The Worm Within

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This one may seem a little odd (at least, that is, if you haven’t seen it linked on every other site on the ‘net yet), but it’s worth it: one man’s experience dealing with one of the ickiest digestive problems possible — a tapeworm.

Yes, the subject matter is likely to make you cringe. But it’s also incredibly well written, and if you’re not too squeamish, well worth reading.

I was leaning forward, my nails scrabbling on his desk. Some sort of living thing was eating with me, sleeping with me, sharing my childhood traumas without my permission, and was with me during those intimate moments when I achieved orgasms, with or without a consenting partner. How embarrassing.

[…]

I was already entertaining dramatic fantasies. I visualized the tapeworm securely hooked at the bottom of my throat using the spiny little stabbing things they had, its mouth ajar, and every time I ate, it ate; I drank, it swallowed; when I got caught in the rain, it stayed dry.

Of course, this reminds me of a question that Royce used to toss out every so often, just to see what sort of interesting answers he might get. The more creative the answer, the better. The question was (probably slightly paraphrased, as I’m doing this from memory)…

You discover that you’re the host of a sixteen foot tapeworm one day when half of it comes out. What do you do?

There were many good (as in hilarious, and frequently very wrong) answers given at the time, two of which have stuck with me, though I can’t remember if either of them was my answer or not.

  1. Hang it out of my fly and scare small children.
  2. Well, if of the eight feet that came out, half came out one end and half came out the other, I could string myself up between two trees like a hammock.

I’m sure there were more answers worth preserving for posterity. If they’re still around anywhere, Royce would have to be the one to fess up to their existence. ;)

(via MeFi)

This is just goofy

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Okay, so when I had to reinstall my system the other day, I ended up with an older version of iPhoto (2.0). Since I picked up the iLife package a while back with iPhoto 4, which changed the library format, iPhoto 2 couldn’t get into my photo library. Not a big deal, all I need to do is reinstall the iLife package.

Which was where things got odd.

The iLife package comes with two install discs: a DVD that includes iTunes, iPhoto, iDVD, iMovie, and GarageBand, and a CD that has everything except GarageBand (for those poor shmoes stuck in the dark ages of computing). Me being just as organized as ever (in other words, not at all), I wasn’t sure where the install DVD was. No biggie, GarageBand shouldn’t have been touched by the system update (since it isn’t part of a standard system install), so I figured I’d just install the minimal iLife package from the CD installer.

Popped in the CD, launched the installer, and then got this:

iLife won't install from CD

What?

I’d be pissed if it weren’t so damn funny. That’s just goofy, though — because I have a DVD drive, I have to install from the DVD? The install CD is entirely useless to me? Honestly, that’s one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen from Apple to date.

I found the DVD, though, so I should be good to go from here.

iTunes: “Gangster Tripping” by Fatboy Slim from the album Go (1999, 5:19).

We need a Japanese president

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Case in point: a Japanese minister has resigned in disgrace after failing to pay into a national pension plan.

The resignation of Mr Fukuda is also a major personal loss to [Prime Minister Junichiro] Koizumi.

He has been the government’s chief spokesman, and a key ally and adviser to the prime minister, for the past three years.

“I am ashamed of myself for having undermined the trust of the nation as a result of the non-payment of pension premiums,” Mr Fukuda told a press conference.

“I would like to apologise for having intensified distrust in politics due to an inept response on my part as the cabinet’s spokesman,” he said.

A pension plan.

In America, after a few weeks of headlines, the entire Enron scandal just blinked off of our radar, and there were many connections between that and the current administration. Now, this gentleman is stepping down and apologizing for an infraction that, from the article, seems to pale in comparison to much of what goes on over on this side of the pond.

If only our politicians had this kind of integrity.

iTunes: “When You Don’t See Me (German Release)” by Sisters of Mercy, The from the album Temple of Love (1992, 4:47).

Why isn’t Limbaugh muzzled yet?

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Why does this man still have a radio show when he spouts off crap like this?

On Limbaugh’s Tuesday radio show, titled “It’s Not About Us; This Is War!”, one caller likened the stacking up of naked Iraqi prisoners to a college fraternity prank — Limbaugh was eager to go along, calling the behavior nothing more than “a good time” and healthy “emotional release”:

“Exactly. Exactly my point! This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation and we’re going to ruin people’s lives over it and we’re going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I’m talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You [ever] heard of need to blow some steam off?”

