I want a Klein Bottle kitty

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This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on July 25, 2001). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

People never fail to amuse and amaze me. I got an e-mail today that was (yet another) internet-based petition. I’m sure you’ve all gotten them before — they’re rapidly becoming the most popular of the variants of spam (see sense 5) floating around these days.

This particular one was railing about cruelty to animals, cats in particular. Here’s the gist of it:

In New York there is a Japanese [sic] who sells ‘bonsai-kittens.’ Sounds like fun huh? NOT! These animals are squeezed into a bottle. Their urine and feces are removed through probes. They feed them with a kind of tube. They feed them chemicals to keep their bones soft and flexible so the kittens grow into the shape of the bottle. The animals will stay there as long as they live. They can’t walk or move or wash themselves. Bonsai-kittens are becoming a fashion in New York and Asia. See this horror at: www.bonsaikitten.com Please sign this email in protest against these tortures. If you receive an email with over 500 names, please send a copy to: [edited]. From there this protest will be sent to USA and Mexican animal protection organizations.

My first question — did anyone actually look at this site before signing the petition? I’m not sure what gets to me more — that anyone could actually take this site seriously, or that by the time I got the petition, there were 239 names on it, and who knows how long it’s been circulating around the ‘net? Okay, sure, so the site doesn’t have a disclaimer anywhere on it…but does it really need one? I mean, come on…I started going through it, and I almost fell off my chair here because I was laughing so hard. So maybe I’ve got something of a sick sense of humor — that’s fine with me.

Another question — why in the world would the petition be sent to animal-protection agencies in the US and Mexico? That just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, as the information given states that this ‘business’ is run by “a Japanese” (person) in New York.

Ah, well. I think it’s funny. So there. Bleah. :)

Here’s some other sites that may be of interest to cat lovers, cat haters, or cat humor afficianados: Cat-Scan, Pet Mummification, Live Nude Cats!, Stop Kitty Porn, Dancing With Cats, and Cat Dynamics — Cat Technology Specialists.

22 thoughts on “I want a Klein Bottle kitty”

  1. I think it is cruel and inhuman to do something like that! I’ve never seen something so terrible in my life. I am

  2. We are against every bad experiments on cats or any animal. I am frustrated and mad because this is outrageous. To the cat killers out there, think about it. Would you like it if we put you in a bottle! No! you wouldn’t like it! We are cat lovers and we won’t let this happen!

  4. u r fukin sick people if you want one of these bottled kittens because now you are funding their disturbing business. You shouldn’t want one imagine what pain the poor little kittens have to go through growing inside a box!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. If you fuckin people think that is funny then I would LOVE to shove you in a flippen bottle and leave you there untill you die and burn in hell. For goodness sake, hasn’t anyone stopped these bastards yet? For you people that think this is funny, why don’t you IM me dragonstar1336 — hopefully one of you ignorant people will try me…damn. People are outrageous.

  6. hi my name is Angela Paul and i am from Gander, NL and personally i think want you are doing is vewry mean and crual and i think you should put a stop to what you are doing.. I maen what is that point is putting a poor little kitten in a bottle with NO food and NO WATER? THANKS YOU FOR YOUR TIME

    P.S YOU GUYS ARE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY MEAN

  8. It fascinates me that your posting in 2001 started receiving responses in 2004 and another spate of them in the tail end of 2005. I guess this is some kind of immortality.

  9. Heh — I’m always quite amused when an old post (especially one as silly as this) suddenly starts generating responses…even more so when the people responding seem to have completely failed to comprehend my original post, where I talk about this ‘bonsai kitten’ site being a hoax!

    Ah, well…at least it’s amusing. ;)

  11. I find this thing gross and i would want to put all the people that do this in jail because it is so fucking rude

  12. Wow, same thing has happened to me – I left a comment on my own site linking to BonsaiKitten.com a year and a half ago, and every few months I get a furious comment about the site. Sheesh. Google it and snopes comes up #2, which should tell you something.

    I found this site by googling Bonsai Kitten to look for my own site, since it seems to be showing up a lot (no luck yet, though).

  13. i think this stuff that u people are doing is wrong!!!!
    it is animal cruelty in my book!! i would never be able to do shit like that to my kitten, u people are fuked up

  14. This Kitten thing is wrong and all those bitches that are doing that to the poor little things know that! I’d like to see them in action so I can STRANGLE them!

  16. You peoople are sick…i dont know if this is real or not but even if its not real…its a SICK joke…i hope yall feel good for making everyone hate you…do you see a single GOOD comment on here? i dont think so….take that as a hint and go fuck yourselfs…

  19. ALL THE SICK AND TWISTED PEOPLE WHO BUY THOSE CATS. :'( ITS SO SAD.
    FUCK THE MAN WHO DOES IT HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF.
    STUPID JAPANESE FREAK GO TO HELL WHERE HE CAN GET PUSHED INTO SMALL BOTTLES

  20. oi u spaztacated chickens i h8 you so fuck off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u car do it to ppl bigga thn u so y do it 2 lil kittens u bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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