Ultraviolet

Milla Jovovich’s latest film, which I babbled about a couple weeks ago, has opened without advance review screenings (never a good sign). Now that a reviewer has been able to see it…looks like this one is going to be a renter.

Another Friday, another abominable movie that wasn’t screened for critics before it opens.

…it’s called “Ultraviolet.” […] It is overstyled, deafening and incoherent.

Violet…brawls with government thugs, twists and flips through the air in slow motion — something we’ve all seen so many times before — dodges bullets and fires off untold amounts of her own. Watching scene after scene of her taking on dozens of men at once, with techno music pounding in the background, quickly becomes repetitive. It’s also dreadfully self-serious, with none of the self-knowing sense of humor that made similar sequences in the “Kill Bill” movies so much more fun.

“Ultraviolet” wants desperately to be a provocative, high-concept action thriller. It apparently is trying to say something about fear and terrorism, paranoia and racism. But it looks more like a shampoo commercial.

Can’t say that I’m surprised, though it’s a bit of a bummer. The trailer looked quite pretty…but apparently, that’s about all that Ultraviolet has going for it.

I’ll still probably rent it, though. C’mon — Milla kicking butt can’t be all bad, right? ;)

“Mercury and Solace” by BT from the album Movement in Still Life (2000, 5:06).

I’m trying to figure out what this movie‘s about, or why it’s been made. I can only come up with a few possibilities:

• Kate Beckinsale‘s roles as Selene in Underworld and Underworld: Evolution have upped the ante for the “Dangerous Hot Girl in Tight Outfits” category (which Kate herself took over from Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity in the Matrix trilogy).
• Underworld and Underworld: Evolution, while pretty, were so dark it was hard to see much of the eye candy.
• Charlize Theron‘s big screen translation of Aeon Flux appears to have bombed (plus, she lost her chance to take the “DHGiTO” crown when she got squeamish and wouldn’t wear Aeon Flux’s real outfits).
• Someone really wanted to attempt to update the über-flashy Matrix fight scenes.
• Milla Jovovich has, in the past, proved herself as a serious contender for the “DHGiTO” crown (specifically, as Leeloo in The Fifth Element).

So: Leeloo + Trinity + Selene = Violet?

Or, to put it another way: Milla Jovovich + tight outfits + promising effects + promising action = my ass is in the theatre. ;)

(Random, only semi-related trivia: In The Fifth Element, Leeloo’s full name is Leelouminai Lakatari Bali Minouchai Ekbat de Sabat [the spelling may not be precise, but I’ve done my best]. I actually took the time to learn that, so that at any given moment, I can let Leeloo’s full name come rolling off my tongue. Why? Why not?)