A quiet Christmas

It’s been a nice Christmas holiday this year. Due to financial difficulties, I wasn’t able to head up to Anchorage to be with my family for Christmas, so I ended up spending Christmas on my own for the first time in my life. While I missed being able to see family, all in all, it really wasn’t such a bad thing — there will be plenty of other chances for me to head back up to Alaska in the future (possibly even a few that aren’t in the dead of winter!), and it gave me a few days of just “me time” to kick back and relax without having to deal with the rigors of travel.

I’d originally thought I was going to work on Christmas Eve day, but things were slow enough at work that I ended up getting the day off after all. A nice surprise, though if I’d known earlier, it might have made the trip to Anchorage more likely, so there was a slight element of frustration, too. However, not being one to complain about an unexpected day off, I spent most of the day just relaxing at home, with a few hours of wandering around downtown Seattle watching all the last-minute holiday shoppers hurry from store to store.

On the way back home from my wander, I decided that I might as well do what I could to celebrate the Christmas holiday in my own particular style — and ducked into the theater to see Bad Santa. What a wonderfully horrid little movie! The entire thing is very, very wrong, and very, very funny. Definitely not a movie for everyone, but if you’re into black comedy and don’t mind a film taking quite a few outrageous shots at the Christmas season, it’s worth checking out.

After a bit more time goofing off at home, I headed up the hill that evening for Christmas Eve at the Vogue. What better way to spend Christmas Eve than at a goth club with a lot of people dressed in black and listening to dark music, right? ;) Hey, it works for me — especially as there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun with the night, and among the songs played at the club that night were a few of the songs from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.

Today’s been another day of nothing. A little dinking around on the ‘puter, a little reading and zoning out, and seeing Return of the King for the second time. My only frustration was that I’d intended on calling home to wish Mom, Dad and Kevin a merry Christmas — but I don’t have long distance, and I discovered today that my phone card had expired a couple of months ago. Of course, this being Christmas day, I don’t know of any open stores close to me where I could pick up a new phone card, so I may have to take care of that sometime in the next couple days and call them this weekend instead. Hopefully they’ll understand!

Return of the King nitpicks

Whenever I see a film, it usually takes me two viewings — or, if two viewings isn’t warranted, a few days after seeing the film — for me to really lock down my impressions of the film. The first time I go in, I essentially empty my mind, and accept the reality of the film as it’s presented to me, and it’s generally not until some time after the film, or after the second viewing, that I really start to analyze it on a more critical level. While this doesn’t give me much hope for a career as a professional reviewer, as I don’t like being overly critical on my initial viewing, I’ve found it generally tends to work well for me for solidifying — or altering — my opinions of movies in the long run.

After watching Return of the King for the second time today, I’m still quite solidly convinced that Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy is, quite simply, one of the greatest achievements in filmmaking in recent years. However, that doesn’t stop me from finding the occasional odd thing to mention…such as two goofs, and a few choices that I’m not entirely happy with.

First off, the goofs — and why not start with the worst of the two that I noticed?

One of the most beautiful shots in the trailer for The Two Towers was a sweeping helicopter shot of Eddoras that started close in on Eowyn as she stood before the Great Hall, then pulled back and around, giving an incredible panorama of Eddoras and the surrounding countryside. That shot never made it into the final cut of The Two Towers (either the theatrical or the extended version), but about half of it has been used in Return of the King as the opening shot of Eddoras as the Rohirrim return home from Helm’s Deep. Unfortunately, in a surprisingly bad choice, rather than moving from Eowyn out, we start with a wide shot of Eddoras and track in…which required running the already filmed shot backwards, something which is made all too obvious by the smoke being apparently sucked into the chimneys of the houses! Someone wasn’t paying quite as much attention as the should have been when that shot was approved.

Now on to goof number two. Just after Eowyn dispatches the Witch King and his fell beast, she turns to comfort the fallen Theoden, and we see them from directly above. We see Eowyn crouched over her father, who lies on his back on the ground, the corpse of his horse across the lower part of his torso. We can see his upper torso from approximately waist level and up, but we can also see his boots projecting from underneath the horse. As far as I can tell, either his boots were knocked off during the fall (and just happened to fall where they did, both with the toes pointed upwards), or Theoden was actually somewhere around eight or nine feet tall! It’s a fairly short shot, but once I saw his feet sticking out from underneath the horse’s belly, it was a little hard to suppress a slight laugh.

