The miracles of Christmas

The real miracles of Christmas, according to me:

Miracle One: In thirty years of Christmas seasons, to the best of my knowledge, I have never seen either It’s A Wonderful Life or A Christmas Story. Never. Not once. I haven’t gone out of my way to avoid seeing them, but I certainly haven’t gone out of my way to attempt to see them, either. For one reason or another, it just hasn’t happened.

Miracle Two: That despite having no less than three different versions of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” programmed into the in-store Muzak at work, resulting in my having to listen to that insipid song no less than 240 times over the past month (three times in a two-hour repeating block of music over eight hours, twelve times a day, 40 times a week, 240 times since Thanksgiving), not to mention being treated to innumerable different versions of every other Christmas song ever recorded every time I stepped out of the house since Thanksgiving, I still managed not to devolve into a gibbering psychopath and start randomly destroying speakers, PA systems, stereos, and random carolers whenever I passed them.

It was really, really, really tempting, though.

Return of the King nitpicks

Whenever I see a film, it usually takes me two viewings — or, if two viewings isn’t warranted, a few days after seeing the film — for me to really lock down my impressions of the film. The first time I go in, I essentially empty my mind, and accept the reality of the film as it’s presented to me, and it’s generally not until some time after the film, or after the second viewing, that I really start to analyze it on a more critical level. While this doesn’t give me much hope for a career as a professional reviewer, as I don’t like being overly critical on my initial viewing, I’ve found it generally tends to work well for me for solidifying — or altering — my opinions of movies in the long run.

After watching Return of the King for the second time today, I’m still quite solidly convinced that Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy is, quite simply, one of the greatest achievements in filmmaking in recent years. However, that doesn’t stop me from finding the occasional odd thing to mention…such as two goofs, and a few choices that I’m not entirely happy with.

First off, the goofs — and why not start with the worst of the two that I noticed?

One of the most beautiful shots in the trailer for The Two Towers was a sweeping helicopter shot of Eddoras that started close in on Eowyn as she stood before the Great Hall, then pulled back and around, giving an incredible panorama of Eddoras and the surrounding countryside. That shot never made it into the final cut of The Two Towers (either the theatrical or the extended version), but about half of it has been used in Return of the King as the opening shot of Eddoras as the Rohirrim return home from Helm’s Deep. Unfortunately, in a surprisingly bad choice, rather than moving from Eowyn out, we start with a wide shot of Eddoras and track in…which required running the already filmed shot backwards, something which is made all too obvious by the smoke being apparently sucked into the chimneys of the houses! Someone wasn’t paying quite as much attention as the should have been when that shot was approved.

Now on to goof number two. Just after Eowyn dispatches the Witch King and his fell beast, she turns to comfort the fallen Theoden, and we see them from directly above. We see Eowyn crouched over her father, who lies on his back on the ground, the corpse of his horse across the lower part of his torso. We can see his upper torso from approximately waist level and up, but we can also see his boots projecting from underneath the horse. As far as I can tell, either his boots were knocked off during the fall (and just happened to fall where they did, both with the toes pointed upwards), or Theoden was actually somewhere around eight or nine feet tall! It’s a fairly short shot, but once I saw his feet sticking out from underneath the horse’s belly, it was a little hard to suppress a slight laugh.

As far as editing choices I wish had been different, there are four that really stick out to me.

First off, along with many other people, I really wish that we’d been given some closure with Saruman. Considering how much of a presence he was in the first two films, having him so conspicuously absent this time is definitely somewhat jarring, and for some reason it seemed to be more so this time around. Not only would it have given us more satisfaction than an almost casual “well, we just don’t have to worry about him anymore,” it would have helped to explain Pippin’s discovery of the Palantir lying in the waters outside Isengard — which as it is, without seeing Wormtongue’s foolish tantrum where he tries to bean Gandalf with whatever he can find at hand to throw, seems far too convenient of a coincidence. Of course, I’d also like to see Wormtongue get his comeuppance after Saruman realizes what he’s just managed to do, too…

I kind of wish that either the sequence where the Witch King tells one of his Orc henchman that he will deal with Gandalf had been left out, or the confrontation between the two on the ramparts of Minas Tirith had been left in. Instead, now we have a setup with no payoff. It’s easy enough to rationalize it away — that the battle was hectic enough that the Witch King ended up confronting Eowyn before he got around to Gandalf — but it still ends up feeling a little kludgy.

