This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on October 30, 2001). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.
This got handed to me at work a while back. I’m no expert on haiku, so I can’t gaurantee that these all follow the rules as far as syllables and such…but I thought they were hilarious.
Oh, and by the way, just in case you’ve not yet heard the term ‘mullet’, just let Mullet Lovers fill you in.
| Shampoo stings my eyes, I will never feel that twice: slick hair smells like gas |
O! SQUIRREL brother, Your tail, my hair We are one Yet I must eat you |
| I liked that foreign legion movie so much, I grew me one them hats |
Brown edged tank top sticks to my white clumpy armpits Somehow I get laid |
| Flowing down the back helps to keep mind closed, hate released by short top |
My hair: slammin like Stone Cold Can I get a Hell yeah? Hell yeah Hell yeah |
| This super cool hair and a bucket of chicken: What more could I want? |
Lynyrd Skynyrd didn’t win no spelling bees Who cares? They rock the trailer |
| Metallica is for first graders Nothing rocks harder than Winger |
Dogs urinate where they so choose And so do I Red and blue lights flash |
| Short like your schooling Long like your prison sentence The penal haircut |
With long hair in place How else can I rebel? Hand me the bong uncle |
| Under the Christmas tree Tight black jeans and a comb I’ve been extra good |
New white tank top tucks Neatly into tight black jeans Redneck romeo |
| Short for dad Long for the daughter mom always wanted Everyone’s happy |
You smoke me up and jerk me off You are the best And I love you, sis |
| Ponytails are for wimps But if you let that hair loose You are my brother |
Razor set to one Do front and sides and then stop Reaffirm my style |
| Teen runaway I hate my dad. Yet I am one Fly, thunderbird, fly |
Bald on the top and long on the back Behold my glorious skullet |
| My mullet and me like to climb up a tree We’re the best friends that could be |
Dad likes my Mullet The nurse calls it a critter carpet My head breeds |