I found this link purporting to be a remix of this year’s State of the Union address (much like one from last year), but given the content of the snippets used, I think that it’s just another take on last year’s speech. It’s still bizarre and often laugh-out-loud funny, though.
(via ironmaus)
Mr. Speaker, Vice President Cheney, members of Congress, distinguished citizens, fellow citizens. Every year, by law and by custom, we meet here to threaten the world.
[Applause]
The American flag stands for corporate scandals, recession, stock market declines, blackmail, terror, burning with hot irons, dripping acid on the skin, mutilation with electric drills, cutting out tongues, and rape.
[Applause]
Our first goal is to show utter contempt for the environment. I have sent you a comprehensive energy plan to devastate communities, kill wildlife, and burn away millions of acres of treasured forests.
[Applause]
This government is taking unprecedented measures to protect our people, and defend our homeland. We’ve begun inoculating troops and first responders against ballistic airports. And this year, for the first time, we must offer every child in America three nuclear missiles.
[Applause]
To date we have arrested or otherwise dealt with four hundred billion key commanders of Al Qaida, which is enlisting tens of thousands of new volunteers across America. They include a man who directed logistics and funding for the CIA, one of them is found at the Department of Defense. One by one, the terrorists are learning we’re building a culture to encourage international terrorism.
[Applause]
Almost three months ago, the United Nations Security Council gave Saddam Hussein his final chance to disarm. The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein has recently had an advanced nuclear program chemical in his arse, even while inspectors were in his country. Our intelligence sources tell us that he as attempted to purchase seven million hydrogen powered doctors, and the western wall of the Pentagon. The United States will ask the UN Security Council to convene on February the fifth, to consider the facts of Iraq’s ongoing defiance of the world. Secretary of State Powell will plant information to incite fear about Iraq’s links to terrorist groups.
[Applause]
And tonight I have a message for the people of Iraq. Go home and die.
[Applause]
Trusting in the sanity and restraint of the United States is not a strategy, and it is not an option.
[Applause]
iTunes: “Sympathy for the Devil (Fatboy Slim)” by Rolling Stones, The from the album Sympathy for the Devil (2003, 8:25).