Also, some resolution with the Orc commander would have been good. He’s a definite presence all throughout the taking of Osgiliath and the first part of the siege of Minas Tirith, but then he just disappears in the chaos — again, setup without payoff.

In a series where the main bad guy is never actually realized as a physical presence beyond the prologue sequence in The Fellowship of the Ring, it seems to me that it’s important for us to get as much resolution as possible with the bad guys that we do get to see. In TFotR we had Lurtz (the leader of Saruman’s band of Uruk-Hai), and in TTT we had Saruman (while we didn’t see the final resolution to his storyline, we did get the satisfaction of watching the Ents lay waste to Isengard while Saruman watched and fumed from the balcony). In RotK, of the three possible cathartic victories — Saruman, the Orc Commander, and the Witch King — we only got to see one of them. Admittedly, the one we did get to see was wonderful (even with a more reserved audience than that of opening weekend at the Cinerama, her “I am no man!” line still got cheers and applause from the audience), but it would have been more satisfying if Saruman and the Orc commander had been dealt with on screen as well.

And lastly, as much as I enjoy the opening sequence giving us Gollum’s backstory, I can’t help but think that Andy Serkis adopted the Gollum personality far too quickly. I’d always understood Gollum’s persistent use of “us” when referring to himself as an indication of his split personality between Gollum, twisted and corrupted by the Ring, and Smeagol, the essentially good Hobbit-like creature unfortunately ensnared by the will of Sauron. That impression is only strengthened in sequences where, when Smeagol confronts Gollum, the Smeagol personality refers to himself as “I” or “me”, where the Gollum personality continues to refer to itself as “us”. It’s as if Gollum, as the Ring and the will of Sauron, knows that no matter how strong his hold over his victim is, there is still some slight danger that Smeagol will reassert himself, and so Gollum must continually keep watch and keep Smeagol under control.

However, in RotK’s prologue sequence, Serkis lapses into his “Gollum voice” as soon as he sees the Ring being held by Deagol, instantly demanding that Deagol “gives it to us.” I don’t remember offhand just how this was handled in the book, but I’d always had it in my head that the division between Smeagol and Gollum and the self-referential “us” would have appeared over time as Smeagol battled for what sense of himself he could retain under the influence of the Ring. And, even if the plural form of self address was an affectation of Smeagol’s before coming into possession of the Ring, I would have preferred it if the “Gollum voice” didn’t kick in until later on in his deterioration.

The really funny thing for me is that with the things I’ve outlined above — especially the last four points, as goofs can creep into any movie, no matter how well planned — I find RotK as a single movie the least deserving of a Best Picture Oscar than either FotR or TTT. Taking all three as single entities in and of themselves, I’d probably put FotR at the top of the heap, with RotK just after it and TTT at the end. Now, taking all three as a single entity, especially when factoring in the Extended Edition versions of the first two (and projecting the extended version of RotK, as some of the issues I brought up are supposed to be addressed in its extended DVD release next November), I think that not only does the entire Lord of the Rings series deserve just about every Oscar in the book, but that Peter Jackson should be given some sort of special achievement award for being able to so successfully translate Tolkein’s work to film (is it too early in his career for a lifetime achievement award?). I just find RotK’s theatrical version to be the clumsiest of the three theatrical releases.

In any case, it was still a lot of fun to see the movie again in the theater, and I definitely look forward to adding it to my collection to view many more times over the coming years. All of the nitpicks I have with the film are really fairly minor in the long run, and as mentioned, the Extended Edition should take care of a good number of them upon its release. Too bad that’s not until next November!

Famous Faces

(Just after a customer picks up a job…)

“That guy looked familiar.”

“Yeah, I had the same thought.”

“I think he was in a band.”

“…wasn’t everyone in Seattle in a band at some point?”

“Good point.”

(A few minutes later…)

“Ha! I was right!”

“Really?”

“Yup — he was in the Murder City Devils.”

“Good eye.”

TypePad User Group

It’s plug time!

I’ve been hanging out on the TypePad User Group for a while now. It’s a great little resource for TypePad users — entirely unofficial, but a good place to go as a first resource for figuring out issues with coding and maintaining TypePad weblogs.

We’ve noticed that while there are a lot more TypePad weblogs popping up, it’s lost some of the “community” feel that it had in the beta test days, and it was suggested that…well, I’ll let authenticgeek speak for himself:

I think this forum is an awesome place to get info about TypePad.

>

There is just one small problem, TypePad is growing at such an huge rate and we’re not getting as many new users as we should be. Sure, it’s not a requirement to show up here if you’re on TypePad but I think there are people out there that should know about this place that don’t.