As far as editing choices I wish had been different, there are four that really stick out to me.

First off, along with many other people, I really wish that we’d been given some closure with Saruman. Considering how much of a presence he was in the first two films, having him so conspicuously absent this time is definitely somewhat jarring, and for some reason it seemed to be more so this time around. Not only would it have given us more satisfaction than an almost casual “well, we just don’t have to worry about him anymore,” it would have helped to explain Pippin’s discovery of the Palantir lying in the waters outside Isengard — which as it is, without seeing Wormtongue’s foolish tantrum where he tries to bean Gandalf with whatever he can find at hand to throw, seems far too convenient of a coincidence. Of course, I’d also like to see Wormtongue get his comeuppance after Saruman realizes what he’s just managed to do, too…

I kind of wish that either the sequence where the Witch King tells one of his Orc henchman that he will deal with Gandalf had been left out, or the confrontation between the two on the ramparts of Minas Tirith had been left in. Instead, now we have a setup with no payoff. It’s easy enough to rationalize it away — that the battle was hectic enough that the Witch King ended up confronting Eowyn before he got around to Gandalf — but it still ends up feeling a little kludgy.

Also, some resolution with the Orc commander would have been good. He’s a definite presence all throughout the taking of Osgiliath and the first part of the siege of Minas Tirith, but then he just disappears in the chaos — again, setup without payoff.

In a series where the main bad guy is never actually realized as a physical presence beyond the prologue sequence in The Fellowship of the Ring, it seems to me that it’s important for us to get as much resolution as possible with the bad guys that we do get to see. In TFotR we had Lurtz (the leader of Saruman’s band of Uruk-Hai), and in TTT we had Saruman (while we didn’t see the final resolution to his storyline, we did get the satisfaction of watching the Ents lay waste to Isengard while Saruman watched and fumed from the balcony). In RotK, of the three possible cathartic victories — Saruman, the Orc Commander, and the Witch King — we only got to see one of them. Admittedly, the one we did get to see was wonderful (even with a more reserved audience than that of opening weekend at the Cinerama, her “I am no man!” line still got cheers and applause from the audience), but it would have been more satisfying if Saruman and the Orc commander had been dealt with on screen as well.

And lastly, as much as I enjoy the opening sequence giving us Gollum’s backstory, I can’t help but think that Andy Serkis adopted the Gollum personality far too quickly. I’d always understood Gollum’s persistent use of “us” when referring to himself as an indication of his split personality between Gollum, twisted and corrupted by the Ring, and Smeagol, the essentially good Hobbit-like creature unfortunately ensnared by the will of Sauron. That impression is only strengthened in sequences where, when Smeagol confronts Gollum, the Smeagol personality refers to himself as “I” or “me”, where the Gollum personality continues to refer to itself as “us”. It’s as if Gollum, as the Ring and the will of Sauron, knows that no matter how strong his hold over his victim is, there is still some slight danger that Smeagol will reassert himself, and so Gollum must continually keep watch and keep Smeagol under control.

However, in RotK’s prologue sequence, Serkis lapses into his “Gollum voice” as soon as he sees the Ring being held by Deagol, instantly demanding that Deagol “gives it to us.” I don’t remember offhand just how this was handled in the book, but I’d always had it in my head that the division between Smeagol and Gollum and the self-referential “us” would have appeared over time as Smeagol battled for what sense of himself he could retain under the influence of the Ring. And, even if the plural form of self address was an affectation of Smeagol’s before coming into possession of the Ring, I would have preferred it if the “Gollum voice” didn’t kick in until later on in his deterioration.

