Training fun

My current employer has a set of required training courses that all employees have to take, ranging from the standard sexual harassment training to machine-specific courses. Not a terribly big deal, generally.

Except right now, when I’m working my way through a course on Internet Explorer — a course that has an expected time to finish of three and one half hours. I just learned what an “address bar” is, what a “link” is and what happens when I click on it, and how to resize and move a browser window around on my screen.

I think I can feel my brain dribbling out of my ears.

On the bright side, these courses at least allow you to turn off the audio narration, so I can just click through the steps as quickly as possible. Hopefully, this will allow me to finish in something less than the expected time.

[Update:]{.underline}

A quick clarification on one issue that was pointed out to me. The training sessions offer audio narration, but even when you turn that off, all steps must be followed before one can advance through the course; after the course, there is a quiz to ensure that the testee has retained the information given. While turning off the audio allowed me to progress at a far faster rate than I could have otherwise, I didn’t entirely skip or disregard the training. I also passed the quiz with flying colors — yay me! :)

Now that I’m done whining, it’s back to training, where I’m currently learning all about how to search for information on the ‘net via MSN Search and Yahoo!

Wheeeeeee!

(Of course, the really ironic part to all this is that it’s web based training. On how to use the web. Hilarity ensues.)

Toilet tourism

Ever wanted to use a public toilet? Usually, they’re items to be avoided, not sought out. Seattle looks to be trying to change that, though, with our new high-tech public lavatories

The doors open and close like those on an elevator. You step in. They softly seal shut behind you.

“Welcome to Seattle’s public toilet,” says the kind of voice you might hear as you board a space ride at Disneyland.

[…]

Tour the potties at Occidental Park in Pioneer Square, Hing Hay Park in the International District, Victor Steinbrueck Park at Pike Place Market, Waterfront Park at Pier 59 and the 1800 block of Broadway on Capitol Hill.

I just may have to check one of these things out at some point…just because. ;)

(via Pops)

Just feeling a little quiet

There’s a lot of stuff out there on that in-tar-web thing these days, but I just haven’t felt terribly talkative as of late. It’s not really writers block as such, more of a general feeling of not having anything to add. It happens every so often.

The weekend’s been good, with a few days of lounging around, relaxing, and watching movies with Prairie (Lost in Translation, Donnie Darko, Willard, and Party Monster), and out to the Vogue to bounce around, flirt, and hang out with friends. All in all, a very enjoyable night.

I’ve gotten back into the eternal project of re-importing all my CDs into my computer — so far, I’m up to 6,913 songs over 583 albums in 30.38Gb, and that’s probably somewhere under halfway done. Yikes.

And…well, that’s about as exciting as things get right now. I’m sure my usual babble will resurface before terribly long. Until then, though…

iTunes: “Son of a Gun” by K.M.F.D.M. from the album XTORT (1996, 4:23).

I wanna push da button!

Okay, so this article is New York specific, but I’d be willing to bet that just about any city works the same way. But y’know…I’m probably going to keep pushing the button.

For years, at thousands of New York City intersections, well-worn push buttons have offered harried walkers a rare promise of control over their pedestrian lives.

[…]

Millions of dutiful city residents and tourists have pushed them over the years, thinking it would help speed them in their journeys. Many trusting souls might have believed they actually worked. Others, more cynical, might have suspected they were broken but pushed anyway, out of habit, or in the off chance they might bring a walk sign more quickly.

As it turns out, the cynics were right.

(via Anil)

iTunes: “Cominagetcha” by Propellerheads from the album Decksandrumsandrockandroll (1998, 7:02).

Mardi Gras

I’ll be making one of my few mid-week appearances at the Vogue tonight…

Mardi Gras at the Vogue

iTunes: “Unschuld Erde” by Das Ich from the album Relikt (Disc 1) (2003, 6:07).

Introductions

Got to introduce Jonas, Jon, and Jeannie to Fetish Night at the Vogue last night. Much fun was had by all, as far as I know, even if Jonas did give me crap for going out to dance to Depeche Mode‘s’Strangelove‘. ;)

Unfortunately, I realized halfway up the hill that I’d forgotten to grab my camera, so no incriminating evidence will be making the rounds.

iTunes: “Darkangel” by VNV Nation from the album Empires (2000, 5:28).

