Enthusiastically Ambiverted Hopepunk
Things that make me laugh, or that I think will make others laugh.
While I’m sure that a benefit run to support the Seattle Animal Shelter is a very good cause, when we’re living in an era with some rather well-known odd kinks, maybe naming it the “Furry 5K” wasn’t the best choice in the world…
At least I wasn’t the only one to have that thought!
iTunes: “Mister Superstar” by Marilyn Manson from the album Antichrist Superstar (1996, 5:04).
Anybody want to redesign my site for me?
It’s gonna need pink. Lots of pink. And big, hard, nippleless breasts.
What in the world am I babbling about? Well, quite simply, I think that Shelley has a good point about some aspects of the Blogger redesign…
Speaking of looks, if you read Phil’s comments, you’ll see I was not happy about Zeldman’s Ms. Moto and Mr. Moto templates. The one for Mr. Moto shows a classic gray, very professional looking weblog with a photo of a building in one of the posts. However, the one for Ms. Moto is all in purple/pinks, and shows a photo of a Barbie doll in the example post.
What is the message from these templates? That men have professional looking sites, while women favor pink and dolls? I am surprised at an experienced man like Zeldman perpetuating this type of stereotype.
As Mark Pilgrim said in Phil’s post, yes men and women may both like pink sites. I don’t have a problem with pink; it was the gender association (not to mention the doll–was that an accident?) that grabbed me. There were other templates that also featured pink, or rose, but none of them made an association with a gender through the name.
No big deal you say? By itself, no. But after three years of girlism and baring breasts as fund raisers, not to mention being told time and again how ladies are supposed to act in this environment, and how women webloggers only write about home while men write about politics and tech–I am weary of how much weblogging promotes stereotypes. I stopped pointing out how woman don’t seem to get the same notice as men in weblogging when it comes to writing in order not to perpetuate a stereotype; the least others can do is not make associations between female bloggers and Barbie dolls.
Mark “The Pink” Pilgrim has hinted that he’ll probably do a redesign, perhaps based on pink and dolls. Dolls with big, hard nippleless breasts. If so, and I see several men sporting the new Ms. Moto look, I will be less inclined to be critical.
So, guys show me that Ms. Moto is genderless and protect Zeldman’s honor at the same time. If you have Blogger, pick that template, but don’t forget to add in a doll or two. If not, then do something comparable in your own toolset. Then I’ll know pink and dolls aren’t just ‘girly’ things, they’re also for manly mans. We’ll have a contest. Maybe Mark and Zeldman will judge.
I am so up for this. However, I’m not really that much of a designer (especially when it comes to using graphics or color), and I just dealt with the frustration of a mere tweak of this design, and I’m not terribly sure I want to start from scratch again.
So, a challenge.
If anyone out there is crazy enough to give me a design to use, I’ll use it. In fact, if I even get people telling me that they’ll work on it, I’ll go down to the local Hot Topic, blow a little money, and then send the prospective designers pictures of me to incorporate in the design (even though I’m conspicuously missing the big, hard nippleless breasts) in my 14-eye Doc Marten boots, black Utilikilt, and each of the following three shirts: the pink skull, “Pink is the new black“, and “Tough guys wear pink“.
Anybody up to this? Should anyone actually want to tackle this, I only have a few simple requests:
And really, that’s about it. I’m up for just about anything, and I’ll gladly work with someone to make sure that their ideas and design drop in here without too many issues.
Unfortunately, there’s not a lot I can offer for compensation, other than the general fun of doing it. If you come up with something that might work as repayment, though (aside from the obligatory “Design by…” link on the page), feel free to suggest it, and we’ll see what can be worked out.
iTunes: “Got Me Wrong” by Alice in Chains from the album Sap (1992, 4:12).
Brad, Brad, Brad — so close, and yet so far away.
Actor Brad Pitt said Sunday that fashion-conscious men may be wearing Greek-style skirts soon after his big-budget film about the Trojan War opens this week.
“Men will be wearing skirts by next summer. That’s my prediction and proclamation,” he said with a laugh. “The film answers to both genders. We were going for realism and Greeks wore skirts all the time then.”
