Michael Hanscom

Enthusiastic ambivert. Geeky, liberal, friendly, curious, hopepunk; trying to be a good person. (he/him)

May Meetup

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Had a good time at the Webloggers Meetup last night. There were a few new faces in attendance, and lots of kids, which was fun — Jon and his wife Joy brought their three kiddos (Jon got a really nice profile shot of me, too), and Eric was there with his really cute little boy.

Some time ago at one of the Jason Webley concerts, a girl had come up to me and told me that I was apparently a doppelganger for her husband. Turns out that she and her husband were there last night, and after the story was told, a few of the people around us agreed that yes, there’s definitely a resemblance. Apparently it’s not quite as close as it was a while ago — I’ve let my hair grow out, and he’s shaved off his face fuzz — but if I’m going to have a twin running around town, I could certainly do worse than Matt May.

Much of the fun of the evening came not from those of us gathered for the Meetup, though, but instead from across the street where the hardcore Star Wars fans were lining up for that evening’s 12:01am first showing of Episode III. We’d all keep our eye on the crowd as we chatted, and occasionally the cry would go up — “Stormtrooper costume!” or “There’s Chewbacca!” or “Jawas!” — and a few of us would grab our cameras and head over to grab a few shots.

Best moment of the night, though?

Walking past the line of Star Wars fans, and having a kid in jeans, sweatshirt, and Darth Vader helmet point at my kilt and laugh.

Amused me to no end, that did…

iTunes “Rock the Casbah (Hot Tracks)” by Clash, The from the album Hot Tracks 15th Anniversary Collectors Edition (1997, 6:36).

Back again…

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No clue why, but for some reason my DSL modem apparently froze up somewhere around 3pm this afternoon. I’ve reset it and we’re back up and running, but it looks like my site was effectively down for about two hours.

I’m sure the 30 people who might have tried to stop by were heartbroken.

iTunes “Revolution Rock” by Clash, The from the album London Calling (Legacy Edition) (1979, 3:51).

Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

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  1. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
  2. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual processors if I am to do battle with this code!
  3. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.
  4. Indentation?! — I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
  5. What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software ‘releases’. Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
  6. Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters’ — they have ‘arguments’ — and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
  7. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
  8. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
  9. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
  10. By filing this SCR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
  11. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
  12. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!

Seeing as how old school programmers think like Klingon programmers, I believe that it can be reasonably assumed that all old programmers are Klingon.

(Found on /.)

AdSense for Feeds

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Looks like the inevitable intrusion of advertising into RSS feeds just gained a major player, as Google‘s Adsense for Feeds program has just been announced.

On the one hand, I can kind of see where quite a few people might be happy about this. As more and more people read their news through RSS feeds, fewer people are as likely to visit a website and see their ads, and revenue drops.

At the same time — hey, that’s one of the things I like about RSS feeds. While I’ve not yet unsubscribed from a feed because it started carrying advertising, it is a little bit annoying. Not very, at this stage, as so far all the ads are at the tail end of each post and can easily be ignored, but I’d still be happier without ads.

So, while I do use Google’s AdSense program on my site (as unobtrusively as possible while still allowing for the occasional check to hit my mailbox), I’ll not be dropping ads into any of my RSS feeds. The way I figure it, the miniscule amount of extra revenue it might generate isn’t at all offset by the annoyance it could cause my readers (and since the ads annoy me, I’ll work on the assumption that they probably annoy others, too).

iTunes “Lords of the Rhymes (Kool-Aid Brothers)” by Lords of the Rhymes (2003, 5:03).

Enterprise No More

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It’s sad, really — for a show meant to continue the fine tradition of boldly going where no man has gone before (or no one, in the more politically-correct TNG era), all Enterprise managed to do was boldly go where no Trek series had gone before.

Straight into the tank.

I started watching Enterprise when it debuted, gave up midway through the first season (when I discovered that first-season TNG was a far better show), then ignored it until I started hearing rumors that this last season was actually watchable. I’ve been using bittorrent to watch season four, and while it’s admittedly better than the first season…well, really, it doesn’t take much to be better than the first season.