The really funny thing for me is that with the things I’ve outlined above — especially the last four points, as goofs can creep into any movie, no matter how well planned — I find RotK as a single movie the least deserving of a Best Picture Oscar than either FotR or TTT. Taking all three as single entities in and of themselves, I’d probably put FotR at the top of the heap, with RotK just after it and TTT at the end. Now, taking all three as a single entity, especially when factoring in the Extended Edition versions of the first two (and projecting the extended version of RotK, as some of the issues I brought up are supposed to be addressed in its extended DVD release next November), I think that not only does the entire Lord of the Rings series deserve just about every Oscar in the book, but that Peter Jackson should be given some sort of special achievement award for being able to so successfully translate Tolkein’s work to film (is it too early in his career for a lifetime achievement award?). I just find RotK’s theatrical version to be the clumsiest of the three theatrical releases.

In any case, it was still a lot of fun to see the movie again in the theater, and I definitely look forward to adding it to my collection to view many more times over the coming years. All of the nitpicks I have with the film are really fairly minor in the long run, and as mentioned, the Extended Edition should take care of a good number of them upon its release. Too bad that’s not until next November!

If Abraham Lincoln grew up on AOL…

FOUR SCORA AND SEV3N Y3ARS AGO OUR FATHERS BROUGHT FORTH ON THIS CONTIENNT A NU NATION CONCAIEVD IN LIEBRTY AND D3DICAETD 2 TEH PROPOSITION TAHT AL MAN R CR3AETD AQUAL!1!!!11! LOL NOW WA R ENGAEGD IN A GR3AT CIVIL WAR TESTNG WHETHAR TAHT NATION OR ANY NATION SO CONC3IEVD AND SO D3DICAETD CAN LONG ENDURE!1!!1 OMG WTF WE R M3T ON A GRAAT BATLEFEILD OF TAHT WAR!1!1! OMG WTF WE HAEV COMA 2 DADICAET A PORTION OF TAHT FEILD AS A FINAL R3STNG-PLAEC FOR THOS3 WHO HER3 GAEV THEYRE LIEVS TAHT TAHT NATION MIGHT LIEV!!!!!11! WTF IT IS AL2GETH3R FITNG AND PROPER TAHT WE SHUD DO THIS

BUT1111!!! LOL IN A LARGER SANSE WE CANOT D3DICAET W3 CANOT CONS3CRAET WE CANOT HALOW THIS GROUND11!!!!!1 WTF DA BRAEV MEN LIVNG AND D3AD WHO STRUGLED HER3 HAEV CONSECRAETD IT FAR ABOVE OUR POR POWER 2 AD OR DETRACT!!11 OMG TEH WORLD WIL LITLE NOTE NOR LONG REM3MBR WUT WE SAY HERE BUT IT CAN NEVER FORGET WT DID HERE

IT1!1!! OMG WTF IS FOR US DA LIVNG RATHAR 2 B DADICAETD HARE 2 TEH UNFINISHED WORK WHICH TH3Y WHO FOUGHT HERE HAEV THUS FAR SO NOBLY ADVANCED111!!! LOL IT IS RATHAR FOR US 2 B H3RE DADICAETD 2 DA GREAT TASK REMANENG BFORA US-TAHT FROM THESE HONORAD DAAD WE TAEK INCRAAESD DEVOTION 2 TAHT CAUS3 FOR WHICH TH3Y GAEV DA LAST FUL MAASURE OF DAVOTION-TAHT WE HARE HIGHLY R3SOLV3 TAHT THASA D3AD SHAL NOT HAEV DEID IN VANE TAHT THIS NATION UNDER GOD SHAL HAEV A NU BIRTH OF FREDOM AND TAHT GOVERNM3NT OF DA PEOPL3 BY DA PAOPLE FOR DA PEOPL3 SHAL NOT PERISH FROM TEH 3ARTH1!!!11!! WTF

(courtesy of The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator, via Phil)

The Dangers of Molasses

One of the country’s most bizarre disasters ever happened to the city of Boston, Massachusetts, on the afternoon of January 15, 1919. An unusual warm spell had cheered people at the north end of the city, raising the temperature from around zero to the mid-40’s, and business went on as usual.

Suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, disaster struck. On a hill above the city, a 90-foot wide tank of molasses intended to be used for production of rum suddenly ruptured, sending two and a half million gallons of molasses in a wall eight to fifteen feet high down into the unsuspecting Boston neighborhood at speeds of up to 35 miles per hour. 21 people were killed, and 150 were injured.

