What the hell's on my doorknob?

This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on November 7, 2003). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

Doorknob goo

I’d just finished getting dressed to head out to the club, when I walked out the door and reached behind me to swing the door shut. When I grabbed the handle, though, something seemed wrong — it felt slick. Odd. I turned to see if there was actually something there or if I was just fooling myself, and found…well, I don’t know what.

The entire doorplate on my door has been covered in some sort of slick goo that I can’t identify, enough so that the goo has dripped down the front of my door. There’s a slightly sweet smell that I can’t identify to the goo, and it appears to be eating through the paint on the door.

Needless to say, the first thing I did was get back into my apartment and wash my hands. I didn’t want whatever it was to be on my skin any longer than absolutely necessary. After that, I went back out and checked the rest of the doors on my floor to see if any of them had this same thing happening.

Nope. Just my door.

It eats away at the paint

Needless to say, this has got me somewhat freaked out. And, of course, there’s nobody I can call or ask about it, as it’s 11pm on a Friday night. Hardly office hours.

Is it just a prank of some sort? Or something more serious? Am I being targeted directly for some reason? It’s possible — with my resumé online, my address is now public knowledge, and I’ve discussed my DVD collection, my computers, my CDs, and who knows what all else online in the past. It’s at least theoretically possible that someone could have tried — or be planning to try — to get into my apartment while I’m away.

I have no idea what to do now. I’ve taken these photos, but I’m not sure if this is enough to make a call to the police. I don’t really want to leave, just in case it is someone planning on entering my apartment while I’m gone.

This sucks. And I’m freaked.

Grrrr.

20 thoughts on “What the hell's on my doorknob?”

  1. Maybe, since it smelled all sweet, it’s some flavored lube or something. I guess it could be Goo Gone, but I don’t think it smells sweet. You can always file a police report.

  2. FILE A POLICE REPORT !

    Sweet smell or not anything that starts to eat through paint is not to be taken lightly.
    Let them find out what it is?

    Who did you piss off?
    I wouldn’t call this a prank.

    Goo Gone does not smell sweet. Also it looks like it was sprayed on ?
    A shellac or varnish of some type is my best guess, but then again I’m only going by pictures.
    It would explain the paint eating effects. But would be tacky to the touch?

    Pam cooking spray ? Its the right color for butter flavor and the sweet smell and slickness all match.
    And it may eat paint.

    Go to the store and spray a bit on your finger to test the smell.

    I’m sorry !
    and
    Call the POLICE!

    If nothing else you’ll have it on record.
    If someone is bothering you you’ll want a complete record from the start.

    For the record, I’m a certified marksman.
    Stay away from my door!

  3. Update:

    Last night, I was able to get ahold of the on-site building manager. She came over and took a look, then put a call into the building management company, but wasn’t able to get ahold of anyone there.

    We discussed calling the police last night, but decided to wait on that to see what the management company had to say. I slept late today, but I’m about to head down and see if the on-site manager has heard back from them yet.

    I did end up going to the club last night, and everything in my apartment was still here when I got back. I’m also now using the chain lock on the door when I’m home, something that I hadn’t been doing previously.

    Hopefully, it was just a stupid prank, and nothing to be terribly worried about.

  4. Update 2:

    I went ahead and called the Seattle Police, who sent Ofc. Lewis out to take a look. She agreed that the whole incident seems odd, unfortunately, there’s not really much to be done. No illegal entry, no theft, and aside from whatever is on the door, no signs of possible entry (it could be anything from someone attempting to oil the lock to a spilled soda).

    For right now, then, I’ll just continue on as normal, and hope that it was nothing more than someone tripping in the hall and spilling their drink or something equally innocuous.

    That, and look into renter’s insurance.

  5. You should have listened to your mom when she pointed out that it may not be the brightest thing to make your personal info available from your web page. But that was back when you thought only family and few friends actually paid attention to what you post!

    Oil the lock? all over the plate? come on, you’re brighter than that

    Spilled a drink? any spash markings on the wall, on the door? dream on

    I’m glad you called the police. A record of this is good if something else happens. Can one be stalked at their home?

    Mom

  6. You should have listened to your mom when she pointed out that it may not be the brightest thing to make your personal info available from your web page.

    Possibly so. At the same time, though…well, firstly, it’s too late now, especially after the recent publicity, and secondly, I don’t want to feel as if I have to hide every little thing about my life out of paranoia. While I’ve taken my address off of the online resumé, I’m not going to go any further than that.

    Oil the lock? all over the plate? come on, you’re brighter than that

    Spilled a drink? any spash markings on the wall, on the door? dream on

    I can’t think of too many other explanations, really. Either oil or soda could affect the paint, there were some splash marks (though they don’t show terribly well in the photos) — and what else could it be? It obviously wasn’t overly acidic, as it didn’t affect the metal, the door itself, or my hand in the time before I got it washed off, so it wouldn’t have affected anything enough to gain access to the apartment.