>

Any ideas for how we can better get the word out to new TypePad users? We could even talk to Ben/Mena about possibly getting an official link here from the TypePad site since I’m sure they don’t have the time to answer so many little questions about CSS and whatnot.

>

I’m going to make another post on my blog to remind people (the few who read) about this place. I urge other members (especially people with massive hits ahem djwudi…) to do the same and submit any other means for spreading the word.

See? They just want me for my potential hit-generating ability…;)

All joking aside, it is a good place to go for information, questions and answers. Feel free to drop on by.

MiddleEarth mania, week three: The Return of the King

Well, it’s done. Prairie and I just got back from seeing The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King at the Cinerama.

I read something earlier this week on the ‘net. Unfortunately, I can’t remember where, so I can’t give attribution — but it’s a statement that I can now say quite safely that I wholeheartedly agree with. Until this year, had someone mentioned The Trilogy in conversation so that you could hear the capital ‘t’s, it would have been fairly understood that they most likely were talking about Star Wars.

Not anymore. LotR:TRotK caps off the new reigning champion of popular cinematic trilogys in grand style.

Prairie and I had tickets to the 7:45pm showing, but we knew that this being opening weekend we’d want to get there fairly early to ensure good seats. So, after an early bed last night and a good night’s sleep, we packed up our supplies (books for each of us, an umbrella, and two collapsible chairs from the trunk of her car), we headed down to the Cinerama at 4pm. We weren’t sure at first whether that might have been a bit too early, but as it turns out, our instincts were right on the money, as we ended up about 15 people back from the front of the line (in fact, we realized that we’d ended up waiting at almost exactly the same spot for all three weeks of our LotR experience), and it wasn’t more than about five minutes before more people showed up and took the spots right behind us.

Luckily enough, it turned out to be a nicely mild evening, without the wind and drizzling rain of last weekend. We’d each bundled up for the wait, and ended up spending a very pleasant three hours kicked back in our spot, chatting, reading, and watching the line grow behind us as more and more people appeared. About ten minutes before the doors opened I took a few minutes to stretch my legs and went off to find the end of the line…which had wrapped down from the Cinerama to the corner, around the corner, and then halfway again down the length of the block. We were quite happy we decided to come out as early as we did!

About the only downside was that when we arrived, there was one guy just ahead of us in line — but by the time the doors were about to open, he’d been joined by five of his friends (and this had also happened with a few other people ahead of us in line, and just behind us as well). I can certainly understand holding a spot in line for one friend, but it’s nothing but annoying when someone holds a spot at the beginning of the line for groups of people, who can then show up not more than ten minutes before the doors open and slide into line in front of people who’d been waiting there for hours. Very rude, and quite aggravating — luckily for them, I didn’t think my umbrella would stand up to smacking all six of them around, so I kept my peace.

Still, once the doors opened and the line surged forward, we made our way in and managed to snag good seats yet again — dead center, six rows back on the lower level (just one row closer to the screen than last week, and two rows closer than we were for Fellowship — thank goodness it’s only a trilogy!). After that, it was just a matter of waiting for everyone to fill in and find their seats, until eventually, the lights went down, and applause and cheers filled the room.

We were treated to three trailers before the show started. The first was for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which got applause and cheers from the audience. Next up was a trailer for The Mask is Back, which had the audience in dumbfounded silence until the end, when the auditorium was filled with a resounding chorus of boos and catcalls (which did something to restore some of my faith in the intelligence of the moviegoing public — or at least that section of the moviegoing public crazy enough to stand in line for LotR:TRotK on its first weekend). Last up was a trailer for The Butterfly Effect, which didn’t get much of a reaction at all (the trailers don’t impress me much, but I am interested in the premise of the film, so we’ll see how that goes once it opens).

Finally, the lights went down all the way, and the movie began… Rather than jumping straight into the action as was done with LotR:TTT, LotR:TRotK starts off with a look back long before the events of the trilogy, fleshing out Gollum’s background and showing the discovery of the Ring and the tragic events surrounding Smeagol’s acquisition of his “birthday present” from his brother Deagol. A marvelously creepy sequence shows us Smeagol’s deterioration into Gollum under the influence of the Ring, until we finally cut forward to hear Gollum muttering to himself as Sam and Frodo rest on their journey into Mordor.

(Note: much of the following text is “spoiler” information, which I’ve hidden for the time being — just swipe the blank areas of the text with your cursor if you’ve already seen the film….)

