Speakeasy needs a laxative!

This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on June 12, 2003). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

I noticed an ad on Speakeasy’s website today advertising a limited time offer for a good price on a faster connection than the one I currently have. Always interested in a good deal, I gave them a call to see if I could upgrade my ‘net connection.

As it turns out, I can — so sometime next week, my pipe to the ‘net will be upgraded to a 1.5/768 connection — the same speed into my apartment, but approximately six times as fast leaving the apartment. This should mean slightly better response time for this website, and it might allow me to play with things like streaming audio, something I’ve wanted to explore but haven’t had the bandwidth for.

The best part about all this, though, was the service representative I spoke with. Unfortunately, I didn’t catch his name, but he was great. At one point, since I don’t have any great concept of how easy or difficult it might be on Speakeasy’s end to upgrade my service, I wondered if it might be as simple as “throwing a switch deep within the bowels of Speakeasy.” Apparently he’d not heard a customer choose that particular phrase in the midst of a service call, because things got a little sidetracked for a bit after that.

End result? Here’s my service request, as seen from my account status page on Speakeasy’s site:

we are awaiting the new upgrade switch to be thrown deep within the bowels of speakeasy. once this bowel movement is finished please credit the customer a month of service. they have agreed to recontract if we do this favor for them. it’s like a new order, only it’s an old order with a funny hat on.

Yup — my Internet upgrade is just awaiting a bowel movement. Anyone have any Ex-Lax?