Links

Stuff I find around the web that interests or amuses me.

Jesus with a riding crop and a rainbow flag

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Just on the off chance you hadn’t heard yet, Canada earlier this week decided to recognize gay marriages.

SFGate columnist Mark Morford has a wonderful commentary that is well worth reading all of.

“I don’t really know what this means, what it represents, what it entails, what gay people stand for, where they come from or what they do or why they do it or how they become that way in the first place or even if they’re allowed to vote or fly in airplanes,” announced a very trembly George W. Bush at a hastily arranged press conference in the Super Mega Hetero Gun Room of the White House.

“But I do know we won’t stand for it, and if these gul-dang furriner evildoers think they can get away with these kinds of tender unions and hand holdings and loving smiles and beautiful intimate commitments, well, they haven’t seen America’s righteous firepower!” he shouted, pounding his cute little fist on the podium. “We shall prevail!” Then he fainted.

[…]

Already, America’s perspective has been affected. In a shocking new poll, fully 41 percent of Americans now believe the terrorists responsible for the 9/11 tragedy were, in fact, gay married Canadians.

Similarly, 23 percent are now convinced Saddam Hussein was either “somewhat” or “almost totally” Canadian. Or gay. Or a member of Loverboy.

[…]

Meanwhile, the rest of the largely benevolent and open-hearted and divinely attuned polyamorous universe just laughed and nodded very, very approvingly at Canada and said, well Jesus with a riding crop and a rainbow flag, it’s about goddamn time, you know?

(via Len)

Russian to English?

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Can anyone out there give me a better translation of this page (a Russian-language LiveJournal that links to a post of mine) than Babelfish’s translation?

I’d kind of like to know what the discussion is about, but Babelfish’s translation leaves a bit to be desired.

The wind brings down snow and howls after the window.The transformation of America into the scoop is accompanied by sharp climate variation.So it must be.

Viagra gum?

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Here’s a bizarre little story that one of my co-workers just told me about: Wrigley patents anti-impotence gum:

Wm. Wrigley Jr., maker of Juicy Fruit, Big Red and Doublemint gums, is expanding its definition of “doubling your pleasure.” The Chicago gum company has been granted a U.S. government patent to develop a gum that contains a dose of the generic chemical in Viagra.

\Won’t this gum be hard to chew once your tongue swells up and stiffens inside your mouth? I’d guess it’ll sell quite well at lesbian bars, though….\</obligatory stupid jokes>

(via Tim)

Update: Comments have been closed for this entry, as I got tired of deleting constant spam comment links. This post is not an open invitation for Viagra or Phenteremine spam. Go the fuck away.

The greatest American is…

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In preparation for a show airing next week entitled ‘What the World Thinks of America,’ the BBC took nominations for the ten greatest Americans of all time. Nominations have closed, and now it’s time to vote!

So, out of a completely open playing field, what ten people were nominated as the ten greatest Americans ever?

Bill Clinton, Bob Dylan, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Homer Simpson, Mr. T, and George Washington.

Homer Simpson? Mr. T?

And, while this is kind of amusing, it’s also kind of disturbing — the current standings, after 28,548 votes:

  • Bill Clinton (3.53%)
  • Franklin D Roosevelt (3.78%)
  • Benjamin Franklin (4.07%)
  • George Washington (4.62%)
  • Bob Dylan (5.12%)
  • Thomas Jefferson (5.72%)
  • Mr. T (8.17%)
  • Martin Luther King Jr. (9.08%)
  • Abraham Lincoln (9.60%)
  • Homer Simpson (46.33%)

For the record, I voted for Martin Luther King, Jr.

(via Prairie)

Update: The website for the show (linked above) looks very interesting too. It includes a short 10-question quiz about America — that I got a whopping 60% on. Ouch. Maybe I need to watch the show, too…

But what about the kittens?

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Royce sent me a link to this page about kittens today, saying that it reminded him of us.

What follows is a dramatization. It is based on a very, very true story of two modern maniacs discussing the implications of God killing kittens, and deciding, logically, how to protect themselves in the event of a kitten apocalypse. Logic, of course, can be skewed terribly when your premise is a theory based on the Lord being a female kitten…

Y’know, I think he’s right!

Who's who in the blogging world

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A simple guide to the A-list bloggers is a wonderful tongue-in-cheek introduction to the “big names” of weblogging. Choice quotes from the ones I read:

Dave Winer: “In the beginning was the Blog, and the Blog was with Dave, and the Blog was God. The same was in the beginning with Dave. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness (everyone but Dave) comprehended it not.”

Doc Searls: This new meme here, that new meme there. Here’s some pointage to back and forth between this person and that person on this issue. DIY Journalism. The powers of Big Media have been forever broken!! Power to the People. Linux rules! Linux makes a great hamburger topping. Blogs, there is no us and them. It?s all us. Weblogs are the highest form of audience content. Weblogs are the highest form of evolutionary development. Printwash, Searlsowash, but NOT Googlewash, no no. Google is God. If not on Google it doesn’t count.

Ben and Mena: We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. We are cute. Blogs rule. Moveable Type rules. We are cute. We are cute.

Anil Dash: You can’t ignore wheat. Links. Weird Links. Cool Links. Links about Links. Links. More Links. Index of Links. Link Indexes of Link Indexes Indexed. Ben and Mena inside gossip. Moveable Type. Radio sucks! Dave Winer is a smushed toad. Winer is a Whiner. I work in Marketing. Moveable Type! Journalists are the Devil, they only ever rewrite Press Releases. Just who do they think they are anyways? Bah Humbug! Bloggers are the future.

Robert Scoble: I am nice, reasonable, normal smart type, not always given to the usual Blog Groupthink. I am not like all those other Bloggers. So why I am a Blogger? I am just gaming this meme. Link to friends. Link to more friends. Link to other friends. Link to these friends. Link to more friends. Link to my boss, he’s way way cool. Hey, didyah know, I used to work for Radio Userland. And I used to plan Tech Conferences, I know every Geek in the world! They all like me.

Cory Doctorow: Check out the guest blogger! We bagged Dvorak! Blogs have power! Guess old John C. knows old media is DOOMED. “Amazzzing Graccce, I onccce wasss blllinnnnddd butttt noooowww I seeeeeeeeee…” Whooooo! My first novel is out! I love me. I write weirdly chaotic makes-no-sense Sci-Fi stories about a not-to-distant future, or maybe the future is now. But since it is all Sci-Fi I get away with all this random un-defragged sheer-chaos. Look at me! I write Sci-Fi. I won all these awards! I won the John W. Campbell Award! Yeah yeah yeahhhh! I am special! I like Disney!

(via Robert Scoble and Dave Winer)

Episcopal Church elects first gay bishop

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Excellent news this morning — the New Hampshire Episcopal Church has elected the nations first openly gay bishop!

The selection of the Rev. V. Gene Robinson, 56, who was chosen over three other candidates in voting by New Hampshire clergy and lay Episcopalians, is still subject to confirmation next month by the church’s national General Convention.

The confirmation is likely to be a heated battle with international implications. Robinson drew opposition from many in the Anglican community worldwide.

After the election, Robinson told his supporters to be gentle with those who disagreed with their decision.

“We will show the world how to be a Christian community,” he said. “I plan to be a good bishop, not a gay bishop.”

This is wonderful to hear, and makes me quite glad to have been brought up as part of the Episcopal Church. Many congratulations to Bishop-elect Robinson!

(via D)