Jordan’s boobs ‘may explode’ in jungle
Medics have warned that Jordan’s breasts could explode if leeches get to suck them in the jungle.
(via Ben Hammersley)
Links
Stuff I find around the web that interests or amuses me.
Mars Dead or Alive
If you’ve got an hour to kill and a broadband connection, the NOVA program “Mars Dead or Alive” is freely available on the web! I’ve just spent the past hour watching it, and it’s fascinating, going from the construction of the two rovers and the problems encountered during their assembly and testing, through both launches, and right up to Spirit’s successful landing on Mars.
To watch the program, just go to the ‘Watch the program‘ section of the site, choose your connection type, and kick back.
Tip for QuckTime Pro users: Rather than watching the program in the small pop-up window that their site provides, just open up QuickTime Player, choose File: Open URL in New Player…, and paste in this URL: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/mars/media2/mars.mov. Once you’ve done that, you can then choose Movie: Present movie… and watch the entire program full-screen.
(via IPFreely)
Also available in the site is ‘From Launch to Landing‘, a stunning nine-minute long computer animation of Spirit’s journey from liftoff to its first moments trekking across the Martian landscape.
Local excitement, dumb criminals
While I didn’t see any of this myself, apparently life got a little exciting for Bellevue residents yesterday as the FBI barricaded robbery suspects inside a hotel…
More than 200 guests were trapped in a hotel for 4 1/2 hours yesterday morning as FBI agents negotiated with bank robbery suspects barricaded inside.
The standoff ended peacefully around 12:30 p.m. when the three suspects came out of their room at the Embassy Suites Hotel at 3325 158th Ave. S.E. near the Eastgate shopping center.
In the end, the suspects surrendered peacefully, and noone was hurt. My favorite bit of the story, though?
The three men, charged with the Jan. 12 armed robbery of a bank in Cape Girardeau, Mo., had registered at the Bellevue hotel in their own names.
Good way to stay undercover, guys. ;)
iTunes: “Oh Yeah” by Yello from the album Essential (1985, 3:07).
‘cuddling’
I’ve been reading Something Positive for a while now, since Royce showed it to me, but yesterday’s strip has two of the best quotes I’ve seen from it yet.
If masturbating was supposed to be cute, pink bunnies would do it in meadows and they’d ejaculate rainbows and flower petals.
I’m an artist and mindfucks are my medium.
iTunes: “Pride (In the Name of Love)” by U2 from the album Rattle and Hum (1988, 4:27).
Who’s the pervert? ;)
Last August, one of Anil‘s “Daily Links” was to a story about the Olsen Twins somewhat risqué Rolling Stone photo shoot. When he linked to it, the tooltip he put on the link was, “298 days, you pervert”.
Today, he linked to a story about the Olsen Twins going to NYU. The tooltip he used this time was, “the answer is 152 days, you pervert”.
If it weren’t for Anil so kindly keeping track of things like this, I’d never know just when the twins were due to turn 18.
I’m not sayin’.
I’m just sayin’.
iTunes: “Happiness (Dub)” by Front 242 from the album Mut\@ge.Mix\@ge (1995, 6:10).
Apple Computers? Pshaw…try Potato Processing!
This has got to be one of the most inventive (and stupid) ways I’ve heard of yet to try to score some free computer parts:
German police are investigating after an angry man returned a computer he had just bought saying it was packed with small potatoes instead of computer parts.
The store replaced the computer free of charge but became suspicious when he returned a short time later with another potato-filled computer casing, police in the western city of Kaiserslautern said on Monday.
“The second time he said he didn’t need a computer any more and asked for his money back in cash,” a police spokesman said.
Police are now investigating the man for fraud.
(via Neil Gaiman)
iTunes: “Voodoo People” by Prodigy, The from the album Hackers (1994, 4:08).
Occam’s Razor
So — what’s more likely?
That while trying to install and figure out the image-processing software that came with their new digital camera, a husband and wife accidentally opened the husbands previously hidden stash of downloaded porn, or…
That after purchasing a brand-new digital camera, taking a few pictures, and plugging it into their computer, a husband and wife discovered that there were a number of pornographic images already on the camera when they bought it?
An investigation has begun after a couple found pornographic pictures on a new digital camera they had bought.
Jackie and Eammon Gall, from Greater Manchester, discovered the explicit shots in the memory of the camera soon after they bought it for £400 at Argos.
[…]
[Mr. Gall] told BBC GMR: \”When we discovered the pictures, I was trying to get rid of them straight away, because that was my instant reaction.
\”Then for whatever reason the pictures then became part of the desktop and filled up the whole screen.
“Then I started to panic, thinking the pictures would perhaps go anywhere else on the computer that they shouldn’t.”
I know you’re not supposed to snicker at people. But come on…
(via Need to Know)
iTunes: “Child In Us, The” by Enigma from the album Le Roi Est Mort, Vive Le Roi! (1996, 5:06).
Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads…
There’s a (mostly) amusing article in the Seattle PI today about the “War of the Fish” — that is, the “Jesus Fish” and the many variations plastered over cars all over the place.
Brothers and sisters, there’s a battle raging. It’s not a battle fought with weapons of mass destruction, Lord save us, and it’s not a battle fought in armored personnel carriers.
It is a battle, children, for the hearts — yea, verily, for the everlasting souls — of America’s trunks and bumpers. It is a battle of words and wills, and fish. Lots and lots of fish.
Hallelujah! Can I get a witness?
Amen, brother.
Personally, I’m fairly partial to this one…
…though there are certainly a lot to choose from.
One thing about the article did really bug me, though.
Farmer, the Ashland fish maker, said the only word fish booksellers in his area wouldn’t carry was Tolerance.
Some fish, friends, are just too hard to swallow.
The only one they won’t sell. They’re quite happy to sell as many other this believe vs. that belief slogans as they can, but heaven forbid they actually suggest that we actually try to get along with each other! We just can’t have that, now can we?
(sigh)
iTunes: “I Sit On Acid (’95)” by Lords of Acid from the album Do What You Wanna Do (1995, 4:31).
Zeugma
Cool word of the day: zeugma.
Zeugma is a word for when you make a verb do several functions at the same time (eg. “I left in a foul mood and a black taxi”). Flanders and Swann’s song “Have Some Madeira M’Dear” employes quadruple zeugma in each verse, which is dead impressive; the relevant lines are:
And he said as he hastened to put out the cat,
The wine, his cigar and the lampsShe lowered her standards by raising her glass,
Her courage, her eyes and his hopes.When he asked, “What in Heaven?” She made no reply,
Up her mind, and a dash for the door.
I love things like this.