The Future is Not What It Used to Be

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This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on January 4, 2006). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

A funny short-short story by Paul Di Filippo set in the near future after the collapse of the Internet:

I HAD TO run a few errands downtown, but I hesitated to go.

What if I ran into bloggers?

Ever since the total, irretrievable collapse of the Internet in a chaos of viruses, worms, spam, terrorism and busts by the FBI anti-porn squad, that archaic species of human had become a bigger street menace than mimes, Jehovah’s Witnesses, or panhandlers ever were.

[…] I had almost gained the security of the lobby of my bank when my luck ran out, and I was accosted with no easy means of escape by a wild-eyed figure.

Backed into an embrasure by the advancing apparition who had been cleverly lying in wait for prey, I was startled to recognize — beneath the grime, elf-locked hair, tattered clothing, and unkempt beard — a man I had known from his earlier life.

[…] The recognition was plainly one way. Doctorow’s crazed eyes betrayed no familiarity with my face. I was only another potential flesh-and-blood “hit” for his “site.”

Doctorow carried a mud-splattered messenger’s satchel over one shoulder. From this bag he now removed an old-fashioned wirebound spiral notebook and pen. He made a tick mark on paper, recording my “visit.” Then he launched into his spiel.

“Welcome to a directory of wonderful things, my friend! Get ready to be amazed, thrilled and astounded! I’m going to show you stuff you never believed existed, stuff that will brighten your life, enhance your senses and enlighten your consciousness! For instance — ”

(via — no, no irony here — Boing Boing)

iTunes “Future is Not What it Used to Be, The” by Parallax1 from the album Parallax1 (1996, 5:46).

3 thoughts on “The Future is Not What It Used to Be”

  1. Well, that’s fun. Boing boing finds some good stuff.

    I have a question for you. I’ve been to your site, say, half a dozen times. I have been to http://www.micheleagnew.com hundreds of times but each time I clear my history or retart the computer, as I type http://www.m it autofills your address and never no matter how far I type her address our, fills in hers. Why?

  2. My guess is that it’s simply because I’m first alphabetically (micha vs. miche). Outside of that, I can’t think of anything. Maybe your computer just really likes my site? ;)

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