The Vampire Club

Since I only had one album by Voltaire (The Devil’s Bris), I decided to see if the iTMS had any available, as they’ve been doing a rather remarkable job of expanding their underground/goth/industrial/anything non-mainstream collections. It turns out they had two others in addition to The Devil’s Bris: Boo Hoo and Then And Again, both of which I snagged.

Some of the songs I’d heard already, either at the_vogue (Future Ex-Girlfriend, Caught A Light Sneeze) or at his show last year (Goodnight Demonslayer, a beautiful lullaby to his son). Others I hadn’t heard yet, including a new favorite: The Vampire Club.

Oh, the moon was full
and the color of blood
the night the pirates came
to the Vampire Club.
Their leader was tall and snide and slim —
he looked like a gay Captain Morgan.
Well, he recognized a Vampire
from his school,
he did something that was
most uncool, he said,
“Hey everybody, see that fool in the cape?
His name’s Bernie Weinstein
and he’s in the 8th grade!”

Fangs were flying, capes were torn,
Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.
The number one rule in this game:
never call one by his real name!
Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
by pointy boots in a rush,
and Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,
“It’s just another night at the Vampire Club.”

Missi lost a fang in the ladies room,
and we all laughed and called her ‘Snaggletooth!’
Dee was mad cause he broke his cane,
and he flushed his contacts down the drain.
There was so much angst after the fight,
Vlad and Akasha broke up that night,
while some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo
that used to be “Father” you-know-who!

Fangs were flying, capes were torn,
Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.
The number one rule in this game:
never call one by his real name!
Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
by pointy boots in a rush,
and Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,
“It’s just another night at the Vampire Club.”

Well, it’s hard to believe but we’re still around,
and when we hang out it’s always upside down.
Dressed in black from toe to head, singing
“Bela Lugosi’s still undead!”
A gaggle of goths is a peaceful sight,
we’d do anything to avoid a fight,
but if you really want to see some gore and blood —
wait ’til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club!

Fangs were flying, capes were torn,
Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned.
The number one rule in this game:
never call one by his real name!
Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed
by pointy boots in a rush,
and Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,
“It’s just another night at the Vampire Club.”