Humor in Tragedy

I’ve always had a predilection for black humor. It’s a trait that will occasionally raise its head at entirely inappropriate times.

Like today, when I saw the following headline (which has since been replaced on CNN’s site):

Tear gas, gunfire beat back cartoon protesters

All I could see in my head was a Toon Town riot, and I couldn’t help laughing. Wrong, and I’m going to hell…but funny.

(For the record, I think the local Muslim community is doing a far better job of responding to the cartoons than the rioters are. Also, until I read this article, I had no idea that the it was considered blasphemous to portray images of Mohammed. That little piece of information makes the anger at the cartoons a little more understandable to me — but I still in no way believe that the violence that’s taking place is the appropriate response.)

iTunesGroove to Move” by Channel X from the album Technomancer (1996, 5:20).

Bruce the Wonder Yak

Someone discovered a fun easter egg in Apple’s Final Cut Pro 5:

Open up “Final Cut Pro.rsrc” (/Applications/Final Cut Pro HD/Contents/Resources/Final Cut Pro.rsrc) in any text editor and you will stumble upon this hidden message:

If we can’t ship this puppy by then, we might as well be herding yaks. I’m glad it’s getting weird again. I didn’t understand it when it wasn’t weird. The C switch statement: Mmmmmm! Chock full of nooses! That would be like crossing the streams or something. Mmmm… Chicago style pizza! I’ve got my blankie, I’m good to go. A lot of this job is mental. “Mostly clockwise, sometimes reverses…” What’s the sound of one luma clamping? I just wanna be in the app! Oh, rough and woeful music which we have! Cause it to sound! The Yak is a delightful creature… rather like a visit with a bovine Confucious…

There’s a lot more there, I’ve snipped it for the sake of brevity. I think it’s a hilarious little random screed — and my guess is that they just took every little “in-joke” from the FCP programming team and tossed them all semi-randomly into a single text file. That’s what it reads like to me, at least — with the recurring Yak theme and the general random silliness of what’s in there, reading it reminded me a lot of some of my old brainstorming sessions with friends.

Bush’s hit list

What follows is a list originally posted on Yahoo and copied here because Yahoo tends to remove news articles two weeks or so after they’re posted. I also reformatted the list to make it easier to read.

These are the proposed cuts in Bush’s 2007 budget. A lot of things in here make me wince, but it’s the education sections that really make me mad. I want my 24.6 seconds back.

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Unfortunately Michael

More fun with Google: Unfortunately Michael

Unfortunately, Michael discovers Nellie’s hands-on approach is more than he bargained for.

A pity, as I’m not normally one to object to hands-on approaches from women.

Unfortunately, Michael is unable to accept any story ideas or manuscripts…

Ever. At all. They’re all totally unacceptable, every single one of them.

Unfortunately Michael deals with Kevin because he knows that his mom will NOT and that is NOT fair to Michael!!!

Heh. My little brother’s name is Kevin. At times when we were growing up, I probably thought that this was very true.

Unfortunately, Michael and Helena’s relationship just wasn’t as good.

Especially since I don’t remember ever having a relationship with a Helena. Couldn’t have been very good at all.

Unfortunately Michael’s umbrella was tied to the wall to stop it blowing away…

…so while the wall stayed nicely dry, I was drenched.

Unfortunately, Michael did not live to see the television series based on the pilot…

Yes, you heard it right here. This website is written by a zombie. THE UNDEAD!

Unfortunately Michael barely had time to show his skills in fighting…

I’ve got skills. Nunchuck skills.

Unfortunately, Michael became obssessed with getting Walt back and went back into the jungle.

And since that fateful day, the Jungle Cruise tour has been haunted with the sound of my voice crying out, “Walt! Mister Disney! Where are you? Come back to me!”

The music isn’t too bad but unfortunately Michael just makes it sound amateurish.

All those years of choir gone to waste. Such a shame!

But, unfortunately, Michael died before that happened.

See? UNDEAD! UNDEAD! UNDEAD! (with apologies to Bauhaus).

(via Eric Meyer)

iTunesI Got You” by Vitamin C from the album Vitamin C (1999, 4:01).

The IT Crowd

Cory’s rightThe IT Crowd is great.

Creator Graham Linehan has produced a cast of characters who exemplify everything I loved about Father Ted: complete, over-the-top silliness, likable villainy, and great comic foolishness. The setup for the show is as silly as Father Ted’s: two IT geeks in the basement of a large, abusive corporation get a new boss, a woman who lied about her IT experience on her resume. What follows isn’t funny because of its intricate plotting, but because of its willingness to lard absurdity on absurdity, so that each episode gets progressively weirder as it progresses (for example, in episode two, there’s a screamingly funny running gag about a fire that’s broken out in the basement, which has to be hidden from the abusive CEO when he comes down to check on everyone’s morale).

