Enthusiastically Ambiverted Hopepunk
Things that make me laugh, or that I think will make others laugh.
A young kid was suspended from school for one day when, while everyone else in the classroom was reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, he recited his own pledge of allegiance.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Federation of Planets, and to the galaxy for which it stands, one universe, under everybody, with liberty and justice for all species.
Good for him, I say — and good for his mom for laughing in the principal’s face when she was told what her boy had done.
(via Boing Boing)
On CNN this morning:
Must be a slow news day.
“When I’m President” by Extreme from the album Pornograffitti (1990, 4:21).
Some things from last night’s Weblogger meetup that just popped into my head.
While Jake was interviewing Chas and I, the topic of offshoring came up. I then decided that the next time I go on vacation, I’m going to turn guest-blogging duties over to one of my regular readers that lives overseas. That way, I’ll be offshoring my blog.
Later I was standing outside with Kristin and Ian, and they commented on my Daring Fireball t-shirt, saying that they needed to make their own (their own site t-shirts, that is, not make their own bootleg Daring Fireball t-shirts, though that got some laughs). They figured that they could probably pay local kids a dollar a shirt to do some nice ghetto-style silkscreening. This led to a mix of child labor/sweat shop/offshoring jokes, culminating in my declaration that, “We only abuse local children!”
Politically correct? No.
Funny?
Definitely.
“B-Boy Stance (Freestylers Revenge)” by Freestylers feat. Tenor Fly from the album Plastic Compilation Vol. II (1997, 6:50).
See? Everyone looks better in a Utilikilt!
(Originally uploaded by Fredosan)
“Kangolicht” by Einstürzende Neubauten from the album Strategies Against Architecture II (1991, 4:16).
On my way home from work, I stopped off at the corner market, grabbed a 12-pack of Cherry Coke and a bottled water, and put them out the counter. The clerk scanned the soda, then the water…and then we both started laughing when the register displayed a total of $520,007.00.
That’s some expensive groceries.
Turns out the soda wasn’t in the computer yet, so after being scanned, it had asked for the price — and when he scanned the water, it read the UPC code as the price. Easy enough to fix, but it was a nice laugh at the end of the day.
“Happy Rave ’95 (full mix)” by Various Artists from the album Happy Rave ’95 (full mix) (1995, 1:10:03).
Amusing bits from IRS Publication 525, Taxable and Nontaxable Income, Other Income:
Bribes. If you receive a bribe, include it in your income.
Found property. If you find and keep property that does not belong to you that has been lost or abandoned (treasure-trove), it is taxable to you at its fair market value in the first year it is your undisputed possession.
Illegal income. Illegal income, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.
Kickbacks. You must include kickbacks, side commissions, push money, or similar payments you receive in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.
Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner.
For all those honest criminals out there. ;)
(via Jacqueline)
Two DJs were talking. One of them says “Hey, you should see this movie I saw the other day! It’s GREAT!”
The other one replies, “Oh, I don’t know…Who’s the projectionist?”
(via underbunny and wirehead)
‘Kumquat’ has long been one of my favorite words. It’s rather silly, fun to say, and sounds like it might be something slightly perverse, but it’s nothing more than a little orange fruit.
I just stumbled across this Fark Photoshop competition:
Theme: Replace a word in a song or movie title with the word “kumquat” and photoshop the result
I generally skip most of Fark’s photoshop threads, as they’re generally only of fair-to-middling quality, and the level of humor is often lower than I generally get a kick out of. This one I had to check out though…and I’m glad I did.
As it turned out, there were lots of good gags. As images posted to Fark tend to be transitory, I’ve snagged the best of them here. One to start with, then the rest behind the cut (it’ll be a bit image-heavy, modem users beware)…
See this?
This is what happens when I spend an entire weekend out running around and having fun, stopping by the computer just long enough to import, prepare, and upload photos.
Three thousand, five hundred, and twenty-eight unread items in my newsreader.
I’ve got a hunch I’m going to be doing a lot of skimming over the next few days.
Given that there’s more coming in every four hours when NetNewsWire refreshes, I figure I’ll get it knocked back down to zero just in time to go out and find something else to do that keeps me away for a few days…and it’ll all start over again.
I’m not sure what amuses me more: that someone would take the time to write ‘semen’ out with chewed gum, or that I’d spend the time to turn it into a cutout.
Yes, I have no life.
“One World One Sky” by Covenant from the album United States of Mind (2001, 5:01).