I found this song by Voltaire on a sampler from Projekt Records. It’s a good sampler, but this is easily the best of the bunch. Gypsy-ish melody, music that’s mostly violin and drumkit, and wonderful lyrics that sound to me like they’re sung with a quite mischevious glint in the eye. Gets me grinning every time I hear it.

When the Devil is too busy,
and Death’s a bit too much,
They call on me — by name you see —
for my special touch.
To the gentlemen I’m Miss Fortune,
To the ladies I’m Sir Prize,
But call me by any name,
any way it’s all the same…

I’m the fly in your soup,
I’m the pebble in your shoe,
I’m the pea beneath your bed,
I’m a bump on every head,
I’m the peel on which you slip,
I’m a pin in every hip,
I’m the thorn in your side,
Makes you wriggle and writhe —

And it’s so easy when you’re evil!
This is the life, you see
The Devil tips his hat to me.
I do it all because I’m evil,
And I do it all for free…
Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need.

While there’s children to make sad,
While there’s candy to be had,
While there’s pockets left to pick,
While there’s grannies left to trip down the stairs
I’ll be there, I’ll be waiting round the corner
It’s a game, i’m glad I’m in it
’cause there’s one born every minute.


I pledge my allegiance to all things dark
And I promise on my damned soul
To do as I am told, Lord Beelzebub
Has never seen a soldier quite like me,
Not only does his job but does it happily.

I’m the fear that keeps you awake,
I’m the shadows on the wall,
I’m the monsters they become,
I’m the nightmare in your skull,
I’m a dagger in your back,
An extra turn upon the rack,
I’m the quivering in your heart,
A stabbing pain, a sudden start.


And I’d do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need.
And I’d do it all for free,
Your tears are all the pay I’ll ever need.

It gets so lonely being evil.
What I’d do to see a smile,
Even for a little while,
And no one loves you when you’re evil…

I’m lying though my teeth!
Your tears are all the company I need!

And who says Goth’s don’t have a sense of humor? ;)

14 thoughts on “When You're Evil

  1. You really need to hear his song “My Ex-Lover’s Lover” its great. One of the good things about living in NYC was seeing him play live :)

    If you cant find it, email me and I will get you a sample

  2. “Alchemy Mondays” about CBGB’s – the great things about living in NYC (or visiting) is that you can have beers with him at CBGBs on most Mondays :)

  3. I love it.
    This has to be my theme song.
    LOL dark laughter

    From what I’ve heard of this band so far
    they will probally become one of my favorites.

    I hope they countinue to put a dark grin on everyone’s face
    through out the years.

  4. Voltaire makes it hard not to sing along with a sinister grin. I recomend for everyone to see him live. He is hilarious and hot.

  5. That’s got to be a classic in the land of Gotham… Here in Manhattan, it’s the greatest theme of all the creatures of the dark. As a salesman by day, musical prophet by night… I live by that song as a creedo.
    Funny… I thought I’d never see the lyrics on the web… I was looking for years. Thanks for posting them!

  6. A friend that loves this song told me about it and had me download it. I admit, whenever I am walking, I play this song and start to get an impish sort of smile while singing to it.

  7. Ah man…i want that song i heard that song by accident and it sounds so great…But i kinda lost it!! =(
    And i want his songs…But i can’t see the music anywhere round here..:(

  8. I love this song! At lunch everyday, I listen to it and sing along (which really annoys my friends!). I believe that Voltaire also wrote (or provided the music for) Deady the Evil Teddy on http://www.ebilgames.com (with When You’re Evil as the music!)

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