This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on July 16, 2002). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.
Wil posted a funny little rumination on death by his friend Spudnuts — complete with some suggestions for gravestone inscriptions. The regulars on WWDN followed up with their own suggestions.
I laughed. A lot.
Here’s some of my favorites…
- He was better than you
- It’s fucking dark in here
- Buried with a big sack of emeralds. No, really.
- Secret agent
- He was kind of funny in an annoying sort of way
- He went straight to Hell
- Feeds upon the blood of the living
- He is in space now
- Deposit urine here
- He neglected his colon
- Yet another dead guy
- He was full of shit
- Made you look
- Game over, man
- Check, please
- I told you that my foot was killing me
- Hey Kid! Yeah, you! Steal this tombstone and hide it in your room to impress your friends!
- Ask me about Herbalife!
- Still dead
- I was killed by your honor student
- If the diet would have worked I wouldn’t be here
- This is a Government conspiracy
- We always warned her/him one of her/his childish tricks would backfire
- What truck?
- I told you I was sick!!!!
- The Government told me it wasn’t contagious
- They told me they had a cure
- Stop looking at me!
- I can see your underwear
- Trust me, don’t die with an itch
- By the time you finish reading this, there will be less of me
- Keep laughing. Someone will be reading yours next Tuesday
- Mikey wasn’t the only one who liked it
- Yeah, I’m dead, but you’re still ugly
- You’re standing on my unit
- I’m not really dead, I’m just tired of all you silly fucks
- Don’t worry, there’s no possible way they can hit us at this dist…
- Speak for yourself, sir. I plan to live forever
- Told you I’d live forever or die trying
- I drank what?
- Death is Mother Nature’s way of telling you to slow down
- As soon as I talk to Death, you’re next
- I told you he was trying to kill me
- His friends jumped off a cliff
- These worms tickle!
- He thought he was going to be cryogenically frozen
- I dare you to say my name three times
- Look out behind you
- Your message here … call 1-800…
- They really mean it when they say ‘Don’t touch that.’
- You guys wanna go see a dead body?
- Still alive and kicking in a parallel universe
- I see dead people