Michael Hanscom

Enthusiastic ambivert. Geeky, liberal, friendly, curious, hopepunk; trying to be a good person. (he/him)

Troy in 15 Minutes

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Too, too funny: Troy in Fifteen Minutes.

Some Battlefield

AGAMEMNON: Look, there’s no reason for me to slaughter thousands of your men. You pick out your best soldier, and I pick out mine.

KING OF THESSALY: Deal. [turns to his army] SOME GUYYYYY!

THESSALIAN ARMY: SOME! GUY! SOME! GUY! SOME! GUY!

Some Guy breaks through the crowd. His neck resembles an Easter ham and his spear is the size of a telephone pole.

SOME GUY: RAAAAAAAAA!

AGAMEMNON [turning to his army]: ACHILLEEEEEES!

GREEK ARMY: . . .

AGAMEMNON: . . .

Hut of Wanton Nudity, Some Village

BOY: OMG Achilles you’re late you gotta get up Achilles OMG!

ACHILLES: Dude, I just nailed twins. Call me in the morning.

(via Boing Boing)

iTunes: “Dreamers” by Music Makers, The from the album Junior Vasquez, Vol. 2 (1998, 8:29).

If only I had a bit more under my belt

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Anil’s post about moving from New York to the Bay area for Six Apart prompted me to go take a curious look at the Six Apart jobs listings.

As much as I enjoy being something of a “jack-of-all-trades” in my computer experience — lots of experience across a wide range of fields — the downside is a lack of comprehensive knowledge in nearly any field. It’s a shame, too, because I think I’m about 80% qualified for a job at Six Apart.

Web Designer/Developer

Terms: Salaried Employee with benefits (Medical, Vision, Dental and Vacation)
Hours: Full Time
Onsite: Yes, required. (San Mateo, CA)
Reports to: Lead Designer

Description:
Six Apart (http://www.sixapart.com/), the company behind the Movable Type and TypePad weblogging systems/services, is growing and we’re looking for a Web Designer/Developer with a combination of strong HTML and CSS abilities and graphic design skills. You will be asked to design and implement elements into existing web applications and websites while maintaining existing UI branding.

The ideal candidate will be hardworking, with a willingness to learn and understands the importance of user experience and brand consistency.

An online portfolio of work is required for consideration.

Whoops, there’s one problem — I don’t exactly have an online portfolio. Only two of my current four stylesheets are mine (and one is really no stylesheet), and my only other “live” design work is the remnants of an old design on my DJ Wüdi propaganda page and a circa-1995 frames-based site for Gig’s Music Theatre left online as a memorial.

What You’ll Be Doing:

  • Design and implement elements into existing web applications and websites while maintaining existing UI branding
  • Work with other members of the Six Apart team to develop solutions to a variety of design-related projects
  • Work with the Six Apart team to help evolve Six Apart’s weblogging products based on user experience and market demands

I think I’m good on all of those. I don’t have any “official” design experience, really, but it’s something I’ve tinkered with from time to time in everything from my websites to a few custom FileMaker Pro databases at my old print shop in Anchorage to redesigning an internal Xerox/Microsoft website for the MSCopy printshop (which, unfortunately, had its plug pulled by the Powers That Be when they decided to move to a .NET based solution rather than a Java based solution), and I’ve generally received good remarks on how things end up being put together.

Requirements:

  • Strong knowledge of basic design principles: page layout, typography, color theory as it applies to the web

Two out of three I think I’m okay on: page layout (dating back to my days as Layout Editor for my High School yearbook) and typography (again, no real training, but I think I’ve got a decent feel for it — though at the same time, I’m sure I could learn a lot). Color theory, though…as is evidenced by my last few site designs, to paraphrase Henry Ford, I’ll do any color you like, so long as it’s grey. ;)

  • Expert-level experience in coding HTML and CSS is required

Hmm. I’d rate myself as extremely good, possibly even approaching expert with my HTML skills. CSS, though, I’m still very much learning, and it would be foolish for me to try to pass myself off as an expert.

  • Mastery and understanding of Web standards a requirement
  • Proven design skills for developing web interfaces with a focus on user experience

The first one, I can pretty confidently say I’m solid on. The design skills…as I mentioned above, I’m untrained, but have generally received compliments.

  • Thorough knowledge of Photoshop, Illustrator, Powerpoint

I’ve been dabbling in Photoshop for years, but that’s it. Illustrator I can muddle my way through simple stuff, but bezier curves have always confused me. PowerPoint I had to fight with when I was working at MSCopy, and was never very fond of it. With all three, though, I’m pretty confident that I could dramatically increase my skill level if I was using them on a regular basis — I just wouldn’t be coming in with the highest level of expertise.