Tonight I finished things off, watching the end of the two-part arc following the derailment of the first effort at laying the foundation for the future United Federation of Planets, then following that up with the final episode of Enterprise.

(SPOILERS follow, if you care.)

First things first: while the two episodes immediately preceding the finale were decent — though I’d hesitate to collectively rate them any better than that (individually, the first half was definitely the better of the two) — the single biggest thing that stuck in my mind after watching them?

It’s really hard to take the leader of Earth’s government seriously when you’re expecting him to at any moment suddenly morph into a giant demon snake and start munching delegates right and left.

Samuels

Nothing against actor Harry Groener, of course, but his role as Sunnydale’s Mayor Wilkins in Buffy has been so indelibly burned into my brain that it was all I could do to keep from giggling when he first appeared on screen.

As for Enterprise’s finale episode…meh. I’d say a big “meh,” except that “meh” is such an apathetic term of disgust that give it any sort of emphasis is rather oxymoronic.

First off, it wasn’t really an Enterprise episode, but rather a TNG episode with a lot of Holodeck re-enactments of events set at the end of Enterprise’s 10-year mission (six years after the last actual episodes we saw) and around the signing of the accord that forms the alliance that would eventually grow into the UFP. While it’s kind of nice to see Riker and Troi walking the corridors of NCC-1701-D again…it just doesn’t feel right as an end to this series. Rather, it comes off as last, final, desperate ploy by the Powers that Be to do anything possible to drag a few more viewers to the show.

Secondly, the TNG-era framing story for this episode is set during the events of the seventh season TNG epsiode The Pegasus. Without meaning any disrespect to either Marina Sirtis or Jonathan Frakes, it’s been around eleven years since The Pegasus was filmed, and while they’re both aging well, they’re not exactly identical to their appearance a decade ago. I could even have forgiven that for the sake of the story (though it would have been easier if the overall story was better), but apparently the makeup artists didn’t even bother to reference The Pegasus for this Enterprise episode.

Here we have a screencap (actually a composite of two screencaps) from The Pegasus:

TNG Troi and Riker

And here we have a screencap from These are the Voyages…:

ENT Troi and Riker

Minor things like the ten years of aging aren’t really terribly obvious. Marina’s face has thinned out a bit, and they’re both slightly heavier than they were during TNG’s run, but that’s not really that big of a deal. Amusingly, though, it means that Troi is actually curvier now than she was at the time (compare the shadows underneath her bust, for example), and I remember how much grumbling there was about her being little more than Trek’s version of T&A (that being Tits and an Accent). Of course, 7 of 9 and T’Pol were far more blatant about appealing to the teenage male demographic that way, but back in the TNG days, poor Troi got a lot of ribbing about being little more than eye candy.

More blatantly, though, is that the hairstyle is just wrong for both of them. Apparently when they’re not busy dealing with intragalactic incidents, the crew of NCC-1701-D spent all their free time in the hair salon. Troi is sporting a straighter, more natural hairstyle far closer to what she had in the movies than the heavily permed style of the original show, while Riker’s hair is less slicked back and comes complete with a Superman-style forelock falling across his forehead.

Nitpicking? Sure, and I’ll freely admit it. But if they’re going to not just pander to the old TNG fans by bringing back Troi and Riker, but actually place their framing story within an already existing episode, you’d think they could take a few minutes to pop the DVD in and do their best to match the actors appearances.

But then, given Enterprise’s notorious disregard for Trek canon, I suppose that this wasn’t really that much of a surprise.

Anyway. Continuing on.

Bringing Shran back for the rescue of his daughter seemed to serve two purposes only: to bring back one of the few interesting characters Enterprise has produced (and to give Jeffrey Combs — a fan favorite, and quite deservedly so, in my opinion, I’ve enjoyed all of the characters he’s played — one last star turn); and to come up with an excuse to waste half the hour on pointless “action”.

Oh, and to set up Trip’s demise…which, amazingly enough, actually comes across as even more pointless than Kirk’s death in ‘Generations’. At least when Kirk died he was trying to save his career the galaxy from a madman. Trip died so that Archer wouldn’t miss a speech. Oooh. Quite the noble sacrifice, that.

