Hey, friends? I love you!

This entry was published at least two years ago (originally posted on February 23, 2022). Since that time the information may have become outdated or my beliefs may have changed (in general, assume a more open and liberal current viewpoint). A fuller disclaimer is available.

Trans/enby/genderqueer/gender non-comforming friends (and parents/guardians/loved ones thereof): I love you. The news out of Texas is horrible, and I’m sorry. I’m glad that most of you live here in Washington, where things are, if imperfect, at least better than Texas and many other places. Those of you who don’t live here, I hope you live in communities where you feel safe more often than not; if you don’t feel comfortable where you live, I hope that you have connections with people who can help and that you can find that comfortable space, whether that’s in a new place or where you are now (because let’s face it, “just move” isn’t a realistic solution for many people).

Furry friends: I love you. The news out of Portland is horrible, and I’m sorry. I’m well aware that violent murderous right-wing extremists aren’t representative of the wider Furry community, and I’m sorry your community is having to deal with a known troublemaker following through on his threats. It’s horrible that many news stories and the Portland police are yet again vilifying a community that is largely peaceful because its enjoyment of an activity that many people see as unusual allows for an easy “hey, look at those weirdos” angle.

Friends with or who have family, friends, or loved ones with health issues: I love you. I’m sorry that the world at large seems to have decided that you are expendable, and that your illness or death is an acceptable consequence of deciding that we’re simply tired of dealing with COVID, and our prime concern as a society should be ensuring that the top 1% continue to hoard as much wealth as possible. I hope your immediate circles are as safe as can be arranged, and that you are able to maintain both your physical and mental health in a time that makes doing that even more difficult than it was before.

BIPOC friends: I love you. I’m sorry that we’re still in a place where the hate crime convictions of Ahmaud Arbery’s killers are news in large part because it’s the first time such a conviction happened on a federal level, and that the result wasn’t something that could be counted on. It’s horrible that Black Lives Matter is still a controversial statement, and that there is so much proof every day that for so many, it’s still an untrue statement. That you still have to have “the talk” with your children; a talk that I never had to have as a child. I hope your communities give you peace, power, and comfort when necessary.

Women and AFAB friends: I love you. I’m sorry that things like pay equity, access to basic health and reproductive care, and many other basic aspects of equality are still controversial and currently under attack. I hope you have and continue to have access to all the resources and support you need. Too many things that should be settled are still threatened, and I hope we see that change sooner than it seems we will.

Disabled friends: I love you. I’m sorry you are so often secondary considerations. Your essential personhood is just as valid and valuable as anyone else’s, and accessibility and consideration should be a given, not something that you have to fight for at every turn.

To the rest of my friends, whether in marginalized groups I haven’t specifically mentioned, or as privileged as I know myself to be: I love you, too. I hope you are doing well, and for those of you who have the privilege, time, energy, and ability, that you do what you can to give your friends and loved ones the support they need — and to extend that support to those who have the same needs, even if they’re not in your immediate circles.