Safety != comfort

A few days ago, I started seeing links to Malcolm Gladwell’s excellent look at “SUV culture” and the disconnects between perceived safety and real safety. It’s an incredible read, especially if you might have ever looked longingly at the latest behemoth on the road.

Bradsher brilliantly captures the mixture of bafflement and contempt that many auto executives feel toward the customers who buy their S.U.V.s. Fred J. Schaafsma, a top engineer for General Motors, says, “Sport-utility owners tend to be more like ‘I wonder how people view me,’ and are more willing to trade off flexibility or functionality to get that.” According to Bradsher, internal industry market research concluded that S.U.V.s tend to be bought by people who are insecure, vain, self-centered, and self-absorbed, who are frequently nervous about their marriages, and who lack confidence in their driving skills. Ford’s S.U.V. designers took their cues from seeing “fashionably dressed women wearing hiking boots or even work boots while walking through expensive malls.”

[…]

The truth, underneath all the rationalizations, seemed to be that S.U.V. buyers thought of big, heavy vehicles as safe: they found comfort in being surrounded by so much rubber and steel. To the engineers, of course, that didn’t make any sense, either: if consumers really wanted something that was big and heavy and comforting, they ought to buy minivans, since minivans, with their unit-body construction, do much better in accidents than S.U.V.s…. But this desire for safety wasn’t a rational calculation. It was a feeling.

In linking to the story yesterday, Scoble mentioned the statistical ridiculousness of being comfortable driving, yet being afraid to fly.

I’ve given up in trying to correct the stupidity of my friends (stupidity in this context is the lack of ability to apply any risk analysis to their lives). I have never met one of my brother-in-laws, for instance. Why? He lives in London, England. He won’t fly. He’s afraid of flying. But he drives. Let’s see, you’re 1000 times more likely to die in a car than in a plane accident. If he’s afraid of flying he should absolutely be freaked out about driving. But he drives a bus.

The thing is, this is something that I can identify with — far better than I’d like, in fact.

I used to love flying when I was younger. My family travelled a lot, and heading to the airport and getting on a plane meant I was going somewhere new, off to see new things and explore more of the world. Nothing could have been cooler. I’d be completely jazzed from the moment we hit the airport until we landed, gazing out the window seat to watch the ground below or the movement of the wings, feeling myself sink into my seat as we rose into the air — it was great.

Then I turned 18, and — funny, this — my parents suddenly stopped paying for me to travel. I spent the next ten years in and around Anchorage, not getting on an airplane again until I flew to Fairbanks one February to DJ a dance at UAF. Suddenly, I was a little nervous — nothing major, but I was a lot more conscious of the fact that an airplane is a giant metal tube, hurtling through the air thousands of feet above the ground. It wasn’t enough to really get to me, but it was definitely there. Still, nothing major.

Until December of 2001.

I had the single worst flight I’ve ever been on on the way up. Most of it went fine, but then about half an hour before we touched down, we hit the worst turbulence I’ve ever gone through, plus multiple air pockets where the airplane would suddenly drop for a couple seconds before it caught lift again. I’ve got to say, that was the most all-out terrified I’ve ever been — one drop I might have made it through with just being a little frightened, but when it kept happening over and over, I really started to freak out. I was completely convinced that we were going down — especially when after it started happening, and when the captain came on the intercom, rather than telling us something about how we’d hit some turbulence and would we please all sit down (which, while it would be stating the obvious, would have been somewhat reassuring), all he said was, “Would the flight crew please sit down and buckle in now.” Not encouraging.

Ever since then, I’ve been terrified of flying. The sane, calm, logical part of my brain knew that it was flat-out stupid. Statistically, flying is the single safest mode of travel we have. Thousands of flights a day go all over the world without any problems. The chances of being on a flight that suddenly goes seriously bad are so slim to be almost laughable.

But it didn’t matter.

All I could think of when I got on an airplane was the feeling of that flight suddenly losing all lift, and dropping out of the sky. My head was filled with visions of this or that piece breaking, the pilots not being able to regain control, and I’d end up trapped in a giant metal coffin coming screaming out of the sky at hundreds of miles an hour. Ever bit of turbulence, every random sound the airplane made as it flew, and I’d be white-knuckling the armrests, closing my eyes, and doing my best to find whatever mental “happy place” I could until it was all over. My last couple flights, I took to dosing myself with Sominex just before takeoff — it wouldn’t knock me out, but it did at least calm me enough that I wasn’t completely freaking out.

