A marriage made in heaven

This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on October 2, 2003). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

…If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she’d be Yoko Ono Bono.

…If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.

…If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she’d be Bo Ho.

…If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she’d be Ella Vader.

…If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.

…If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he’d be Cat Doggy Dogg.

…If Olivia Newton…John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she’d be Olivia Newton…John Newton John.

…If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

…If Bea Arthur married Sting, she’d be Bea Sting.

…If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she’d be Liv Ito Beaver.

…If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he’d be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

…G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros…Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he’d be G. Ghali G.

…If Jack married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he’d be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

…If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he’d be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

…If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

(via Prairie)

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