This is by far the most intense of the three films, moving back and forth among multiple storylines, hardships, moments of despair, and sudden triumphs. As jaw-dropping as the assault on Helms Deep was in LotR:TTT, the assault on Minis Tirith puts it to shame. There were so many wonderful (and wonderfully horrible) moments in the battles, from the Orc commander’s call to “release the prisoners” (at which point the severed heads of fallen Gondorian soldiers were lobbed into Minas Tirith), to the appearance of the giant war-Olifaunts, to Eowyn’s stand against the Nazgul king — “I am no man!” — (which got one of the loudest cheers from the audience) that I’m going to have to see it at least once more in the theaters just to start to take it all in. One amusing side-note about the Orc commander, though — I’d always wondered just what happened to Sloth after Goonies ended…and now I know!

Shelob was everything I’d been hoping she’d be, marvelously frightening and menacing. Her sudden appearance from the hole in the cave wall just when you think that Frodo made it through her lair safely got a wonderful gasp, and the scene where she hovers over Frodo was perfectly done! Everyone in the audience was on the edge of their seat, with nervous laughter filling the room from the tension of the moment…and when she finally strikes, everyone gasped and laughed with the sudden release of that tension — until the sudden realization hit that Frodo had been stung, when the entire auditorium fell dead silent.

I loved, loved, loved the look of the army of the dead that Aragorn confronts.

The interaction among Gollum, Frodo and Sam, as Gollum uses the effects of the ring to aid him in his own treachery was handled perfectly, so much so that it almost hurt to watch as his efforts took hold.

All in all, a truly masterful achievement. But, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end, and — save looking forward to the release of the Extended Edition on DVD next November — the journey is finally finished. The credits rolled, the lights came up, and we left the theater, at first with little more than “Oh, wow,” on our lips. Next out from Prairie was, “I want to go back to stand in line and see it again!” I can’t really argue with that!

Congratulations, Peter Jackson (and everyone else involved) — you’ve filmed what was commonly held to be an unfilmable work. Now, would someone please release the rights so that he can do The Hobbit?!? I want to see Smaug on screen!

M/A/R/R/S: Pump Up the Volume

Pump up the volume, pump up the volume, pump up the volume, dance! Dance!

This was the first single I ever bought. I had no idea what a ‘single’ was until that point, and didn’t even realize I was buying one until I got home. I’d just heard the song on the radio and seen the video on Friday Night Videos, saw the cassette while out shopping, and bought it. I was really confused when I got home and the ‘album’ I’d just purchased had four versions of the same song in a row, plus one other song, and the same thing was repeated on side two. I thought it was a mistake of some sort.

Put the needle on the record…put the needle on the record…put the needle on the record, put the needle on the record, put the needle on the record when the jump beats go like this!

ToySight

ToySight Marble Factory

ToySight is hands down one of the coolest games for the Mac that I’ve seen yet. It’s a collection of several small mini-games and “toys” that you play by using your iSight camera as the controller!

Toysight is set of cool games and toys to play using your iSight™ or similar firewire camera. Using a system of object and motion detection to track your position, Toysight allows you to control buttons, sliders and perform gestures on the screen, putting you right in the action!

It’s a little hard to describe without seeing it, but if you’ve got an iSight (or other FireWire video camera) you’ve got to download this and check it out.

Some slight design tweaks

I’ve done a little light fiddling with the design here in order to clean up some details that had been bugging me.

I started by adding a light grey background to blockquote elements in order to make them a bit more distinct from my babbling. That ended up making the page feel a bit heavier than I wanted, though, as the lightest grey I could use was the same grey that made up the background color in the lower section of each post’s title bar.

After fiddling with a few different approaches, I finally decided to use a slight gradient rather than a solid grey for the title bar, starting darker on the right and fading to white towards the left. The blockquote elements still felt a bit much, though, so I ended up creating a second, lighter gradient to use for their background as well. I’m not entirely sure I’m satisfied with the end result — while I like each effect individually, I’m not as sure about how they interact with each other on the page. Still, it’ll do for now.

Left and right floating elements (such as pictures and Amazon item links) have been nudged a few pixels outward in order to better align them with the outside borders of the post title bars.

Lastly, I removed the grey background behind the post titles and replaced that with a drop shadow effect behind the title text. The one downside to this approach is that it’s currently only visible in Safari (I believe), as Safari’s currently the only browser (that I know of) that supports that particular CSS attribute. The rest of you just need to upgrade. ;)