I think that part of what triggered the extreme reaction, both during the flight that initially scared me so much and during subsequent flights, was the feeling of lack of control. When I’m in a car (especially when driving), I know that I’m in control of the vehicle, and if anything goes wrong (from mechanical problems with the car I’m driving to bad road conditions to other idiot drivers on the road), it’s up to me to make sure that I’ll make it out alive. If I survive (and even better, if I survive unscathed), wonderful — and if I don’t, then at least I can be sure that I did everything I could.

In an airplane, though, I have no control. I’m just a passenger, and an even more powerless passenger than I would be in a car or bus. Driving, even if I’m not the one behind the wheel, than if the driver suddenly conked out, than I know that I have the ability to take the wheel if need be (this may not be very realistic, but it could happen). Flying, however, there’s absolutely nothing I can do if something goes wrong. No matter what the situation is, all I could do is sit in my seat, ride it out, and hope and pray that we land safely. That feeling of powerlessness, of lack of control over my world, definitely plays a part in why I was so scared.

Not to mention the silly little fact that if a car suddenly loses power, you can generally coast to the side of the road, come to a stop, and get out to troubleshoot. If an airplane loses power, you’ve got however long it takes to fall 13,000 feet before you can kiss your ass goodbye. That definitely doesn’t help when a frightened brain is concocting worst-case scenarios.

Thankfully, that fear of flying seems to be lessening. My flights down to Memphis for my brother’s wedding weren’t nearly as nervewracking as other flights have been, and I didn’t even need the Sominex for the return leg of the trip. I won’t say I’m entirely over the fear — there were definitely some nervous moments — but it wasn’t anywhere near as strong as it had been in the recent past.

I’m actually somewhat curious (though not very, really) if dad was using some of his psychology techniques to subject me to “immersion therapy”, as I went from a 737 (or some other “normal” sized airliner) for the Seattle to Cincinnati flight, to a little 50-seater twin-engine for the Cincinnati to Memphis flight…and then going back from Memphis to Cincinnati ended up on a 32-seater! Considering that each plane was getting successively smaller, I was really starting to wonder if a Piper Cub could make the Cincinnati to Seattle leg of the flight. Thankfully, though, I was back on a 737 (or some other “normal” sized airliner) for that leg.

Anyway, all this boils down to is that just because you know you are safe in a given vehicle or situation doesn’t mean that you’re going to be comfortable. I knew my fear of flying was ridiculous. Unfortunately, I spent about three years powerless to do anything about it.

Of course, all this doesn’t keep me from sharing in the belief that SUVs are ridiculously stupid, overpowered, underprotected, gas-guzzling, ugly, pointless vehicles that should be banned for anyone not living down at least fifteen miles of unpaved road. ;)

Why the genealogy bug?

Because it makes history real.

When I was younger, I claimed (only slightly tongue-in-cheek) that I couldn’t get into history because, “you meet all these interesting people — but they’re all dead!”

Thankfully, that attitude has changed as I’ve aged, and I’m constantly finding history more and more interesting. One of the big triggers for that change was the first time I started digging through the box of genealogical records that floats around our family, during one of its trips through our household. At first it was just idle curiosity, but then I started reading…

Random recollections of what’s contained in that box:

One family line can be traced back to Richard Warren, who came to America on the Mayflower.

The line of mom’s maiden name — Ward — can only be traced back a few generations. The popular theory is that a few generations back, the “family founder” was an orphan, and therefore a “ward of the state.” Hence, the family name of Ward.

One of my ancestors ran a stop on the Underground Railroad during the civil war.

During the westward expansion of America, one family lived in a little cabin somewhere out on the woods. One day the mother and father were off somewhere, leaving the children in charge of the oldest child, who was around ten or twelve, I believe. During the time they were gone, he realized that there was a mountain lion (cougar?) stalking the house, and he had to find his father’s gun and kill the predator before it made off with one of the younger children.

During the Revolutionary War, one ancestor fighting for the colonies was captured by the British. During the review of the prisoners on board a British ship, the captain stopped in front of him — it was his brother. They retired to the captains cabin and spent the next few hours in debate, each trying to convince the other to switch sides. Neither succeeded, the captured brother was set free, and neither brother saw the other again.