    I’m leaning more and more towards it being a prank of some sort, which may or may not have actually been aimed at me. Back in school, putting vaseline or WD-40 or something like that on someone’s locker wasn’t terribly uncommon. It’s entirely possible that this was just something like that, and it may have been intended for someone else’s door and whoever did it just got the wrong apartment number.

    In the end, there’s really not much that I can do. I’ve notified both the building management and the police, this is a secured-entry building…aside from becoming overly paranoid and refusing to leave the apartment, I don’t know what more there is for me to do about this.

  7. Calling the police is rarely a bad idea; think of them like a security firm you hire every day of the year with your tax money.

    But at the same time, don’t be too paranoid. Odd things happen all the time, and Americans are in a lot less peril than we tend to think we are. I had eggs thrown at my house a few months ago. Why? Because someone hates me? No, because teenagers throw eggs, and my house was the one they hit. Probably the same thing with you; someone decided to be an idiot.

  8. I agree with Travis. It was probably a random egging… It’s happened to me a couple times this year (heck I’ve evern gotten my passenger side window shot out!) but what can you do? just punk kids.

  9. Looks to me like rather than picking your lock someone was trying a new technique that probably took too long. In other words, someone may have tried to burn through the plate and screws of your lock and knob.

    Ask around if anyone else has had the same thing. Or put up a notice in your neighbourhood asking if anyone has had this happen or seen anything odd.

    I’d definitely advise you to get insurance but I wouldn’t panic about your personal safety. Looks like nothing more than a failed break and enter, to me.

  10. Hi. I just came here via a link on Feedster. That you were home when this happened is very scary. The main thing is that you are safe and nothing happened to you. I agree with the others that this was probably random. I recall a gal I know who egged her former boyfriend’s apartment door. She was in her 40’s at the time. That’s what I thought of when I saw the pictures. Although, the sweet smell doesn’t really go with eggs it did eat through the pain on his door. Just be careful.

  11. If you’re posting your resume with your address info on it – take it off. Just put a line on there with a link to your e-mail, “Additional personal information available upon request”.

    The first thing I think of when I look at those pictures is urine. It would have to be someone who is quite dehydrated to get that sort of a color, but the sweet smell might be explained that way? But it looks more “splashy” than urine would be… and the way it has crystallized as it dries is interesting, too…

  12. i actually agree with your mom.

    no, we shouldn’t have to hide all the details of our lives on our blogs, but if there’s anything this microsoft crap should have done to you, it would be to show that anyone can read your blog, at any time, with incredibly negative effect.

    i don’t put my last name on my blog, and while someone may be able to find it out by checking out a few things on the web, i certainly don’t offer it up. i have been tempted in the past to not use my first name either.

    yes, it’s paranoid. no, it shouldn’t be this way. but you can live your life as if the world were an ideal place, or you can look at it and realize there are people/issues/actions out there that are not ideal. if this were any other place in the world, i might have a different opinion. but there is the occasional crazy mofo out there looking for a few kicks – you shouldn’t live in fear of them, but you shouldn’t make it easy for them to harrass you either.

    my last comment is – doesn’t your building have a locked front door with entry only by buzzer? i know they aren’t foolproof, but it makes me wonder if someone in your building wouldn’t know more about this…

  13. Oh – and I agree with whoever said it was varnish.

    i haven’t used the stuff much, but that’s what it looks like. and yes, it does smell sweet. and it would be sticky and kinda slick. but it is a very nice amber color, especially if you spread it around into a thin layer.

  14. I think maybe an alien may have sneezed on the door. and we all know how hard it is to remove alien snot from a finely painted door. My suggestion is to you is to provide a box of Kleenex next to your door. It looks like a small spray pattern and doesn’t varnish come in can form? For it to bring up the paint, it’s most likely a petroleum product. If I weren’t stuck in Canada unable to leave for immigration purposes, I’d be so there, guarding your door from future alien emissions.

  15. Sorry to add a new comment to an old entry, but I was just surfin’ around and came across this entry with the pictures and I immediately thought of when my husband and I refinished our dresser. We used citristrip and it had a sweet smell and is as slick as heck. It also peeled the paint exactly as it appears in the picture of your doorknob. It also comes in a spray-can, which you can check out at: http://www.citristrip.com/products.htm

    Don’t know if that helps any, as this is way old by now, but I just thought I’d give my 2 cents.

  16. This is so bizarre! I was searching the web because the same thing happened to me and I don’t know what it is? Were you able to figure out what or who it was and if anything came of it?

Comments are closed.