I could hardly see straight when I first read that, let alone come close to forming a coherent response.

Thankfully, Kirsten did much better than I…

…I feel that Americans should find a way to apologize to Iraqis personally. We financed this, in essence. We drive around with flags on our cars and think we’re the fucking saints of this backassward world. It’s time to show our humility and our shame at the actions of the men and women who represent us abroad and fight for our freedom. Not being the greatest of activists, I wonder at how to do this. All I have is this blog and the ability to stand on a street corner in Fairbanks Alaska with a sign. I don’t even know what I could say that would make a difference. Perhaps it would be right for humane Americans everywhere (ie. Rush Limbaugh not included) to pick up a sign and march, not in anger or protest or support of our rights, but to march for forgiveness for our actions abroad. If the leader of our country won’t do as much, won’t face a camera and speak directly to the Iraqi people and apologize for the atrocities we’ve committed, it seems the only way to get that message out is to get out and do it ourselves.

Count me in. Not that I really have a lot of ideas — like Kirsten, all I’ve got is this blog and the ability to stand on a street corner in Seattle with a sign — but count me in.

I’m going to steal one last bit of Kirsten’s post, as again, she says exactly what I believe:

…consider these pictures when you go to the voting booth. Consider who is responsible for this fucked up war, for putting our soldiers into situations where this is normal and they are turned into barbarians, for destroying what little was left of our reputation in the world community. If you vote for Bush after seeing what he and his administration have done, you are subscribing to the actions they have taken. You are subscribing to more of the same, in essence, you are signing a big ‘A-OK Dubya!’ for the next four years. Remember each picture you’ve been shown, look at that ballot, and decide whether or not you can stand to see more of the same.

iTunes: “Union Man” by Shaking Family from the album Rubáiyát: Elektra’s 40th Anniversary (1990, 3:56).

National Day of Prayer

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So apparently today was the National Day of Prayer.

I’m sure that was appreciated by those Americans who are Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Mormon, pagan, agnostic, or atheistic.

Okay, so yes, the official proclamation (PDF) does make a cursory attempt at inclusivity, inviting “Americans of every faith to give thanks for God’s many blessings and to pray for each other and our Nation.” I find that less than impressive, though, considering the wording of the rest of the document is blatantly Christian in tone.

Then there was this Washington Post article about Bush’s appearance on Christian TV to celebrate the day, where I found this choice bit:

…this year’s theme is “Let Freedom Ring.” He described it as the evangelical response to efforts to remove the words “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance and keep the Ten Commandments out of public buildings.

“Our theme is, there is a small group of activists unleashing an all-out assault on our religious freedoms. They are targeting the Christian faith,” he said.

Oh, give me a break. I’m so tired of this argument.

I wish I were rich. First thing I’m going to do when I win the Lotto is make an attempt to place monuments in every government building that has the Ten Commandments posted with key quotes from the Quran, the Mormon Book of Prayer, whatever I can find that will work well as a general catch-all for the larger pagan religions, something for the Oriental beliefs…you get the point.

Can you imagine the furor that would raise?

Sigh.

Okay, I’m done.

State votes ranked by IQ

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Here’s a fun chart: States ranked by average IQ and how they voted in 2000.

Update: I’m getting a ton of hits on this entry by people searching for similar data for the 2004 elections. Well, you’re in luck: State Votes by IQ 2004! Though, really, you’d be wise to scroll down and read through the comments on this thread — since the whole thing was basically a hoax to begin with. ;) Still, have fun!