Some of us don’t need to see Brad Pitt running around in a Greek-style skirt to be comfortable enough with our masculinity to wear something other than pants…and look damn good while doing it! ;)
iTunes: “Sweet Jane” by Cowboy Junkies from the album Natural Born Killers (1988, 3:23).
This one may seem a little odd (at least, that is, if you haven’t seen it linked on every other site on the ‘net yet), but it’s worth it: one man’s experience dealing with one of the ickiest digestive problems possible — a tapeworm.
Yes, the subject matter is likely to make you cringe. But it’s also incredibly well written, and if you’re not too squeamish, well worth reading.
I was leaning forward, my nails scrabbling on his desk. Some sort of living thing was eating with me, sleeping with me, sharing my childhood traumas without my permission, and was with me during those intimate moments when I achieved orgasms, with or without a consenting partner. How embarrassing.
[…]
I was already entertaining dramatic fantasies. I visualized the tapeworm securely hooked at the bottom of my throat using the spiny little stabbing things they had, its mouth ajar, and every time I ate, it ate; I drank, it swallowed; when I got caught in the rain, it stayed dry.
Of course, this reminds me of a question that Royce used to toss out every so often, just to see what sort of interesting answers he might get. The more creative the answer, the better. The question was (probably slightly paraphrased, as I’m doing this from memory)…
You discover that you’re the host of a sixteen foot tapeworm one day when half of it comes out. What do you do?
There were many good (as in hilarious, and frequently very wrong) answers given at the time, two of which have stuck with me, though I can’t remember if either of them was my answer or not.
I’m sure there were more answers worth preserving for posterity. If they’re still around anywhere, Royce would have to be the one to fess up to their existence. ;)
(via MeFi)
I love whatever algorithms Google uses for their AdSense program. Much of the time they’re dead-on, but every so often, you get some wonderfully bizarre and hilarious combinations.
For instance, upon reloading my page after adding my last post, I got the following set:
iTunes: “One Week (Dave’s Big Beat Extended)” by One Week from the album One Week (1998, 6:16).
There’s a certain irony in a publication misusing an apostrophe in an employment ad looking for an editor.
Variety.com, the premier online entertainment resource is seeking an Editor for it’s online publication.
(via Anil)
iTunes: “Limiter” by Machines of Loving Grace from the album Concentration (1993, 4:43).
Worth a few minutes of cheap amusement: Romeo and Juliet presented as ‘L33T-speak’. Somewhat painful, but funny.
(via Ryan)
iTunes: “Rock on Top” by Ugly Duckling from the album Journey to Anywhere (2002, 3:48).
I’m so glad I didn’t bother trying to watch Bush’s national address the other night on television. I would have been so busy cringing at his first sentence — “This has been tough weeks in that country.” — to even pay attention to the amazing hypnotic tie.
(via MeFi)
iTunes: “Annihilate” by Major North from the album Junior Vasquez, Vol. 2 (1997, 5:20).
Ryan found this using the LiveJournal Images script I linked to the other day…I think it’s brilliant. ;)
iTunes: “Brilliant Beat (Funky Lowlives)” by Cahachian, Maw Ft Liliana from the album Essential Chillout (2001, 6:27).
Given how incredibly silly all the controversy was, I think it’s great that Janet is spoofing her “wardrobe malfunction” — and doing it in character as Condi Rice, no less!
It was inevitable: Janet Jackson spoofing her infamous wardrobe malfunction by flashing a heavily pixillated breast on “Saturday Night Live.” The one surprise was the context. Jackson portrayed national security adviser Condoleezza Rice opening her blouse at the Sept. 11 commission hearings, in an opening skit on the comedy show.
The skit showed Vice President Dick Cheney, played by Darrell Hammond, suggesting Rice should “flash a boob” to distract the public from her testimony.
“Just one headlight, real quick,” he said. “It does two things. You win over the liberals, plus, it’s a distraction for the press. I guarantee that’s going to be the headline, not the bin Laden thing.”
Jackson, as Rice, huffily refuses.
“I am not a prude, sir, but this hearing is not the forum for that kind of lewd conduct,” she said. “There are other forums, like pay television or national sporting championships. That would be fine, but I am the national security adviser.”
Cheney reluctantly agreed. “It was Ashcroft’s idea,” he said.
iTunes: “Among Myselves” by Future Sound of London, The from the album Lifeforms (1994, 5:52).