That day’s Boston Evening Globe described the scene:

Fragments of the great tank were thrown into the air, buildings in the neighborhood began to crumple up as though the underpinnings had been pulled away from under them, and scores of people in the various buildings were buried in the ruins, some dead and others badly injured.

The explosion came without the slightest warning. The workmen were at their noontime meal, some eating in the building or just outside, and many of the men in the Department of Public Works Buildings and stables, which are close by, and where many were injured badly, were away at lunch.

Once the low, rumbling sound was heard no one had a chance to escape. The buildings seemed to cringe up as though they were made of pasteboard.

Legal battles followed, of course, but eventually the fault was laid at the feet of the owners of the molasses vat for failing to properly reinforce the vat, and they had to pay out more than a million dollars in damages.

The terrible thing about this disaster was that it was entirely avoidable! In fact, the people of Boston were wary from the beginning of having a large molasses factory on top of a hill. They saw what could happen. However, the head of the factory spoke to the mayor, who in turn spoke to the people of Boston, and succeeded in convincing them that with the amount of money the factory would make, the people would get some of it as the factory spent money and bought goods et cetera. The people accepted this, and allowed the factory to be built.

When you look at it, it’s terribly sad.

21 people were killed — all for the treacle down effect.

When snow in Anchorage makes the news…

…you know it’s been coming down pretty heavily. Just another reason why I’m glad I left Alaska!

All over town, people dug out Monday morning, moving 7 to 11 inches of new snow that had fallen since Sunday night. It was the sixth day in a row with significant snow, amounting to about 2 feet since Dec. 17 and more than 20 inches since Friday.

Sunday’s snowfall set a record of 5.3 inches — measured near the airport — for Dec. 21. The old record was 3.1 inches, set in 1954.

[…]

City crews had been working 24 hours a day with 58 graders, blowers and sanders since 4 a.m. Friday, Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich said Monday. Even without more snow, it would take more than a week to catch up.

(via Dad)

NYPD cop busted for blogging

A NYPD police officer is under investigation because of what he wrote on his weblog. However, where when I landed in hot water due to my blog it was due to a single stupid mistake, this guy appears to have been bragging about grossly abusing his position as an officer of the law.

A Brooklyn cop is being investigated for Internet postings in which he brags about beating suspects, writing phony tickets and ignoring calls to his precinct.

The officer, identified by Internal Affairs investigators as a patrol cop who works in the 75th Precinct, uses the pseudonym “Brooklynbacon” and posts his messages on a site accessible through Xanga.com.

Alongside pictures of motorcycle trick riders, naked women, photographs with comical captions and pictures of human oddities, he posts messages supposedly about his job and, in some instances, his own misconduct. Any one of the offenses he describes could cost him his job.

Either the guy is telling the truth (and therefore a disturbing mix of braggart, ass, and idiot), or it’s all a fiction playing off the popular perception of NYPD officers (in which case he’s just an ass and an idiot). Either way, the stories he posted are more than serious enough to warrant landing him in hot water.

(via Say Anything)

Got it, got it, need it, got it, not a chance, need it, got it…

While I’m still partial to the “Old School” purity tests, Kirsten pointed out a page that bills itself as the ‘ultimate’ purity test, and I had to give it a shot…

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is…
Category Your Score Average
Self-Lovin’ 21.7%
I wouldn’t shake hands, if I were you
65%
Shamelessness 57.1%
It takes a couple of drinks
79.4%
Sex Drive 15.8%
Humps fire hydrants when nobody’s looking
77.7%
Straightness 1.8%
Knows the other body type like a map
44.9%
Gayness 58.9%
Had that experience at camp
83.4%
Fucking Sick 70.8%
Dipped into depravity
89.9%
You are 40.15% pure
Average Score: 72.6%

Just to clarify, the numbers refer to how pure I am in any particular category — in other words, I’m only 1.8% pure in the “Straightness” category, so I’m 98.2% impure (not much I haven’t done) for that category. As for the rest…no, I won’t elaborate in public. So sorry. ;)