It’s a bit late for SNOWPOCALYPSE 2008, but for future reference, a handy guide of what to do…
…in the case of Snow:
- Obtain De-icer and chains for your car.
- Know your tire size, in case you need to replace a broken chain.
- Make sure your tires are at recommended air capacity.
- Urge the administration to close your schools, even if it only might snow.
- Carry a small amount of sand in your car so you can get traction if you get stuck.
- Remember: Snow kills people on contact, so avoid it at all cost.
…in the case of Rain:
- Make sure to pack up your umbrella!
- Wear rubber boots, or “Slicker Kicks” as I like to call them.
- Don’t listen to depressing music while it’s raining.
- Increase your following distance to at least 3 seconds.
- Call your mother. It’s been a while.
- Thank god it’s not snowing too.
…in the case of Snow/Rain:
- Scream at God, asking: “Why? Why, God, why?”
- Rain water is still made of water, which is able to freeze.
- Light your car on fire to thaw any ice on the road below your car.
- Before driving somewhere, call ahead and let them know you will be 27 to 50 hours late.
…in the case of nuclear war:
- Evacuate the area directly beneath atomic bomb impact.
- Remember the triangle! Time, Distance and Shielding.
- Ventilate and cool any lead shelters you habitate with ice and machine guns.
- Food is important. If you run out of food, eat the weak.
- Wear Fire Protection.
- Charge the batteries on your VATS.
…in the case of ice weasel attack:
- Do not make sudden moves around or near ice weasels.
- Try to lift the snowmobile off of your broken carcass.
…in the case a monkey flies out of my ass and claws for your eyes:
- Shield your eyes with metal objects, such as a frying pan, or bent forks.
- Should you trap the monkey in the closet, do not open your closet door.
…in the case of the dead rising from their graves:
- Do not shine your light on the Witch. She is tougher than she looks.
- Shove a boomer before you shoot him, so he does not splash on you.
- If you are on point, crouch so your teammate can shoot over your head.
- Avoid shooting a car with an alarm. The alarm will attract the horde.
(found here)