (“I experimented with marijuana a time or two and didn’t like it, and didn’t inhale and never tried it again.”).

Truly bizarre. I guess you want to keep everyone happy over the Christmas season, right?

(via the usual suspects)