Sad to see the news of Val Kilmer’s death. While he did a lot of good stuff over the years, my personal favorite is and has always been one of his earlier films, Real Genius.
As a too-smart-for-my-own-good kid (in many ways, the classic “nerd”: glasses, unruly curly hair, big gap in my teeth, played the violin, read constantly — mostly science fiction, got into computers really early, got beat up and shoved in lockers by bullies, etc.), Real Genius was foundational. It was the first (and is still one of the few) comedies I saw where the nerds were the heroes, and where their quirkiness, oddity, and intelligence was celebrated rather than mocked. (Revenge of the Nerds may purport to have nerds as its heroes, but it mocks, not celebrates.)
While I wasn’t genius level smart, of course, these were characters that I could identify with (in Mitch), aspire to be like (in Chris), see what to avoid (in Kent and Hathaway), and fall for (in Jordan). They saw the world in much the same way I did. Big and scary and intimidating, but also funny and intriguing and mysterious, and something to be explored and enjoyed. They accepted each other in all of their weirdness.
It has one of the most start-to-finish quotable scripts I’ve ever come across, and lines from it regularly pop into my mind. It’s one I never tire of watching, and I think I need to queue it up again sometime soon.
Some other times I’ve mentioned Real Genius here in the past:
- 2002, when I picked up the DVD, along with Legend, mentioned my love of the film, and that these films have two of my foundational crushes: Real Genius‘s Jordan, and Legend‘s Lily (particularly once in the black dress).
- 2006, when I took an online quiz of my knowledge of the film, and scored highly.
- 2007, when I took a “which character are you?” quiz and scored as Jordan, which entertained me, and gave me a reason to note that that character was heavily based on a real person.
Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning…
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No…
Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?Mitch: What are you doing?
Chris Knight: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, “… I drank what?”Chris Knight: So, if there’s anything I can do for you – or, more to the point, to you – just let me know.
Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Susan: A girl’s gotta have her standards.Chris Knight: This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.
Kent: You’re all a bunch of degenerates.
Chris Knight: We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jell-O?
Kent: You did not.
Chris Knight: This is true.
Kent: Look, it was hot and I was hungry, okay?Professor Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab.
Chris Knight: Fine. I’ll gain weight.Mitch: Did you know there’s a guy living in our closet?
Chris Knight: You’ve seen him too?
Mitch: Who is he?
Chris Knight: Hollyfeld.
Mitch: Why does he keep going into our closet?
Chris Knight: Why do you keep going into our closet?
Mitch: To get my clothes – but that’s not why he goes in there.
Chris Knight: Of course not, he’s twice your size – your clothes would never fit him.
Mitch: Yeah…
Chris Knight: Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?Dr. Dodd: Why is that toy on your head?
Chris Knight: Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes.Professor Hathaway: You still run?
Chris Knight: Only when chased.