Can’t keep all the various options or points of view on Seattle’s ongoing “what do we do about the Viaduct” battle straight? Here’s a handy-dandy guide to the various species involved, thanks to SLOG reader ‘Golob’.
SLOG Field Guide to Seattle Viaduct Debate
Roadus Retrofittus
Description: A curmudgeon who believes the AWV is absolutely critical, perhaps because of an ill advised decision in the past to move to West Seattle. Wants things to stay just they way they are. Possibly considers the Viaduct a work of art—like the leaning tower of Pisa — worthy of preservation in its current form.
Patron Saint: Peter Sherwin
Typical Post: “But not an issue if we just fix what we’ve got and build surface and transit for the future.”
Prevalence: At least 1 -12 comments per post.
Key Fact(s) Ignored:
- The necessary seawall repairs.
- Even if the structure is retrofitted above ground it’ll probably tip over during the next earthquake.
- It’ll cost billions.
Secret Hope: That everything in Seattle can stay exactly as it is and that all the newcomers can be scared off.
Roadus Rebuilus
Description: Believes that the AWV is absolutely essential, most likely due to an ill-advised decision to move to West Seattle. Considers using transit to get to and from work a fever dream of Kool-aid drinking cultists.
Other subspecies is a resentful non-Seattleite dealing with feelings of inferiority. Wants nothing else than to stick Seattle with a horrific monstrosity.
Patron Saint: Christine Gregoire
Typical Post: “You hippies! Without the Viaduct, cats and dogs will live together, frogs will rain from the sky, and my commute from West Seattle to Downtown could take as long as 20 minutes!
“Yes, so San Fransisco, New York, Milwaukee [other major urban area] has ripped down their viaduct and survived. Seattle is completely different from any other major urban area…”
Prevalence: 3-6 comments per post
Key Fact(s) Ignored:
- No empiric proof that Seattle needs a double-decker urban highway through downtown to function.
- Every other urban area, large and small, that has ripped down viaducts and survived.
- A new viaduct will have no views, be twice as wide and be finished right about the time gas hits $6 a gallon.
Secret Hope: That everything can stay exactly the same for all eternity and that all the newcomers to Seattle get fed up and leave.
Roadus Tunnelus
Description: Want to keep their private driveway from West Seattle to Downtown, but also make everyone else happy.
Patron Saint: Mayor Greg Nickels.
Typical Post: “This is nothing like the Big Dig.”
Prevalence: A dying species. At most one comment per post.
Key Fact(s) Ignored:
- $4-8 billion before cost overruns.
- Digging in brackish landfill at possible archaeological sites might prove problematic.
- Tunnel ends at Pike Place Market and leaves Queen Anne and SLU cut off from one another.
Secret Hope: That money grows on trees or Seattle voters are that gullible.
Roadus Bridgus
Description: Possibly has visited SF or NYC, and seen bridges. Willing to at least consider that some people need to drive, and a North-South bypass route could unload some traffic from downtown and the waterfront.
Patron Saint: Jensen Inspector
Typical Post: “The idea is to reclaim the land for parks, homes, business and transit, and NOT to completely surrender it to motor vehicles. This can only be realized by designing and building a cable stayed bay bridge.”
Prevalence: 1-2 comments per Post
Key Fact(s) Ignored:
- The Port of Seattle and Boeing Field
- Idiocy of local politicians.
Secret Hope: That WSDOT and the city can get their heads out of their asses long enough to at least seriously consider this compromise solution.
Trasitus Surfusus
Description: Most likely a newcomer to Seattle. Has at least visited places like New York, Boston, Chicago, or San Francisco and used public transit. Possible has grown up in some urban shithole — Detroit, LA, or Houston for example — with a fantastic freeway system. May commute by walking, cycling or busing.
Patron Saint: ECB or Ron Sims
Typical Post: “The damn thing is going to be gone for a decade during construction and we’re all going to adjust. Why not just rip it down and spend the money on expanding light rail to places like Ballard, West Seattle, and points more distant? It’s worked in _____ {some other urban area}.”
Prevalence: Generally the original post + 3-6 comments.
Key Fact(s) Ignored:
- Idiocy of local politicians.
- WSDOT is a highway building department
- Washington State Constitution forbids spending of gas tax dollars on transit.
Secret Hope: To live in Manhattan but with mountains — rather than New Jersey — next door.
Off topicus
Description: Has some other topic they really really want to talk about rather than the viaduct.
Patron Saint: Uhh.
Typical Post: “Darfur! People are dying in Darfur RIGHT NOW.”
“Slack jawed yokels are going to drive in circles on the Kitsap peninsula thanks to YOUR lawmakers!”
Prevalence: 0 – 12 comments per post.
Key Fact(s) Ignored:
- Uhhh, the Viaduct decision is coming up soon.
Secret Hope: To get a post on Darfur or Nascar…
Realist Defeatus
Description: Take Trasitus Surfusus and add 10 – 20 years experience with Seattle-area political process.
Patron Saint: Fnarf
Typical Post: “OF COURSE transit would be better, but…”
Prevalence: 0 -2 comments per post.
Key Fact(s) Ignored:
- None.
Secret Hope: That local politicians suddenly show intelligence.