Breaking news: something happened

This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on October 24, 2002). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

This would be funnier if it weren’t so damn accurate:

ANCHOR: Now, this breaking news. Something has reportedly happened. Details are sketchy, and we really don’t have any idea of what it might be, but let’s show these impressive aerial shots from our helicopter. Now let’s go to our correspondent in the field to tell us that he doesn’t know anything. Bob?

CORRESPONDENT: Paula? I’m sorry, I couldn’t really hear you, but let me say that out here we really have no idea of what’s going on. But my sources tell me that something definitely has happened. All I can say is that we’ll find out as soon as possible. In the meantime, everybody should stay tuned to CNN.

ANCHOR: Thank you. As you can see, CNN sources now are confirming to CNN that something has, indeed, happened.

Y’know, I think that this is one of the (many) reasons that I have yet to regret giving up on television years ago. Most of the time I use the dearth of worthwhile shows as my reasoning, but even the news rarely seems to have actual content anymore. The last time I actually paid for cable access was in late 1999, to watch two things: first, the Bush/Gore presidential debates, and second, to watch the Y2K turnover.

Okay, so I’ll admit that no news was good news in the case of Y2K, but when even the circus of the 2000 presidential race can’t coax intelligent commentary out of the talking heads that pass as news anchors…why bother?

I’ve got newspapers available, which I can skim through to sieve the content from the drivel. And I’ve got the ‘net — which, while certainly not drivel-free (far from it, in fact), does allow me to both weed through a much larger set of sources to find information, and gives a far broader spectrum of commentators a voice. Often, I’ve been finding that those who expound on a topic because they want to, and because they have strong feelings for or against it, rather than those who talk because they’re paid to talk, come up with much more interesting things to say.

Then there’s people like me. Who just talk ’cause talking’s fun. And hope that we’re occasionally lucky enough to create something worth reading (grin).