  • Excellent organizational and communication skills, works well with a team
  • Independent problem solving skills; flexibility to meet tight deadlines
  • The ideal candidate will possess excellent attention to detail and a positive attitude and strong interpersonal skills

I have no doubts about my abilities here. Over a decade of customer service in high-volume, quick-turnaround print shops requires all of those points, and I’ve always gotten consistently good remarks during my personnel reviews. At least there’s something I can be confident about! ;)

Desired Skills:

  • Experience in JavaScript and DHTML a plus
  • Knowledge of Flash is a plus
  • Working knowledge of CVS a plus
  • Familiarity with weblogs a plus

Ouch. Of those four, the only one I can rightfully claim is the last one. The first three — sorry, but those are just not in my skill set. As with my comments above regarding Photoshop, Illustrator, and PowerPoint, I’m fairly confident that given the opportunity, I could come up to speed fairly quickly, but I’d definitely be coming in on the ground level, if that.

Contact Information:

Please apply with cover letter (plain text) and résumé to jobs@sixapart.com.

Please include a resume and link to online portfolio and/or recent work. If providing list of sites that you have worked on, you must include an explanation about your role on that project. Online portfolios are preferred.

Please also include salary requirements.

Much as I’d love to apply, I’m afraid that my limitations — which I try to be aware of and realistic about, without exaggerating them to the point of talking myself out of good opportunities — are enough of a hindrance that I’d easily fall by the wayside to other, more experienced applicants.

A shame, too. While I was also swept up in the recent licensing controversy, I’ve been using either MovableType or TypePad for two and a half years now (since Dec. 21st, 2003, in fact), have no intentions of leaving TypePad anytime soon, and have generally liked what I’ve seen of the folks at Six Apart. Heck, they even put up with me triggering TypePad’s first Slashdotting! From everything I’ve seen, the chance to work with the Six Apart crew could be quite enjoyable, certainly a lot more so than my current job, and quite possibly well worth uprooting myself and moving down the West Coast a bit to the Bay area.

Ah, well. For now, I suppose I’ll just keep tinkering around, and see if I can’t increase the sphere of my “jack-of-all-trades” knowledge to include some more of the skills listed above that I’m lacking. Maybe they’ll still be hiring in a year or so…

Bad code! No biscuit!

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Codepoet, while discussing ways to quickly edit and preview HTML and CSS code, pointed out a program called HyperEdit, which contains a “live preview” pane to show the rendered code as you type it out. It sounded interesting, so I went to check it out…and cringed.

One of the first things on the page is this screenshot:

HyperEdit screenshot

First — the <center> tag, which is deprecated in current HTML.

Next — the <font> tag — also deprecated.

Next — the use of <i>Fast.</i> rather than the more semantically correct <em>Fast.</em>.

Last — the two closing tags that are both missing their final > character.

Sorry, guys, but if I’m seeing four cringeworthy examples of bad HTML code within the first couple seconds of visiting your page, you could have a program that makes BBEdit look like Microsoft FrontPage and I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously.

But maybe that’s just me.

iTunes: “Tourniquet (Prosthetic Dance)” by Marilyn Manson from the album Remix and Repent (1997, 4:10).

Good point

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I’d rather be shot than vote for Bush at gunpoint. After all, I can recover from a gunshot wound in, say, a couple months. Voting for Bush, well, that takes four years.

— Phil, via IM tonight

Mac OS X vulnerability

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News broke across the ‘net over the past day or so that there is a verifiable, serious security threat under Mac OS X 10.3 (Panther) involving Safari (or any other web browser) and the Help viewer application.

What’s going on is that Mac OS X maps different “helper applications” to handle different protocols as you surf around the internet. A ‘net address that begins with http:// is handled by Safari (or your default web browser), an address that begins with ftp:// is handled by the Finder’s built-in FTP, and so on.

By default, the help:// protocol is handed off to Apple’s Help application, which (no big surprise here) is a viewer for documentation for OS X applications. Some documentation is stored locally on your hard drive, but Apple wanted to make it easy for updates to the documentation to be added, so Help also has the ability to fetch documents over the ‘net — essentially, it’s a stripped-down web browser. And that’s where the vulnerability kicks in.

While Safari has built-in controls to prevent malicious attacks, the Help viewer does not. It is able to run scripts that are fed to it, and can do so with the full user permissions of whichever user is logged in to the machine at the moment.

In this rather disturbing example of the exploit, the web page makes a help:// call, which launches the Help application. Help is then directed to an Applescript which is fed the terminal command ‘du‘ (disk usage, I believe), which presents a scrolling list of all the files on your hard drive inside a terminal window. Now, this is just an example, so it’s harmless — but if the Applescript or the terminal command had been more malicious in nature, some serious damage could have been done.

Luckily, the fix for this is quite simple:

  1. In Safari, go to Safari > Preferences…. In the “General” settings pane, uncheck “Open ‘safe’ files after downloading.”
  2. Download and install the ~~More Internet Preference Pane~~ [RCDefaultApp preference pane]{.underline}.
  3. Open your System Preferences (Apple Menu > System Preferences…) and go to the ~~More Internet~~ RCDefaultApp{.underline} preference pane (it should be at the very bottom of the System Preferences window).
  4. Scroll down the protocol list and click on the ‘help’ protocol, then ~~change that to an application other than Safari or Help — many people are recommending changing it to the Chess game application, as it’s harmless and will provide a distinct visual clue that something has happened~~ [set it to ‘\<disabled>’. Do the same for the ‘disk’ and ‘disks’ protcols]{.underline}.
  5. There is no step 5. You’re done!

