I just found the Blogger’s Manifesto through a link on Doc’s blog. As one of the many people across the ‘net who are blogging, it’s both interesting and amusing — however, for various reasons, I don’t think I’ll be adopting it.
I hereby solemnly swear to you, the reader, that I will never use this website to make myself look more interesting than I actually am.
At times, I wonder if this website doesn’t do more to make me less interesting than I really am! While I’m told I’ve got a fairly engaging personality and can comport myself fairly well the majority of the time in person, I’ve never been too sure how much of that carrys over well into the written form. I do my best, of course, but is my rambling really that interesting?
I am not a filter for Metafilter. I am not more spiffy than Drew from Fark. I am not deeper than the Memepool. I am not bouncier than Boing Boing. Stealing from them shows that I can’t find anything new on the internet.
If any of my links are also in the Daypop Top 40, that does not prove that I have my ‘finger on the pulse’. It means that I am two days behind.
Okay, sure, I’m kind of guilty here — many of my Linkbits come from three of the four mentioned sites (specifically, MeFi, Boing Boing, and DayPop). The only excuse I can give for that is that I don’t have the time to crawl the web for the gems that they produce, and I’ve got a small enough readership that there’s a good chance that they haven’t become regular visitors of those sites also. At least I try to remember to give credit where credit is due, and don’t merely blatantly rip off the links.
I will not link to anyone cooler than me unless I send them something they use, or they link to me first.
Heck, on the ‘net, everyone is potentially cooler than me — and if we judge by regular readership, they all are. Why shouldn’t I link to them? Chances of them linking to me are, let’s face it, slim to none.
Having a website is not a chat-up line.
True. That’s why I tend to hang out in Yahoo! Chat too much.
There are reasons why reviewers in the newspapers are paid. Nobody cares what I think about Big Brother, sport or the possible revival of the A-Team starring Jim Carrey.
Granted. However, I care what I think, and my blog is, primarily, for me. If anyone else wants to read my blather, wonderful — however, if not, other sites are a mere click away. Besides, I like to think that some of my friends and family might care a little bit.
If I put a photograph of myself on my site, it will actually look like me. I will not use Photoshop to alter the image to include shadow/friends/colour to my pale, monitor-bleached cheeks.
I don’t think I ever have been — nor ever will be — guitly of this one. If I can be proven wrong, feel free to let me know!
Every 5.8 seconds, someone posts a quote from Douglas Adams, Star Wars or Monty Python. Currently, 34.2% of the internet is made up of the word ‘Ni’. My website will break the chain.
They’re probably right here. I don’t think I fall into this trap too often, though — I don’t think I have any Star Wars or Monty Python quotes, this page will be the first time the word “Ni” has appeared on my site, and the last time (only time?) I quoted Douglas Adams, it wasn’t notable for its humor quotient.
If you don’t know me or my friends already, then photos of us drunk will mean nothing to you.
Agreed. However, most of the (few) people I have coming by are my friends.
Smileys are nothing more than confused punctuation.
Well, sure, but they’re fun to use, if they’re not overused. And besides, I managed to break the smiley function on here and haven’t resurrected it yet. So there. Bleah. :P
I will never take on online test. I do not resemble any of the characters from Buffy. I do not have a Jedi name, a prison bitch name or a Klingon name. If I don’t already have a real, non-computer generated nickname, it is because I have no friends.
Okay, so I’ve occasionally taken an online test. It’s a mildly amusing way to kill time for a few minutes, and if it amused me, then it may amuse others. That’s the point of linking, right?
I will never tell you fond stories of my childhood or say that television/computer games/the streets at night are not how they used to be. Nostalgia is just another way of saying ‘I’m unhappy’.
Again, guilty. I think my biggest issue here is nostalgia equating to unhappiness — I think the trip down memory lane is a fun one to take from time to time, but in my case, it generally makes me both happier with where I am now, and more excited about what’s yet to come. If nostalgia’s too depressing for some, maybe they need to find other things to be nostalgiac about.
If something cool/weird/hilarious happens to me, the first people I will tell are my friends and my family. If they do not ask at least five questions within two minutes, then it is not as interesting as I thought and I will never refer to it on the internet.
I can go for that — the trick being, this blog is how I tell my friends and family. Of course, if I were to judge from the number of comments I get on some of my posts, things aren’t as cool/wierd/hilarious as I think they are — but that’s a point of view I’m fairly used to, given my slightly skewed take on much of life.
If I link to an amusing sex aid, I am telling the world that I am not getting any.
Hrm — and here I thought that by linking to an amusing sex aid, I was telling the world that I thought it was amusing. Glad we’ve cleared that up!
Irony is not humour. Sarcasm is not clever. The word ‘blog’ is not a verb that is used by any normal human being.
Add the word ‘necessarily’ to the first one, I’d agree. The second I could agree to — sarcasm’s just too easy sometimes. The last, however — according to the Oxford English Dictionary, ‘blog’ has been drafted to be added to the OED — will the verb-ing of the noun be too far behind?
l33t is a language invented solely by and for illiterate 15 year olds with broken caps locks.
I heartily agree with this one.
If I’m angry about something, I will post my rant in ZapfDingbats 1pt, in white on a white background. If anyone genuinely gives a shit then they will take the trouble to translate it.
The majority of the time, if I’m angry about something, I’m not going to post about it — at least if it’s something personal — this site isn’t meant to be a public bitch forum. The few times I do, I may be looking for outside input, or even just trolling for sympathy. I can admit that.
Fake mastercard adverts involving genitals are not “priceless”.
Nobody cares who all your base belongs to.
Acronyms are not a way to communicate. The internet has no 160 character limit and bad spelling is bad spelling no matter what it stands for.
Again, agreed (incidentally, if you don’t know what these are referencing — at least the first two — you’re probably better off).
Anything I receive in email is not new and has already gone around the world four times.
Most definitely — and the subject of an earlier rant quite some time ago.
So that’s why I’m not subscribing to the manifesto. I appreciate it and the frustrations behind it — however…I’ve got my own agenda (confused as it may be) for my site. Hopefully a few people find this place worth visiting from time to time? If not — well, there are plenty of other sites to hit. Enjoy them!