And speaking of the speech — we don’t even see it! We finally get to the historic moment when the charter establishing the alliance between Earth, Vulcan, Andoria, and Tellar Prime, Archer strides to the stage to make what we’re told is a historic speech…and Riker tells the Holodeck to “end program” and he and Troi stride out onto the corridors of the Enterprise D.

Meh.

Other random observations before I end this little rant…

  1. I’m sorry, Quantum Leap fans, but Bakula has never impressed me. Truth to tell, his intentional overacting and chewing of the scenery in the Mirror Universe episodes of a few weeks ago doesn’t really seem that different to me than his normal portrayal of Captain Archer. Plus, considering that he just senselessly lost one of his closest friends, his face never lost the bemused little “I can’t believe I’m getting paid for this tripe” smirk after Trip’s death. Does he have other expressions?

  2. What was T’Pol doing after Archer hugged her? I could understand her being a little uncomfortable with this sudden show of affection, but…she just kind of wobbles. She holds her right hand out at an odd angle, and gives a slight, unsteady sway from the hips up. It’s really, really odd.

  3. Did nobody on the NX-01 ever get promoted or change their jobs in the slightest over the ten years that the ship was in service? When the show opened Mayweather was at the helm, Sato was at the communications station, Reed was doing whatever he does…and ten years later, they’re all in exactly the same place (well, okay, Trip moved to Engineering…then died). No advancement? No promotions? How incredibly boring. The crew of the Enterprise-D at least showed a little motivation, changed things up, and actually grew over time. As far as this last episode shows, the crew of the NX-01 was depressingly static.

  4. Wasn’t anyone curious or concerned about how the bad guys who everyone thought were limited to Warp 2 — Shran even mentions that his shuttle should be able to easily outrun them at Warp 4 — were somehow able to catch up to a top-of-the-line Starfleet ship running at Warp 7, engage it in battle, and board it without any real trouble at all?

Meh.

I wish the head of Earth’s government had turned into a giant demon snake and started munching on people. Right during the signing ceremony. Start with Archer, then finish off the rest of the Enterprise crew (except for Sato, who’s more than welcome to run around in her skimpy lingerie from the Mirror Universe episode as much as she likes…especially in my apartment) before Buffy magically transports a few hundred years into the future thanks to the help of Willow and a mysterious amulet that Giles found hidden underneath the school’s library, slays the demon, and tosses a few bad puns over her shoulder on her way back to Sunnydale.

At least that would have been a finale worth watching.

Seattlest

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Something I meant to mention a bit ago, but spaced — I’ve recently become one of the contributing authors to Seattlest, the Seattle-centric group weblog run by the Gothamist empire.

I’m tracking any posts I toss onto Seattlest on my del.icio.us account for quick access, and my posts can also be found via this listing on the Seattlest site. Lastly, here’s my author bio.

Getting involved was actually pretty flattering, as I was actually invited in, thanks to one of the local editors reading Eclecticism and keeping an eye on my Flickr photostream. Hard to say “no” to an invitation like that!

iTunes “Silo, No. 5 – Three” by User, The from the album Abandon (2003, 2:31).

Bittorrent trackers?

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I hate to have to ask this, but two of the three trackers I knew about appear to be dead (TvTorrents went down a few weeks ago, and btefnet seems to have disappeared over the last week), and the third (novatina) has redesigned, isn’t quite as easy to navigate, and — most egregiously — doesn’t seem to have the last two episodes of Enterprise posted (4-21 “Terra Prime” and 4-22 “These are the Voyages“, respectively). Since they normally go up within 24 hours of broadcast, I’m rather surprised that they don’t seem to be on there yet.

Anybody know of any other good trackers out there? My Google-fu did me no good whatsoever, and as long as Season Four of Enterprise has been a bit more watchable than prior seasons, I’d kind of like to see how it all wraps up.

Pop-Lock

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Pop-n-lockApple’s just posted their latest iPod commercial, this one titled ‘Pop-Lock’, after the style of dance in the video.