(via lots and lots of people)

Update: John Gruber recommends another application for the same approach, as MoreInternet doesn’t show the disk:// and disks:// protocols that can also be used for this attack.

iTunes: “Coda” by Webley, Jason from the album Only Just Beginning (2004, 10:10).

Battling the blahs

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There’s a certain odd irony in that spring, when the days are getting longer, temperatures are getting warmer, and the world is getting greener also tends to be something of a difficult time for me–something of an inverse take on Seasonal Affective Disorder, I suppose.

This spring, it seems to be hitting me especially hard. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been battling a bout of depression, with all the usual symptoms. General listlessness, apathy, lack of motivation, etc., etc., yadda yadda, and so on. Not to the point of becoming self-destructive or suicidal by any means–in all seriousness, I honestly can’t envision getting that depressed–but definitely fairly far removed from my usual fairly chipper self.

The causes (or, at least, some of them) are easy enough to pinpoint, especially as I’ve gone through this for the past few years: the combination of my birthday and my anniversary of escaping Alaska and moving down to Seattle fall just about a month and a half apart (May 3rd and June 16th, respectively), and each trigger the yearly “and just what have I done with myself?” question (I had the same thing going on before I left Alaska too, only with the single trigger event of my birthday). This year, it seems to be harder than usual to come up with a satisfactory answer to that question.

(Warning: long, rambling, self-indulgent, and quite possibly slightly whiny babbling follows. You’ve been warned….)

Read more

Moving towards reinstating the draft

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It may not be much longer before the draft is back in action — inactive Army reservists are getting notified that they’re next on deck to be called back to service.

A friend of mine who is currently an inactive Army reservist forwarded me some memos he received regarding future mobilizations — memos that indicate that we are not far from some kind of conscription in the next few years. According to my friend, recruiters are telling inactive reservists that they’re going to be called up one way or another eventually, so they might as well sign up now and get into non-Iraq-deploying units while they still can. There’s also a “warning order” — i.e., a heads-up — from the Army’s personnel command that talks about the involuntary transfer of inactive reservists to the active reserves, and thus into units that are on deck for the next few Iraq rotations.

(via Atrios)

iTunes: “I Must Increase My Bust (The Lords Like ’em Large)” by Lords of Acid from the album I Must Increase My Bust (1992, 6:46).

White House clearing national policy with apocalyptic fundamentalists

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This Village Voice article is enough to have me seeing red: Bush White House checked with rapture Christians before latest Israel move.

It was an e-mail we weren’t meant to see. Not for our eyes were the notes that showed White House staffers taking two-hour meetings with Christian fundamentalists, where they passed off bogus social science on gay marriage as if it were holy writ and issued fiery warnings that “the Presidents [sic] Administration and current Government is engaged in cultural, economical, and social struggle on every level”—this to a group whose representative in Israel believed herself to have been attacked by witchcraft unleashed by proximity to a volume of Harry Potter. Most of all, apparently, we’re not supposed to know the National Security Council’s top Middle East aide consults with apocalyptic Christians eager to ensure American policy on Israel conforms with their sectarian doomsday scenarios.

But now we know.

[…]

The Apostolic Congress dates its origins to 1981, when, according to its website, “Brother Stan Wachtstetter was able to open the door to Apostolic Christians into the White House.” Apostolics, a sect of Pentecostals, claim legitimacy as the heirs of the original church because they, as the 12 apostles supposedly did, baptize converts in the name of Jesus, not in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Ronald Reagan bore theological affinities with such Christians because of his belief that the world would end in a fiery Armageddon. Reagan himself referenced this belief explicitly a half-dozen times during his presidency.

While the language of apocalyptic Christianity is absent from George W. Bush’s speeches, he has proven eager to work with apocalyptics—a point of pride for Upton. “We’re in constant contact with the White House,” he boasts. “I’m briefed at least once a week via telephone briefings. . . . I was there about two weeks ago . . . At that time we met with the president.”

[…]

When Pastor Upton was asked to explain why the group’s website describes the Apostolic Congress as “the Christian Voice in the nation’s capital,” instead of simply a Christian voice in the nation’s capital, he responded, “There has been a real lack of leadership in having someone emerge as a Christian voice, someone who doesn’t speak for the right, someone who doesn’t speak for the left, but someone who speaks for the people, and someone who speaks from a theocratical perspective.”

When his words were repeated back to him to make sure he had said a “theocratical” perspective, not a “theological” perspective, he said, “Exactly. Exactly. We want to know what God would have us say or what God would have us do in every issue.”

(via Atrios)