British humor and geek jokes (lots of ’em, too, from Flying Spaghetti Monster posters to RTFM t-shirts to EFFFair Use Has a Posse‘ stickers…essentially the entire set dressing) combined. Bonus points for basing the theme song off of Gary Numan‘s ‘Are Friends Electric?“, too. Fire up your bittorrent clients and enjoy!

iTunesAre Friends Electric?” by Information Society from the album Darkest Hour, The (1997, 4:27).

ENG101: In-Class Writing: Analysis: Ed Schools vs. Education

My second paper for my ENG101 class. This was an in-class essay analyzing an editorial by George Will, “Ed Schools vs. Education“. We’d been given the article the week prior, so we’d be able to prepare and bring along anything we needed (short of an already-written essay) to prepare.

Final grade: 100% (plus a smiley face and the notation, “Couldn’t have said it better myself!”).

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The Ciccones: Lies

Here’s a mashup worth listening to: The Ciccones‘ “Lies” (6.5Mb .mp3). While most of the all-Madonna mashup album is fairly hit-and-miss, this is by far the standout track. Over the music for “Live to Tell“, audio quotes from the justifications for the Iraq war are juxtaposed with the song’s original chorus:

A man can tell a thousand lies,
I’ve learned my lesson well,
Hope I live to tell the secret I have learned,
’till then, it will burn inside of me.

Cute and clever.

iTunesLies” by Ciccones, The from the album Immaculate Concoction, The (2005, 5:45).

Steelers take the Superbowl

Neither Prairie nor I really know much about football, and we don’t really care to know much. However, that didn’t stop us from kicking back and having a fun time watching the game and doing our own form of silly armchair quarterbacking.

Favorite commentary moment: after a player got injured, the commentator was trying to figure out just what the injury was and said that, “I can’t tell if that’s an ankle or a head.” To which I responded, “good thing you’re not a doctor!”

Best commercials: the “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” series (for an insurance company…I think) were a close runner-up, as was the Bud Light “Streaker”, but my favorite (due to being completely bizarrely surreal) was the Burger King “Whopperettes” bit.

And, in the end, the Steelers took it. Still — at least the Seahawks were there.

And now, a few hours without TV before Grey’s Anatomy comes on. Code black!

The 24.6 Second College Degree

Update: I munged up some of my math this morning and got the numbers slightly wrong. I’ve updated the post with correct numbers. They’re still scary and infuriating.

According to this morning’s Seattle Times, the military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan are costing approximately $118,000 per minute$100,000/minute for the war in Iraq, and $18,000/minute in Afghanistan.

CNN/Money reported last October that the average cost of attending a four-year public university was approximately $12,127 per year, or $48,508 for four years.

In other words, 2.69 minutes worth of the money we’re spending in Afghanistan would pay for the average four-year degree. Only 29.1 seconds worth of the money we’re spending in Iraq would do the same. So would 24.6 seconds of the two operations combined.

Every day, we’re spending enough money in Iraq and Afghanistan to pay for 3,503 four-year public school college degrees.

And yet, George Bush is asking for $70 billion more to pay for those wars, while cutting education funding by $12.7 billion.

The bill the U.S. Senate passed in the last hours of its 2005 session is called a “budget reconciliation” – an attempt to force the federal budget into balance with spending cuts or tax increases. But there’s no way to reconcile one of the biggest items on the chopping block, aid to education, with the long-term interests of the nation, its students, families and economy.

The bill includes a $12.7 billion cut in federal aid to education. The Senate passed it 51-50 with Vice President Dick Cheney casting the deciding vote. The cut, the first in federal education spending in more than a decade, accounts for nearly a third of the bill’s spending reductions.

[…] If the House approves them, the cuts will be very real. Here’s what they will mean:

  • An increase in the federal Stafford Loan Rate from 4.7 to 6.8 percent. The will go to 8.25 percent in July.

    The higher interest rates mean that on average students will pay $2,000 more and parents $3,000 more.

  • Pell Grants to low and moderate-income students will remain frozen at $4,050 for the fourth straight year despite the president’s earlier promise to raise them to $5,100.

    According to the American Council on Higher Education, Pell Grants covered 84 percent of the cost of attending the average public four-year college when they were created in 1972. They now pay 34 percent.

The cuts come at a bad time. In five years the average cost of tuition at a public university has increased by 57 percent, the cost of room and board by 44 percent. American higher education is becoming more unaffordable at a time when attending college has never been more important.

A conversation Prairie and I had while walking into NSCC about how we’re going to afford getting me a degree prompted this little exploration. Meh. Not happy right now.