Watching it, I’m struck by two things.

  1. Daft Punk still bores me. The only time I could ever get “into” most Daft Punk songs was when I was under the influence of acid, and as I stopped bothering with recreational pharmaceuticals a few years back…well, that ended any real interest in Daft Punk.

  2. Is there any real difference between what’s now called “Pop-Lock” (or “Pop-n-Lock”, as I’ve generally heard it) and what used to be called “The Robot” back in the 80’s heyday of breakdancing? I can’t really see much difference at all, if any.

iTunes “Rock Star (Jason Nevins Edit)” by N.E.R.D. from the album Rock Star (2003, 7:42).

Uptime? What uptime?

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Prairie and I were in the midst of getting ready for dinner and a movie on Friday evening (which consists of Prairie cooking while I make appreciative “yum!” noises as I sniff the air) when suddenly all the power in my apartment went out. Power outage? The building across the street still had power…and so did the hallway in my building, as did my neighbor (who, as always, is quite happy to provide his own soundtrack to my life).

Crud. My apartment had no power. I checked the breaker box in my apartment, but all four breakers looked fine…and besides, with four breakers, any one of them popping would take out part of the apartment, not the whole thing. This wasn’t looking good.

After a bit of panicking, I tracked down the emergency number for the power company and gave them a call. After being reassured that my power hadn’t been turned off — even though I’m a bit behind on that bill, even the power company isn’t grouchy enough to kill someone’s power at 7:30 at night, long after the customer service center has closed for the weekend — we determined that it had to be the master breaker for my apartment.

Circuit breaker box, Alfaretta Apartments, Seattle, WAI wandered out into the hall and started looking for an obvious breaker box. Sure enough, there were some promising-looking boxes at the end of the hallway. Two smaller boxes, one with a single breaker switch, and two larger boxes. Not knowing which was which, I popped open the smaller of the two large boxes.

Circuit breaker box, Alfaretta Apartments, Seattle, WABingo — circuit breakers. Old circuit breakers, to be sure, but circuit breakers. I found the breakers for my apartment (all the way at the very top, of course), found the dead one, and swapped it out with a new breaker from the small pile conveniently left at the bottom of the breaker box. This is pretty old technology, which amuses me — the breakers are about the size of the base of a light bulb, and screw into their sockets. But hey, it works. Plus, there’s these three intimidating-looking things at the bottom of the breaker box — I’ve got no clue what they are, but they look pretty cool.

I was curious, though, about what was in that second, larger box, since all the breakers for the units on my floor were in this box. So, I popped it open — and immediately my eyes went wide and I took a small step backwards. I’m not often faced with “Yikes!” moments, but…

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Disneyland Memorial Orgy

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It was one of the most notorious images on the ‘net when I first got online back in ’91, one passed around in various low-resolution copies, found here and there in various directories of “naughty” images — a black-and-white drawing of many of the classic Disney characters involved in a mass orgy.

Disney Memorial Orgy

Boing Boing just pointed to an LA Weekly story by Paul Krassner detailing the source of the infamous image, which dates back to 1966 and was drawn by Mad Magazine illustrator Wally Wood.

When Walt Disney died, in 1966, I somehow expected Mickey and Donald Duck and all the rest of the gang to attend the funeral, with Goofy delivering the eulogy and the Seven Dwarfs serving as pallbearers. Disney was their Creator, and he repressed all his characters’ baser instincts, but now that he had departed, they could finally shed their cumulative inhibitions and participate together in an unspeakable Roman binge, to signify the crumbling of an empire.

On behalf of my magazine, The Realist, I contacted Mad’s Wally Wood and, without mentioning any specific details, told him my general notion of a memorial orgy at Disneyland. He accepted the assignment and presented me with a magnificently degenerate montage….

The best news in the article, though, comes at the very end, when Paul reveals that he recently found a crate of posters of the image that he’d had printed back in 1967 — and they’re for sale on his website! $20 for a 14.5″x23″ poster print of one of the earliest and most notorious pieces of “Disney Porn“? Oh yeah — that baby’s mine!