Links

Stuff I find around the web that interests or amuses me.

Like watching a car crash

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Ever driven past a car crash site? You don’t really want to look, but you just can’t help it? Some sort if innate human curiosity about the bizarre and the horrible kicks in.

Reading a log of stories from a video store clerk about her customers who rent porn is kind of like that. Fascinating, scary, and funny all in one…and it completely sucked me in. I just lost about an hour of my morning to this.

We have a new vistor to the porn section. He’s been in twice now. Actually, he’s been in at least three times, as he is a registered member, but he’s only stood out twice.

He comes in, goes down to the straight porn section, and whips out a hand mirror. Then he applies makeup for about an hour.

Seriously.

No browsing, no chatting people up, no whacking. In, mirror, makeup and out. And again, he’s in the straight section.

No one’s sure what to do yet.

Whatever works, I guess.

Blast dab fraggin’ pakaloomer

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There was an absolutely wonderful article in the Seattle PI yesterday about how at times, letting loose with a good string of profanities can be wonderfully therapeutic — but it’s so much better when you can swear with style!

Be creative with your curse words. Dropping a simple F-bomb is a cliche and, frankly, it is beneath you. If you’re going to swear, do it with style. Try thinking of yourself as a “vulgarity artist” — a poet of the profane, as it were. Cuss in rhyme or, perhaps, haiku. This way, when you unleash a string of ear-searing expletives, the people around you may not like what you had to say but they’ll appreciate the panache with which you said it.

At the end of the article, they request submissions of examples of creative swearing — I’m going to send them one I got from dad: Blast dab fraggin’ pakaloomer!

Advice to Ashley

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don’t be fooled by guys who have great sex with you. the sex will always be great.

don’t be fooled by guys who can write well. it just means that when they’re mad at you you’ll get the most hateful terrible emails. you deserve better.

don’t be fooled by guys who are terribly handsome, or charming, or cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce. those guys, especially in LA are a dime a dozen.

what you need is a nerdy guy who’d do anything for you. who would leave you presents at your door and make web sites for you in your image: beautiful and grand, lyrical and edgy. you need a geek who would wait years for you, secretly, despite his own welfare. you need someone who wont make fun of the bad music kids these days love.

instead of trolling the skate parks and beaches, you should sit outside a cyber cafe or an engineering department, browse through the aisles of fry’s electronics, become a member of the battery club at radio shack.

go geek, not greek.

your whole life you’re going to be pursued and eventually conquered and dominated by a variety of well-meaning men, take this opportunity to turn the tables and you be the one who does the corruption. and trust me when i tell you that you’ve got all the tools.

go to tower records and smile at the boys with the dyed hair and the unoriginal punk rock wear, but give your number to the guy in the back wearing the weezer tshirt who would never think that in a million years you’d say hi to him.

then get his number, tell him to ride his scooter over, kiss his neck, watch him shake, get him stoned, put in jane’s addiction, and go where the music takes you.

I don’t know who Ashley is, but I have to say, I like the advice she’s getting from Tony Pierce. Now I just need to meet her….

(via Doc)

Preliminary WTC plans unveiled

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Well, the cleanup from the Sept. 11th attacks has been finished, the authorities are working on identifying as many casualties as possible and returning what personal belongings can be returned, and today the first preliminary plans for rebuilding on the WTC site were unveiled. I haven’t looked at all the plans yet, but they can be viewed at the Lower Manhattan Development Corporation‘s website.

Homeless for a week

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There was an article in the Seattle PI yesterday about a couple local guys who decided to try being homeless for a week to try to get some idea of what it was like. I skimmed over the article, but a rather scathing followup editorial printed today reminded me about it, so I started reading about it again.

It turns out that one of the two guys is Scotty Weeks, who I’ve known off and on for years in Anchorage before he moved down here to Seattle a few years back. Small world, eh? In any case, he and his friend Derrick had set up a website to keep a journal of their days on the streets. After poking around on it, Scotty’s site, and the two PI articles — well, I’ve got mixed feelings on the whole thing.

Read more

All they wanted was a ride

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Okay, here’s a bizarre little situation — three women buy a beer for a guy they meet in exchange for a ride where they need to go, and end up trapped in the car during a wild police chase!

The women later told detectives they didn’t know the car was stolen and had never met the driver before. They said they had bought him a beer because he promised to give them a ride to the White Center area. They said that when the deputy started following him, Snow told them he had warrants out for his arrest, that the car was stolen, ‘and that he wasn’t going back to jail,’ the documents state.

I think I’ll stick to walking and taking the bus.

Guess I got out in time

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It’s official — Andersen is guilty of obstructing justice when they destroyed documents relating to the Enron debacle, and very likely won’t exist much longer. It was definitely interesting to be able to watch some of the downfall of Andersen from the inside for a while — and to see the final results as they come down the newswire. Neat stuff.

(via Blogdex)

tetris is so unrealistic

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Continuing in the quote theme, the IRC Quote Database is a repository for worthwhile (or worthless) snippets taken from online chat sessions. Their top 25 list nearly had me in tears.

<CrazyClimber> top dangling modifier of the day:
<CrazyClimber> “A jet going 100 m.p.h. slammed into a deer, which ruptured a wing fuel tank and dumped 70 gallons of gas on the runway.”
<CrazyClimber> i knew about cows and methane, but…
<me_tew> Dammit, when are they going to REQUIRE that fuel tanks on deer be moved away from the wings.

<doctorb> goth clubs should serve coffee. ice cold coffee. with nails and broken glass. and call then ‘depresso’s’

(via Daypop)