Maybe I won’t end up in hell…

This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on April 25, 2005). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

A guy died and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment.

As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into heaven. Others, though, were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every so often, whenever one of the condemned souls showed up wearing a Utilikilt, instead of hurling him into the fire, Satan would march him straight back to Heaven and slip St. Peter five bucks after a short, hushed conversation, whereupon the soul was quickly slipped inside. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow’s curiosity got the best of him so he asked what was going on.

“Excuse me, Prince of Darkness,” he said. “I’m waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn’t help wondering, why are you bribing St. Peter to admit folks in Utilikilts instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?”

“Oh, them?” Satan said with a groan. “They’re all from Seattle, they’re too wet to burn.”

(via Oakdancer on the Utilikilts Yahoo! group)