Troy in 15 Minutes

This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on May 20, 2004). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

Too, too funny: Troy in Fifteen Minutes.

Some Battlefield

AGAMEMNON: Look, there’s no reason for me to slaughter thousands of your men. You pick out your best soldier, and I pick out mine.

KING OF THESSALY: Deal. [turns to his army] SOME GUYYYYY!

THESSALIAN ARMY: SOME! GUY! SOME! GUY! SOME! GUY!

Some Guy breaks through the crowd. His neck resembles an Easter ham and his spear is the size of a telephone pole.

SOME GUY: RAAAAAAAAA!

AGAMEMNON [turning to his army]: ACHILLEEEEEES!

GREEK ARMY: . . .

AGAMEMNON: . . .

Hut of Wanton Nudity, Some Village

BOY: OMG Achilles you’re late you gotta get up Achilles OMG!

ACHILLES: Dude, I just nailed twins. Call me in the morning.

(via Boing Boing)

iTunes: “Dreamers” by Music Makers, The from the album Junior Vasquez, Vol. 2 (1998, 8:29).