These are all things that when you read about them in the history books, they often just provoke a “huh…that’s neat” reaction. But when I sat there and read through these stories as they related to myself and my family, they resonated with me in a way they never had before, and suddenly it was all a lot more real to me.

I’m really looking forward to being able to get back into all this again.

Can you tell? :)

iTunes: “Sky Is Broken, The” by Moby from the album Play (1999, 4:18).

More on the genealogy project

I spent some time last night following up on playing around with software for tracking my family’s history on our website. So far, things are actually looking fairly good — with the one caveat that I only have so much information in my head.

The first piece to the puzzle is GEDitCOM, a Mac OS X application that reads and writes standard GEDCOM files (I had no idea that there was a standard file for genealogy software before I started looking into all this). While it’s not the prettiest application in the world, it does appear to be very powerful, and I’m quite pleasantly surprised by the amount of information that the GEDCOM format supports.

Of course, I’m not sure why I’m surprised — I’m obviously not the first person to look into how to track all this information using a computer. I guess we all just like to think that we’re the first to come up with a good idea… ;)

The second piece is the web package I stumbled across the other day — PhpGedView. A set of PHP scripts, it was very easy to install and get up and running, all I had to do was copy the scripts into a directory on the webserver, tweak the permissions on two files and one directory, and I could log into the interface and start putting things together. Again, it’s not as pretty as it could be, but it does look like nearly (if not entirely) all of the functionality that I was looking for is there.

Once PhpGedView is installed, all you need to do is upload a standard GEDCOM file and PhpGedView parses it and creates the final website. Here’s the one spot where I ran into problems: each time I uploaded the GEDCOM file that GEDitCOM created, PhpGedView wasn’t able to parse it correctly, and I got a bunch of garbage data.

Turns out that the solution is fairly simple, and ties into an age-old issue between Mac and PC file formats. Mac systems use a different character to signify the end of a line than PC (DOS/*NIX) systems do, and when the scripts tried to import the GEDCOM file, they saw it as one really really really long line. I was able to get around this by running the file through BBEdit and switching the line break style, I’m sure there are many utilities to do just that floating around the ‘net for people who don’t have BBEdit.

Once I got that figured out, the import went smoothly, and as a result, the first version of our family tree is up. It’s very bare-bones at the moment (though not as bare-bones as it looks at first — just click around and experiment a bit to move around the tree), but mom promised to send me copies of the family’s “history box”. Once I get that and pop more information in, the tree will look a lot less sparse than it does at the moment.

Even better, though, is that PhpGedView does handle one of the bigger items on my wishlist — user accounts with editing ability. I’ll need to put together a simple “user’s manual/how-to”, but this will allow other people in the family to add and edit information to the database. Once changes are made, I can then download the updated GEDCOM file from PhpGedView to my computer, re-import it into GEDitCOM, and keep all the information synced between my personal workspace and the website. Not bad at all!

Every few years of my life, the genealogy bug has bit me — now that it has again, it’s great that I’ve got the technology at my fingertips to be able to store and present it like this.

Now, mom — about that box… ;)

iTunes: “I Was Walking” by Poems for Laila from the album On a Wednesday (2002, 2:50).

Soundtrack to a wedding

One of the many nice things that came of Kev and Emily’s wedding was their interpretation of the Alaskan “potlatch” tradition, in which the hosts of a large gathering pass out small thank-you gifts to the people who attended. During the wedding reception, they passed out CDs they had made with a selection of songs special to the two of them.

Here are the songs that they chose to represent them at this point in their life:

  1. Billie Holiday: All of Me
  2. Bob Marley and the Wailers: Sugar, Sugar
  3. Crosby, Stills and Nash: Helplessly Hoping
  4. Dolly Parton: Travelin’ Prayer
  5. Lauryn Hill: Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You
  6. Joni Mitchell: A Case of You
  7. Edgar Meyer and Joshua Bell: Short Trip Home
  8. Nanci Griffith: If Wishes Were Changes
  9. Jimmy Cliff: Sitting in Limbo
  10. Tracy Chapman: The Promise
  11. John Prine: Angel from Montgomery
  12. Robin Dale Ford: Where I Am Bound
  13. Super Bass: Blue Monk
  14. Bob Dylan: Shelter From the Storm
  15. Nickel Creek: When You Come Back Down
  16. Arlo Guthrie: Darkest Hour