  State Avg. IQ 2000
1 Connecticut 113 Gore
2 Massachusetts 111 Gore
3 New Jersey 111 Gore
4 New York 109 Gore
5 Rhode Island 107 Gore
6 Hawaii 106 Gore
7 Maryland 105 Gore
8 New Hampshire 105 Bush
9 Illinois 104 Gore
10 Delaware 103 Gore
11 Minnesota 102 Gore
12 Vermont 102 Gore
13 Washington 102 Gore
14 California 101 Gore
15 Pennsylvania 101 Gore
16 Maine 100 Gore
17 Virginia 100 Bush
18 Wisconsin 100 Gore
19 Colorado 99 Bush
20 Iowa 99 Gore
21 Michigan 99 Gore
22 Nevada 99 Bush
23 Ohio 99 Bush
24 Oregon 99 Gore
25 Alaska 98 Bush
26 Florida 98 Bush
27 Missouri 98 Bush
28 Kansas 96 Bush
29 Nebraska 95 Bush
30 Arizona 94 Bush
31 Indiana 94 Bush
32 Tennessee 94 Bush
33 North Carolina 93 Bush
34 West Virginia 93 Bush
35 Arkansas 92 Bush
36 Georgia 92 Bush
37 Kentucky 92 Bush
38 New Mexico 92 Gore
39 North Dakota 92 Bush
40 Texas 92 Bush
41 Alabama 90 Bush
42 Louisiana 90 Bush
43 Montana 90 Bush
44 Oklahoma 90 Bush
45 South Dakota 90 Bush
46 South Carolina 89 Bush
47 Wyoming 89 Bush
48 Idaho 87 Bush
49 Utah 87 Bush
50 Mississippi 85 Bush

Obviously, there are a number of reasons — mathematical, statistical, and scientific — why a chart like this shouldn’t be taken terribly seriously.

That won’t stop me from being amused by it, though. ;)

(via MeFi)

Seattle Skyline

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Not the best quality panorama in the world, but not terribly bad, considering it was taken while bobbing along on the waters of Lake Union in a Duck.

Seattle from Lake Union

Rick picked me up Tuesday morning and took me down to Ride the Ducks as my birthday present. Quite fun, actually, for a silly little tourist thing to do. :)

iTunes: “Romeo” by Summer, Donna from the album Flashdance (1983, 3:16).

Countering the ‘rains all the time argument’…

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Looks like Washington might be facing another drought this summer.

Washington was going through a drought the summer I came down here, too. While I wasn’t really complaining (gee — more sun? shucks!), I also didn’t really realize the extent of it until I headed out with some friends to see the Barenaked Ladies at the Gorge in central Washington. On the way out we passed a reservoir that was no more than half full, the air was scented with the smell of smoke from the forest fires raging across the state, and at one point the sunset was nearly obscured by smoke from a fire just a few miles away.

After getting everything set up at the campsite, we packed ourselves into two cars, and headed down a quicker route back to the Gorge for the show. The way there was fascinating — currently, huge amounts of the state of Washington are on fire, and there were amazing clouds of smoke from the fires just 40 miles away or so in the sky. The smoke turned an otherwise clear night to a completely opaque murk. Just fascinating to see — and the smell of burning pine in the air was an added reminder that all this stuff wasn’t that far away.

Growing up in Anchorage and now living in Seattle, neither droughts nor forest fires are generally something I have to be overly worried about most of the time (earthquakes, windstorms, and the occasional volcanic ashfall are more likely to crop up on any given day in Anchorage). When they come along, though, they’re often not that far away, either.

iTunes: “Swamp Thing (Southern Comfort)” by Grid from the album Music for Dancing (1994, 7:14).

Custom kids, made to order

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How would you feel if a major reason for your existence in the world, possibly the primary reason for your conception, was to act as a genetically guaranteed donor to cure your older sibling of a disease?

Kind of weird to think about.

Sure, this kind of thing has been done for years, just without the benefit of Gattaca-style genetic screening to ensure a compatibility match, but it was a far more private matter. With the news stories surrounding these more recent children, how might they feel if somewhere down the line, when they’re old enough to understand, what if they somehow find out that they are one of these kids?

“Well, we weren’t planning on having another child, but then your brother got sick….”

Better or worse than finding out you’re adopted?

What if there was any favoritism — real or perceived — in how the two children were treated before this aspect was discovered? If the older child (the recipient) was seen as the “favorite”, how much could that affect the younger child’s perception of themself? Or if the younger was perceived as the “favorite”?

That could easily be enough to screw you up for a long, long time.

Happy Birthday Royce!

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Day three of the May Birthday Extravaganza — my long-time friend (since 4th grade) Royce hits 31 today.

Happy birthday, bub! :)

iTunes: “Profecia” by Calva Y Nada from the album German Mystic Sound Sampler Vol. IV (1993, 3:30).